On Running, Fog and Faith

Early on in my healing journey, I wrote a poem about sailing through the fog.
Sailing Through the Fog from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Fog horn sounding loud and clear
I slowly make my way
sailing through the pea soup fog
across Nantucket Bay.

Ocean dark I used to fear
I feel my fear transform
the arms of God embrace me
trust and faith are now my norm.

Ride the tide of intuition
safe harbor shall I find
by being still and listening
attentive to my mind.

In the middle of the ocean
no land, no sun or sky
feel only love surround me
no need to shake or cry.

My faith is now my anchor
sail tethered to my Source
guided by the angels
I can safely chart my course.

Knowing when to take a turn
to steer to stern or port
instinctive navigation
I'll never come up short!

The freedom in the silence
waves lap the only sound
a comfort in my solitude
no other soul around.

Yet in the fog I sense them
other souls who once did live
the souls who went before me
love and knowledge did they give.

This journey is the answer
allow my soul to grow
the destination's not important
it's being in the flow.

Love and peace they are the beacon
to safe harbor will they lead
when I set my foot again on land
my soul has now been freed!

During Tuesday's early morning run, I was reminded of this poem as fog enveloped the Reservoir:


Tom and I are going through a very stressful time with our daughter who suffers from severe mental illness. Running in the fog was a wonderful metaphor for needing to have faith during this time of uncertainty.

For the 2nd year in a row, Ruth Anne spent her birthday in the hospital on August 7th. Many of you may already know we've had quite the journey with her during these past 5 years as she struggled with depression, an eating disorder, addictions, compulsions and the list goes on and on. Since January of 2017, she has been hospitalized 11 - that's right 11 times an average of every two months. I am deeply grateful for her insurance but so disheartened by what's been going on. The combination of her illness and a broken system that really has no idea how to treat mental illness has been a horrible combination. Recently she has experienced physical illness that gets overlooked by her clinical presentation as a "psychiatric patient." She is exhausted and so are we. Yet somehow we find the strength to carry on and get through with Divine Guidance and faith.

These past few weeks have been horrific for her and for us culminating in her admission on Sunday. I felt Spirit guide me to guide her to consider going to the ER. While someone on the outside looking in may think well just...there is no well just and no easy solutions when we are dealing with a complex medical and psychiatric illness especially when Ruth Anne cancels appointments or tells her providers everything is fine!

Faith and fog go hand in hand.

I'm blessed by how the Divine gives me signs and strength to make it through the miles on the road of life.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route.