Sunday, June 30, 2019

Countdown to Finish at the 50 5K: What Makes Mary Run?



Last Saturday, I ran Heartbreak Hill simulating race day for the 2019 Finish at the 50 5K. After that run, I knew I was ready and it was time to go into taper time.

It's been four years since I last ran The Finish at the 50 5K. That was an epic race for me, coming back after a serious knee injury in December of 2014 that 'they' said would sideline me and result in a total knee replacement in a few years. It was the race where I met the Race Director for Bermuda Marathon Weekend and went on to run 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons.

It has taken me awhile to recover fully from Bermuda Half Marathon 2018 after running two previous half marathons and to get my bearings in relationship to severe family stress with our daughter's unrelenting psychiatric illness. but here I am poised and ready to toe the starting line.

During a 2 mile easy run around Castle Island this morning, I pondered on the question, what makes me run?



I was spent after that all out run on Heartbreak Hill and a nagging knee soreness returned. I am completely recovered from that run and had to rein in my pace today as I felt fabulous running around the Castle at Castle Island while Tom got in his 7 miles training for The Falmouth Road Race to benefit The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation.

I reflected on how much I love the ebb and flow of training; testing the limits of what my body can do and then pushing a little farther, taking time for recovery and then feeling the excitement build toward race day.

I am incredibly grateful for all that my body gives me and for my resilience.

I came to the sport of running at the age of 54 declaring that I was going to run the 2009 Boston Marathon. It was a prompting from Spirit for how else would someone go from having been told they would spend the rest of their life in a wheelchair to the sport of running? I discovered a sport where I could be unapologetically me and be celebrated for my courage to overcome the diagnosis of a progressive neuromuscular disease.

When I run and push my body, I feel fully vibrant and alive. As Dr. George Sheehan said:


I love how the sport of running gives me a sense of belonging to a community that uses running for good, for health, for wellness, for joy and for freedom as we break the shackles that bind and connect to something greater than ourselves:


And when I run and after a run, I feel a sense of contentment deep in my soul.



Counting down to Finish at the 50 5K: 2 days 22 hours 8 minutes and counting!

Let freedom ring!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.





Saturday, June 29, 2019

Countdown to Finish at the 50: On Optimism, Confidence and Resilience



Living with someone with a severe psychiatric illness can be a crushing experience, especially when that person is your daughter. The illness began 5 years ago and for the past 3 years has been unrelenting. Since January 2018, she has been hospitalized 9 times with a continuous decline in her ability to function. It is heartbreaking to witness this. One of our dear supporters said to us that we are doing God's work by having her live with us yet emphasized how important it is for us to take care of ourselves.

I have experienced many crushing blows throughout my life. This morning as I was stretching out before our strength training workout, I felt as I had after the death of my nephew by suicide in 2011 when it felt as though life had given me a knock out punch.

I thought about these quotes from Rocky:


I got in touch with how far I have come healing the effects of paralytic polio and trauma in my life. I am well trained to run the Finish at the 50 5K at Gillette Stadium on Wednesday. Tom and I have missed out on many races and events during these past 3 years while caring for our daughter. We tried everything we could to support her recovery sacrificing our own quality of life. We realized that if there is any hope for recovery it has to come from some place deep within her heart and soul in combination with a treatment team that sees her fire and desire to recover so they can respond in kind.

As I sat on the floor feeling utterly exhausted and defeated, ready to not run on Wednesday, feeling the weakness and pain in my body, I realized that I have a choice!

Since I was 5 years old I have defied the odds. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. Like the bumblebee, I should not have been able to run and certainly not run the 2009 Boston Marathon. After a very serious knee injury in December 2014, I was told I'd need a total knee replacement in a few years and had to stop running. Instead I went on to run 3 Bermuda Half Marathons in as many years.

Can you say resilient?

I was compassionate and loving toward myself as I felt the crushing blows of the past several years while awakening to the Divine within and around me.

I have learned much from my quest to heal my life and the most important thing I have learned is:


I fired up a sense of hope and confidence in my ability to heal, transform and transcend from the crushing blows I have experienced in my life, most recently witnessing what has happened to our daughter as a result of severe psychiatric illness. I got excited for Wednesday's festivities and for spending most of the week with Tom. We made plans for the Fourth of July. We did a deep cleaning of our home opening the windows, turning on floor fans to circulate the air and changing linens.

This week we celebrate freedom and independence! While we have no control over the circumstances in our lives, we get to choose our response. After I became aware of how I was allowing circumstances to affect me, I changed course in my mind.

I am fired up and ready for Finish at the 50 and for creating a beautiful summer this year.

Let freedom ring!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Countdown to Finish at the 50: On Serendipity, Sixty Six Dollars and Six(th) Cents



One week from yesterday, Tom and I will be gathering with other members of Team Big Heart to run Harvard Pilgrim's Finish at the 50 5K. Ten years ago we ran the Inaugural 10K. Four years ago we ran my comeback race after I was told that a serious left knee injury would sideline me and I should prepare for a total knee replacement in a few years. Instead, I met the Race Director of Bermuda Marathon Weekend and fulfilled a bucket list item of running the Bermuda Half Marathon in 2016, 2017 and 2018! It was a turning point in my quest to heal my life from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. It was a magical and mystical day in so many ways as you can read about in my race report.

At the starting line of the 2018 Bermuda Half Marathon, we met Brad and Linda Gilbreth, Team Captains for Team Big Heart! While we had known about The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation, it wasn't until we met Brad and Linda that we became more involved with The Foundation.





Tom was selected along with 13 other runners (including Brad and Linda) to run the Falmouth Road Race and raise money for the Foundation. With the love and support of our village we reached our goal of $1000 and then set a new goal of $1500. We put the fun into fundraising and did Facebook Live Giveaways. The generosity and kindness of our village and the village surrounding The Middlemiss Family was overwhelming. We were gifted Kindness Rocks for Joey, a $100 gift card to Tresca and an autographed Ray Bourque photo for a Silent Auction. When donors won giveaways of scratch tickets, they asked us to scratch them and donate thebir money back to Tom's fundraising campaign.

Several donors donated more than once.

By June 24th, we found ourselves only $66 away from our goal. Joey was six years old when he earned his angel wings.

Before we went to bed on the 24th, I told Tom that I wanted to see if we could get to his fundraising goal by me asking for donations for my half birthday. Coincidentally, I turn 66 this year!

When we woke up on 6/25th, there was an anonymous donation for .... $66 ... We met our goal and we will surpass it after I donate book proceeds from the sale of my books for July! The JMBHF's mission of kindness is to spread acts of kindness anonymously in Joseph's memory and leave mission cards letting people know about Joseph and The Foundation.

When we were training for the 2009 Boston Marathon, we would find change and even occasional dollar bills that gave us a boost when we seemed to need it the most. I found a Helen Keller quarter stuck upright in a mud filled crack growing wisps of green grass on Heartbreak Hill. I found a pile of change at Cleveland Circle on a window sill of a bank. All of these wonderful stories can be found in my trilogy of transformation books available on Amazon.

During one taper training run we found Six Sense.

On Sunday we went to Walgreens to pick up a few items. As soon as we walked in the store, there was a penny on the rug. I looked a little farther and saw a nickel:


The penny was dated 2015 and the nickel was dated 1989. The week before I had found Five Pennies.

The last time I ran Finish at the 50 was in 2015. That race was a turning point in my healing journey where I defied the prognosis of needing a total knee replacement and told I should stop running or at the very least cap my distance at a 5K. I defied the diagnosis and prognosis of Post Polio Syndrome being a progressive neuromuscular disease as I went on to train for and run 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons in as many years. The penny reminded me of my miracle of healing and the joy I feel as I anticipate running Finish at the 50 next Wednesday.

I began my tenure as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs in December of 1988. I was hired as the Visual Impairment Services Team Coordinator. I rebuilt the program and received an award from the Blinded Veterans Association for all I had done to support the visually impaired veterans and their families. In late 1989, the Chief of Social Work came to my office to tell me that I was being replaced.

I was incredulous and could not understand the why or how especially since I was due to get a significant increase in my pay grade after one year of successful performance at the previous pay grade level.

I was told that despite my remarkable performance, a favor was owed to a male employee (who I subsequently found out was being transferred as a result of sexual harassment claims made against him) who asked to be transferred to Boston!

Despite my shock, anger and bitterness, I picked up the pieces and accepted a reassignment as a medical social worker. We had toddler twins at the time and our family needed the income.



1989 -- a nickel -- five pennies -- reminders of my resilience and how choosing to respond to wrong doing with grace and forgiveness pays off big dividends in the long run. It is where my freedom lies!



Six cents found and a reminder to always trust my sixth sense staying connected to Source.

There are signs all around and I feel the abundant blessings as we count down to Finish at the 50. I embrace all the magic and mysticism that summertime brings and am so excited to gather with Team Big Heart to celebrate freedom and the joy of running.

We always have a choice about how to respond to the circumstances of our lives. Kate and Scott Middlemiss transformed their grief into goodness touching so many lives with the good works of The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation.

I chose to not take the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome sitting down and, throughout my life, chose to rise above the conditions of my life. I have been blessed with my connection to the Divine and the Divine continues to shower grace upon me.

Let freedom ring!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Countdown to Finish at the 50: On Earth Angels and Healers



As I mentally prepare to run the Finish at the 50 next Wednesday, I take pause and give thanks for the miracle of healing in my life and earth angels who have been there to bless my life with healing and love.

My desire to compete despite knowing that there will be thousands of runners who finish before me comes from Joseph Stetz who is now an angel in heaven.



He was my camp counselor at Badger Day Camp when I was only 11 years old. He gave up an Olympic bid in the 1964 Olympic Trials in the butterfly to go to medical school but was passionate about swimming and competition. Despite my history of paralytic polio and clear lack of athleticism as a result of having contracted polio, Joe entreated me to compete in the end of summer camp Olympics in the butterfly competition. I told him that I wouldn't be able to do that outlining all of my fears, but Joe would not let me make excuses. He told me he would coach me one on one and get me ready for race day. There were only two other campers signed up for the butterfly in my age group and I was therefore guaranteed a place on the podium and a plaque. True to his word, he worked with me on turns and jumping off the racing block which were my two biggest fears and coached me on technique for the butterfly. After I finished in 3rd place, he extended a hand to me to help me get out of the pool and proudly led me to the podium where I proudly clutched my plaque while they announced the winners!

We exchanged letters while he was in medical school and he wrote me beautiful letters of support as I wrote to him about my medical challenges. I couldn't tell him about the trauma I endured every night but his letters brought a healing balm to the pain I experienced. We lost touch through the years but his touch never left my heart.

While reading the Boston Globe obituaries one day, I saw his death notice. I was in shock. We both worked at St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Brighton during the same time. He was a cardiothoracic surgeon and I was a psychiatric social worker on the inpatient unit. He died in a single car accident shortly after retirement. At the starting line of the Bermuda 10K this year, I "just happened" to be standing next to a nurse from St. Elizabeth's Hospital who "just happened" to have worked with Joe. We were both in awe of this 'meeting' during which she had a chance to hear about Joe's life before he became a doctor and I heard about his life at St. E's. She told me that he didn't plan to retire but he was changing the oil in his car when he had an accident that left permanent damage and he could no longer perform surgery. It was in many ways a tragedy that he died at the age of 62 but he blessed and saved so many lives during his time here as an earth angel. He certainly blessed mine and planted the seeds for me to become a competitor in the sport of running at the age of 54!

I "just happened" to meet Dr. Ryan J. Means or Dr. Ryan as he likes to be called after I sustained a serious knee injury in December of 2014. Here's a photo of us together before he left for China in August of 2015:



And our reunion in New York City in November of 2016:


He is a doctor of chiropractic. Our time working together was brief because he left for to China several months after I met him but he helped me to pick myself up and get back to the serious business of healing my life after doctors, PT's and a massage therapist told me my running days were over and I should prepare for a total knee replacement within a few years. All that I set into motion through the power of my pen, my divining rod for healing and the hard work I had done to heal my life, catapulted me into Dr. Ryan's vortex and together we co-created another miracle of healing in my life.

I will be taking both Dr. Ryan and Joe with me to the starting line of the Finish at the 50. Finish at the 50 2015 was my comeback race after the injury and a turning point in my healing journey. I went on to defy the diagnoses and prognosis of Post Polio Syndrome and that knee injury and went on to run 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons.

Tom and I will be running as part of Team Big Heart, a group of runners who support The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation. Part of their mission is spreading acts of kindness and leaving heart imprints sending out ripples of love and kindness into the world.

I may not run fast but I run with heart and a heart overflowing with gratitude for the earth angels and healers who helped me transform and transcend beyond childhood paralytic polio and trauma.

You can read more about how Joe and Dr. Ryan and other earth angels blessed my life in "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" and my trilogy of transformation available on Amazon.

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Monday, June 24, 2019

When It All Comes Together!



One week from Wednesday Tom and I will be running with heart at the 10th Annual Finish at the 50 5 and 10K race.

I easily have the 5K distance and know there is no time limit but I am going for a PR. No not a PR on the clock but a PR for mind, body and soul: to Perform remarkably well!

On Saturday, Tom and I set out to simulate race day on Heartbreak Hill. What better way to train for the ramps at Gillette than on Heartbreak Hill.

I took several deep breaths and stretched before we began our final training run for race day.

I listened to my body and while I pushed my pace, I knew when I needed to take a break, catch my breath, have a sip of water and continue on.

Heartbreak Hill is a series of hills and after we conquered the first Hill, Tom let me know that I had just run the equivalent of the ramps at Gillette. It was a great confidence booster to both hear him say that and see the pace I ran.

It's always a thrill to reach the summit of a hill and then experience the ease and exhilaration of a downhill. After we reached the crest of the second hill near Boston College, at the 1.56 halfway point, I felt strong and ready to take on my first major race since January of 2018!



I experienced the joy of running, challenging myself yet running from the inside out to see what this body could do.

As Tom called out the paces, I was in awe of how my training peaked; how the months of running on Heartbreak Hill, doing speed work around the Reservoir and on flat surfaces and our twice a week strength training workouts with some pool workouts was paying BIG dividends.

We had a 206' elevation gain with negative splits all the way. Of course negative splits are boosted when you go downhill!

Throughout the training run, I visualized race day. Using visualization has been vital in my journey back to health and wellness after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006.

Since my 3rd Bermuda Half Marathon in as many years, I was having a very hard time getting back my running mojo. The training took a toll as I continued to heal from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma but so has our daughter's severe psychiatric disability of these past 3 years!

Tom and I have worked very very hard to reclaim OUR lives and get back to all the things that bring us joy in our lives. In 2015 I was coming back from a very serious knee injury that doctors and PT's said would sideline me and that I would need a total knee replacement in a few years. I was blessed to meet a chiropractor who reminded me of what I know to be true about healing and he helped me to build on the foundation I had laid down during the previous 8 years of my healing odyssey. This year's race is my comeback race from the severe stress of our daughter's struggles with depression, eating disorder, addiction and suicidal behaviors.

Scenes from Saturday's run:


A wonderful memory popped up in my Facebook feed this morning:
And with that it is taper time! Race day is 8 days away. Will do strength training and cross train in the pool. PR here we come! Was within 8 seconds of what I need and that's after Saturday's kick butt training on Heartbreak Hill and 2 hours in the pool on Monday! Oh yeah!


It had the map from my last training run from Nike+.

How amazing that I am on the same schedule for this comeback race 4 years after that magical and mystical time at Finish at the 50 2015. You can read my race report by following this link.

I know that I am race ready. I feel it in my soul as I felt a stirring in my soul when I decided to sign up for Finish at the 50.

It's time to maintain what I have been able to achieve with race preparation with cross training, getting into the pool, having rest days and one more chiropractic treatment next Tuesday.

I have an imprint in mind, body and soul of our last training run for Finish at the 50 and how incredible it felt when it all came together!

I am very excited to recreate this scene on the 50 yard line of Gillette Stadium next Wednesday:




Let freedom ring!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.


Friday, June 21, 2019

The Heart of a Champion: Coming Full Circle



In December of 2014, after having run 9 races in 9 months with several PR's along the way, my left knee just couldn't take anymore. It started with pain and the pain led to not being able to put any weight on the leg. It was after the Miss Santa Holiday 5K 2014. Tom and I debated about whether or not to go to the Emergency Room but opted instead to harness the power of my mind/body connection, ice and Advil and then a cane.

I was surrounded by nay sayers. The massage therapist and the team of therapists at the practice I had been going to all said it was time to hang up my running shoes. The Team and fellow Aquatics Therapy class members at Spaulding Rehab Aquatics Therapy told me "We told you so." I had shared my racing triumphs with them and then they saw I was injured.

Since May 2007, I dedicated myself to healing the effects of childhood paralytic polio and trauma mind, body and soul. I hadn't come that far to only go that far.

From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
While Tom was at work I focused all of my attention and intention on healing my knee. After the second day, I asked him to buy a cane at CVS on his way home from work. Like a dog with its tail between its legs I reluctantly made an appointment with Dr. Rosenberg. I was no longer a survivor of paralytic polio but a runner who wanted to get back to the sport that had given me so much. Unfortunately, Dr. Rosenberg still saw me as a polio survivor. He did a physical exam and suspected that I had a badly torn meniscus.

“Let’s order an MRI and go from there but in the meantime absolutely no running!”

I agreed.

While waiting for the MRI results and a follow up appointment with Dr. Rosenberg, I agonized about my fate. I had forgotten, for the moment, that I had the power to heal.

“Be who you were created to be and you will set the world on fire.” ~St. Catherine of Sienna

I went on line to get my MRI results before my appointment with Dr. Rosenberg in early January of 2015. The report indicated that I did indeed have a very badly torn meniscus and degenerative joint changes, bone spurs, a fatty lipoma, joint changes from multiple surgeries and fatty infiltrates into the left medial gastroc muscle as a result of denervation. That didn’t sound good but I know how appearances can and are deceiving. I remembered how I dissolved a breast tumor and rewired my entire body
through the power of visualization. I transcended my past. I transformed from a survivor of paralytic polio to a woman who goes the distance on the roads and in my life.

Tom came with me for me follow up appointment. I didn’t betray to Dr. Rosenberg that I had already read my report. I listened as he told me the findings.

“Well we already knew you had an atrophied gastroc muscle from the polio. There’s nothing you can do about that. There is not enough cartilage to repair if you have arthroscopic surgery. I can tell you in all likelihood you are going to need a total knee replacement in a few years. You know my thoughts about running. I think you know my recommendation Mary. You really shouldn’t be running but if you are going to run please cap your distance. No more than a 5K. I am going to give you a prescription for physical therapy. I’d like to also highly recommend that you please come back to the Post-Polio clinic for a new evaluation. You know it’s only a matter of time before things start to progress again. Don’t overdo it!”

As I left the clinic with my prescription in hand, I watched myself making a follow up appointment for a re-evaluation with “the team.” I wasn’t sure that’s what I really needed.


I encountered the physical therapist from hell but all I set into motion with my powerful intentions and my pen, my Divining Rod for healing led me to Ryan J. Means, a chiropractor who just happened to be renting office space at the massage therapy practice I was going to yet no one had suggested I see him. We met at my book launch party for a book that I have since rewritten!

Dr. Ryan urged me to read Dr. Joe Dispenza's "You Are the Placebo" and directed me to the works of other mind/body luminaries. He helped me to build on the foundation of healing I set in motion and go the distance in my healing and on the roads.

With KT tape, Graston technique, affirmations, meditation, chiropractic care and a balanced training program, I entered a new phase of my quest to heal my life from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma!

My comeback race was The Finish at the 50 5K on July 3rd, 2015.

Anthony Raynor and Clarence Smith had me at hello at the Bermuda Marathon Weekend Booth at the Finish at the 50 Expo. Tom started chatting with Clarence "Stoker" Smith. I hung back but cocked an ear to the conversation. I gingerly eyed the pink Bermuda wrist bands, the bling from Bermuda Marathon Weekend races and the samples of pink sand. I glanced at Tom and felt we each had a tug at our souls. The tug got stronger with each moment we talked with Clarence and Anthony. We reminisced about when we went to Bermuda. I felt goosebumps and a warm feeling come over me, while a part of me was wondering why was I even having this conversation about running in Bermuda. Several months ago I was told to cap my distance and prepare for a total knee replacement.

“If you can get up to the Half Marathon distance, you’ll be better off than running the 10K with all of its steep hills,” Anthony said in his delicious Bermudian accent.

“The last time I was in Bermuda I was in a leg brace using a cane and a wheelchair.”

Clarence's wife said, "Look at you now girl."

There was no stopping me now. We exchanged information. Clarence told us he'd pick us up at the airport. I chatted with Anthony about the weather in January.

"Look," he said with a deep warm laugh, "I was told you people still have piles of snow near the Seaport Hotel from this past winter. I can guarantee you this. You will have no snow in Bermuda in January."

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.” ~Mark Twain

It was time to sail away from safe harbor and go the distance again. This time on the magical Island of Bermuda.


After 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons, I had to take time off to heal and to take a break from training for any races. But my soul got fired up and I decided it was time to come full circle and run The Finish at the 50 5K. First I checked in with Dave McGillivray to make sure there was no time limit. Then I worked on speed on flat surfaces and endurance on the hills since we run the ramps at Gillette Stadium.

Here's a flashback Friday to our 2015 race:


Tomorrow will be my final training run before we toe the starting line at Finish at the 50 on July 3rd.

It's going to be a fabulously fun time where Tom and I will be running as part of Team Big Heart.

While I do not run "fast" I sure do run with heart! My heart of a champion is full as I come full circle back to the race that signaled the beginning of new chapters in my healing journey inspiring others with what is possible when we harness our strength, our will, our determination, our mind/body connection and run with the heart of a champion!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Never Outrun Your Joy of Running



If you would have told me twelve years ago as I sat in a leg brace having walked away from my award winning career as a VA social worker to heal my life that I would experience the joy of running, I would have told you that's just not possible! I had never run a day in my life and was told I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. While I knew that I was finding my way out of the dark night of mind, body and soul, I had no idea of the road(s) that would open before me through the sport of running.

Time and time again, I find myself pushing away the notion that I "have" a progressive neuromuscular disease and focus on the healing, not on the wound.

From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Focus on the Healing

Focus on the healing not on the wound
at first blush imperceptible changes
like the first peak at the crocus breaking ground
we can only imagine
what flower will emerge after the darkness of winter…

I had a dream last night
terror filled my body in the darkness
my father the intruder
thunder and lightning filled the room
crashing around me

“I never wanted to harm you”

Hyperventilation slows into steady breath
no longer raw and weary from the fight
wounds bound
roots grounded
peace descends
Spirit soars
only the trace of a scar remains
a reminder of the miracle of my life.

The natural healing force within each one of us is the greatest force in getting well. ~Hippocrates


After having run 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons, my body was sore and tired. I had subtle injuries and wasn't able to experience the joy of running, training for a race and digging deep to challenge myself.

After taking time off from endurance running and not signing up for races, I had time to recover and heal. I thought my first race would be Finish at the 50 5K but found myself toeing the starting line of the Becca Pizzi 5K and Kids Fun Run.

It feels wonderful to be pushing my pace and feeling the joy of a great run.

Tom and I are each doing our own training runs so he can prepare for the Falmouth Road Race that he is running to raise money for The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation happening in August. In addition to myself, he has become my greatest competitor seeing how far I can run before he catches up to me while he runs a farther distance at his own pace. We each take photos to capture the sensational sights and sounds of the season on our runs and always meet up for our selfies.

Last Saturday I had a very strong run in South Boston. I drank in the sea air, the sound of the waves lapping against the shore and feeling the absolute sense of unbridled joy, freedom and ease in my body. It was a flat course but it was also the fastest time I had run in a very long time!



It was awesome to wait for Tom to finish his run in the beautiful sunshine hydrating and enjoy my banana until we took our selfie...


We woke up at 5:45 Monday morning to head out on our Reservoir run. After my negative splits and fastest mile in a very long time on Saturday, I was planning to take it easy but once we warmed up and went our separate ways, I felt a lightness and ease and the day invoking me to enjoy a lovely tempo run.



Two weeks from today Team McManus will be running The Finish at the 50 5K. While the ramps at Gillette are always a challenge, and the forecast calls for heat and humidity, I will carry this poem deep within my heart and soul. I wrote it in 2015 after a serious knee injury in December of 2014. The doctor and PT's said that I needed to hang up my running shoes and prepare for a total knee replacement. The Universe and I had other plans as we had after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006. I will be celebrating the joy of running, knowing I was born to run and celebrating freedom!

From 'Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life':

"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them." -Marcus Aurelius

Born to Run

Born free
born to run
run free
unencumbered untethered unshackled
pouring energy into my running form
liquid gold once fired in the crucible
now my treasure born of my Spirit molded with alchemy
refining
my precious treasure once buried
the map safely tucked away
X marks the spot
a new starting line.

Poised and ready
to go the distance
all out without hesitation
all is healed at last
my pace swift
Mercury and Hermes pace me on winged feet
I AM
born to run
running free
joyfully crossing the finish line with ease.


From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.







Sunday, June 16, 2019

On Forgiveness, Father's Day and The Five Pennies



I tend to skip over Father's Day as a holiday especially since our children are now 31 years old. I would acknowledge that my biological father seared me with scars but that I am strong and resilient and have overcome the odds of thriving after paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of my father and other family members.

From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
The deck was stacked against me. Without warning, on June 3, 1959, I dropped to the ground in Kindergarten class. Three years after contracting paralytic polio, shortly after coming out of my leg brace, my father became alcoholic. Nine years of emotional, physical and sexual assaults followed until he died by suicide when I was 17 years old. In December of 2006 I was diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

In many ways, my life has been like an adventure movie. I battled evil, and fought for my life. Every time somebody told me I shouldn't or couldn't do something, I turned around and said, "Watch me now."

Never tell me the odds!

“Out of our deepest wounds we find our greatest strength, our most beautiful treasures and the knowledge that love is far greater, and more powerful than any experience we endure.” ~Mary McManus


I have been blessed with wonderful loving and supportive dads through the years. My first earth angel dad, at the age of 10, was one of my camp counselors at Badger Day Camp, Joseph Stetz:


I opened the car door at CVS yesterday and saw a penny on the ground.

"Look what's here," I said to Tom.

"Wait there's more."

There were Five Pennies!


We couldn't decipher the dates on most of them but 1963 and 2007 stood out. I was 10 years old in 1963. In 2007, I took a leap of faith leaving my award winning career as a VA social worker at the height of my career to heal my life.

But I knew it was more than the dates that held symbolism; it was The Five Pennies.

I was incredulous as I remembered the movie "The Five Pennies" with Danny Kaye. It's a semi-biographical story about a jazz musician Red Nichols who had a band, "The Five Pennies" because five pennies equal a nickel and his name was Nichols. He was at the top of his professional game when "disaster struck". His daughter contracted polio.



We watched the movie together and my father sobbed! I remember sitting in the theater next to him. It was incredible to see the soft and tender side of him again that I had seen during the early days of when I contracted paralytic polio before he became alcoholic. Because my mother was addicted to prescription pain medication, she was unable to care for me. He would take care of me and got me to the best rehab doctor in New York. Yet when I was 8 years old, alcohol turned him into a madman. When he emerged from his alcoholic stupor he would always apologize to me.

The first line of his suicide note read, "Please forgive me for what I am about to do but the prospect of prison doesn't appeal to me and I don't think I could survive it."

Shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I began a journal practice of forgiveness and gratitude. Gratitude came easily to me even in the midst of having been told I "had" a progressive neuromuscular disease with the help of my Chosen Dad, Bernie Siegel, MD. Forgiveness was more of a challenge for me yet I knew that I needed to experience forgiveness in order for my body to heal the wounds from my past.

Shortly after his death, I had a dream about him but have felt no connection with him on the other side until yesterday.

I was dreading another Father's Day with all the social media posts and pictures of fathers that had already begun on Friday.

I knew I would be able to just get through it as I get through Mother's Day every year but then The Five Pennies happened ... and as evening drew near, I looked out my office window and captured this photo:


The Five Pennies movie release date was 6/18/1959 just two weeks after I contracted paralytic polio. Back in the day, movies stayed around in theaters and we went to see it once I was able to get around with the help of crutches and a long metal leg brace.

On 6/15/2019, 60 years later, my father gave me a nudge and reminded me about the power of forgiveness, The Five Pennies and to heal my heart this Father's Day.

Thank you dad for all the blessings and lessons you brought into my life.

Thank you Bernie Siegel for being my chosen dad and helping to coach me back to health and wellness.

Thank you to all the wonderful mentors I had who believed in me and helped me become the woman I am today.

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for June and July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.