Hope: A Collection of Poems and Essays From the Pandemic of 2020

My original title for my next book was "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume 2."

During a meditation, I was inspired to change the title and include blog posts I have written since February before the world became locked in the grip of a pandemic.

My worlds as a writer, runner, poet and eternal optimist collide in my latest book which includes original poetry written after March 15th and reflections during an unprecedented time in our history.

I am excited to share with you the working draft of the Introduction:

Speaking at the Hyannis Marathon Pre-Race Pasta Dinner in February of 2020 and sharing my journey at the Expo was a highlight of my most unlikely running career. I reunited with friends I had met since I discovered the sport of running in February of 2008. Hugs and selfies were the order of the day. I made new friends at the Expo and after my talk at the Pre-Race Pasta Dinner where I shared the podium with Bill Rodgers. We were all looking forward to a reunion in April in Boston for the Boston Marathon and for a year of exhilarating events.

We were excited to be hosting the water stop for our beloved running club, L Street on March 8th. We ignored any of the quiet warnings about COVID-19 and hugged sweaty runners, poured water and Gatorade into cups for runners to drink and congratulated runners on getting through one of their last long runs before taper time for the Boston Marathon.

On March 12th, I walked into my pregnant chiropractor’s office.

The airwaves and social media news feeds were beginning to fill with fear and panic. I had a sense in my gut that something was terribly wrong with the messages and the methods that surrounded COVID-19.

“I don’t think they have any plan for this,” I told Dr. Lizzie.

“I’m not worried about getting the virus,” Dr. Lizzie said. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen to my business.”

Always the commensurate professional, Dr. Lizzie gave me an outstanding treatment of chiropractic care. We hugged at the end of the treatment.

“As long as things are open, I will be here,” she said.

The first email she sent outlined the precautions she would take while keeping her practice open. Two days later she said that she would have to follow the State and City guidelines and temporarily close her practice. As numbers of cases spiked, she made the decision to close her practice until January 2021 giving herself an extended maternity leave.

I witnessed my friends who are small business owners shutter their shops. Since we were not financially affected by the shut down, we supported them as much as we could. We ordered take out from our favorite restaurants, shopped on line and bought gift certificates to our favorite stores to use once restrictions were lifted.

In March of 2020, there was an epidemic of fear and a time of chaos related to the COVID-19 virus. It inspired me to open my heart and soul to the gift of poetry and writing I discovered shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome.

Victor Frankl said that “The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way. And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour, offered the opportunity to make a decision, a decision which determined whether you would or would not submit to those powers which threatened to rob you of your very self, your inner freedom; which determined whether or not you become the plaything to circumstance, renouncing freedom and dignity...”

I returned to harnessing the power of my pen, my divining rod for healing and am delighted to share with you this new collection of poetry and reflections of life during an unprecedented time of a pandemic, economic upheaval, a call to eliminate racial injustice and, in the United States, an election of epic historical proportions.

I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul in February of 2007 shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair and to expect an accelerated aging progress as a result of the polio virus I contracted when I was 5 years old in one of the last polio epidemics in the United States. Despite having had 5 vaccines, I still contracted the virus. But having had polio and then being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome were two of the greatest gifts in my life for which I am deeply grateful. I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul AND was led to the sport of running.

I call my pen my divining rod for healing as poems poured forth from my soul inspiring me to let go of the pain of the past through gratitude, love and forgiveness and imagine a beautiful future for myself; one in which my body was running – yes running – free and seeing myself as healthy, happy, whole and healed!

Running helped me to transform from a survivor of paralytic polio and severe childhood trauma to a marathoner discovering strength, redemption, a most remarkable village of friends and most importantly, the truth of who I am.

While out on a morning run in March of 2020, I witnessed the stirring of new life with the beginning of Spring in New England. I felt a stirring in my soul. Despite the chaos and fear, I felt a sense of hope and possibility. A poem poked its way through me and I knew it was time to write another book. These poems and reflections are in chronological order of when they were written from March 15th through (date to be determined).

Although races and events were either postponed and eventually cancelled, or went to a virtual race format, running three times a week helped me to navigate the turbulent times. Those runs inspired poems and reflections. Those runs helped me to stay focused, grounded and optimistic always finding something to be grateful for and appreciate in the world around me.

As fear and anger filled the airwaves and social media streams, it was a time for deep breaths, connecting to the Divine, the Source of all, connecting to nature and to each other soul to soul, heart to heart without politics and divisiveness but with tenderness, love, kindness and compassion. Often times it takes a crisis to awaken us to healing, hope and possibilities. My hope is that this collection of poems and essays serve as a reminder that whatever the challenge, however dark and hopeless things may seem, there is always faith, hope and optimism to guide us through.



I feel wonderful when I am immersed in the creative process inspired by messages from Spirit. I am writing "Hope" in real time and will know when the arc of the story will be complete.

There have been several times throughout my life when life came to a screeching halt. I am filled with healing, hope and possibility that as individuals, as a community, as a country and a world we can move forward and heal.

To be inspired by my journey from having been told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon.

From my heart to yours
In health, hope and wellness
Mary

When the going gets tough..

the tough get running!



These past several weeks have been very stressful for Team McManus. While I continue to practice an attitude of deep gratitude for all of our blessings including the strength and resilience to navigate stressful events, it is important to acknowledge that stress can take its toll and build up as different events occur.

Rather than share the litany of events that occurred, the tipping point came when Tom had to be tested for COVID at Boston College this past Monday. We know we are all healthy and well. We knew Ruth Anne tested negative when she went for an appointment for a possible UTI. We know that the symptoms of the virus can be very similar to how stress manifests in the body and we all know the role that the power of belief plays in our bodies. We focused on creating the outcome we wanted rather than focus on fear. {Spoiler alert: It was negative!} The testing site was well organized without any waiting at the site. They said Tom would get the results in 6-26 hours.

His colleagues starting getting their results and after 26 hours he called student health services. They said he would not get the results until late Tuesday or Wednesday morning.

Let go and let God and get out the door to go on a run while trying to let thoughts of worry pass by like clouds as any person who meditates will do. Yet I also honored my feelings of being aware of the fragility of life and how life can change on a dime!

We were not worried about Tom getting ill but rather concerned about the disruption a positive test would cause in our lives. Ruth Anne is just getting back to volunteering and seeing her acupuncturist on a regular basis. She would not be able to go to either of those activities for 14 days. I didn't know if we would all need to quarantine or if I would be able to get out to get us groceries. As I observed my racing thoughts, Ruth Anne and I took in the spectacular scenes before us on a beautiful summer morning:


I felt a heaviness in my body and focused on releasing the weight I felt while being so grateful for the gift of being free to be able to get up, go out the door and get in a run.

The phone rang...spam call.

We focused on the geese that swooped in seemingly from out of nowhere landing with flappping wings. A bubble of joy rose up within me to see their movements with reckless abandon and the splashing of water.

The phone rang again as we were on our final loop around the Reservoir.

"It was negative," Tom said and the tears began to flow.

Nike+ said, "Pausing work out."

"The volunteer put in my wrong email address. The nurse at the Health Services got all of my information, called the testing lab and got the results. She was very chatty and I told her that I was sorry to cut her off but I have to call my wife." Even though Tom didn't tell me that only negative results would be sent via email, as a former social worker in health care, I knew that positive results would not be sent via email. Tom confirmed my suspicion after he received the results.

Ruth Anne and I laughed and cried for the rest of our 4.2 miles. She would be able to volunteer and see her acupuncturist later in the day and we would be able to move forward with living our lives as we have been since March mindful of masks and social distancing with a lifestyle that promotes health and wellness.

Tom was supposed to be on vacation last Monday and Tuesday but with the scheduling of the testing along with critical work that had deadlines, he moved his vacation days to yesterday and today. We are thoroughly enjoying this time together savoring the final days of summer.

We are taking deep breaths, looking forward to easier and lighter days giving thanks for the gifts of health, abundance and wonderful friendships.

We are looking forward to joyful and playful runs letting go of stress and take great comfort in knowing that when the going gets tough, the tough take to the roads!

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com to learn more about the power of the mind/body connection and visualization

My books are available on Amazon

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness...healing, hope and possibilities
Mary

Reflections on Freedom: Our Fourth of July Run

Even though I experienced severe trauma at the hands of family members, I was always bold in the way I lived my life. Often times my boldness would result in more trauma but I held steadfast to my Truth until the time would come when I could venture out into the world on my own.

In December of 2006, the Western Medicine community gave me the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome and told me to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I boldly turned a deaf ear to their predictions and tuned into Source for Divine Guidance. The answer came in the form of a poem, "Running the Race" and then poems flowed out of me in which I imagined myself running and dancing, feeling free in my body. The poems also served as a way to heal the past through gratitude, forgiveness and bathing my wounds with Divine Love.

During the summer of 1971, I was a prisoner in my own home. Even though my parents were separated, my father would come to the house in a drunken rage. Because my mother was addicted to prescription pain medication, she would let him in the house. On August 1, 1971 he ended his life after going missing for 5 days.

All the trauma had become trapped in my body and combined with the effects of paralytic polio which I contracted at age 5, my body, mind and soul were withering away.

BUT this story has a very happy ending!



I began to heal and transform through the power of the mind/body connection through visualization and meditation along with rigorous physical training. I found my way to the sport of running and on April 20, 2009, crossed the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon.



To quote Forrest Gump, "And from that day on, whenever I was going anywhere I was running!" Well not quite but running is an integral part of my life.

From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them." -Marcus Aurelius

Born to Run

Born free
born to run
run free
unencumbered untethered unshackled
pouring energy into my running form
liquid gold once fired in the crucible
now my treasure born of my Spirit molded with alchemy
refining
my precious treasure once buried
the map safely tucked away
X marks the spot
a new starting line.

Poised and ready
to go the distance
all out without hesitation
all is healed at last
my pace swift
Mercury and Hermes pace me on winged feet
I AM
born to run
running free
joyfully crossing the finish line with ease.

What a wonderful way to celebrate July 4th running with Tom and Ruth Anne by my side. We celebrated my freedom from my past and the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome along with Ruth Anne's freedom from a diagnosis of chronic psychiatric illness to transformation to health and wellness after we found the missing puzzle piece last summer.

It was extremely bold of me to not accept the diagnosis that the "professionals" were giving Ruth Anne and to allow Spirit to guide me in helping her find her way out of the darkness and onto a path of health and wellness.

We celebrated our freedom with a run and were treated to these glorious scenes:


My heart was full after running 3.37 miles feeling deep gratitude for the freedom I have come to know despite challenging circumstances I have lived through.



Let freedom ring!

To learn more about my incredible journey be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books to inspire and uplift you are available on Amazon.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

I Exceed All Expectations..I am a runner!

@John Bingham

It was a cold dark day in February of 2007. It was the dark night of my mind, body and soul. In December of 2006, I was given the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair possibly needing a feeding tube and a sleep apnea machine. "If you use it, you will lose it," was the philosophy 13 years ago of how to "treat" and and try to "stall" the symptoms of a neuromuscular condition.

As I sat in a toe up leg brace


I got still and asked for Divine Guidance...The answer as I wrote about in "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":



And then I felt a stirring in my second chakra (only then I didn’t know it was my second chakra – I thought it might have been something I ate). I went over to my laptop in the corner of the living room and I wrote this poem:

Running the Race
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.
Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone
and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.
Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist,
curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes
the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse
with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.
Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else
and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-
trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team
and they were on my side.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

I sobbed to write those words. I had never spoken about polio or the abuse I endured. I became curious. Why am I writing about winning a 10K race?

May 25th marked the 13th anniversary of when I took a leap of faith to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker to heal my life. And heal my life I did!

I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon


and fell in love with the sport of running.

After a serious knee injury in December of 2014, I once again harnessed the power of the mind/body connection defying all appearances and prognosis that I needed a total knee replacement and ran the 2016, 2017 and 2018 Bermuda Half Marathons.

I took a break from endurance running and even from running races. I returned to the roads last May with a series of 5K runs. I wasn't running that many miles and went out for runs 2 days a week going to the pool once/week and strength training twice/week.

My goal for this year was to work my way back up to a 10K but then "the thing which shall not be named" happened and life came to a screeching halt. My chiropractor is pregnant and closed down her practice early for maternity leave. During the initial stay at home order, it was difficult to find places to run and maintain distance from other runners. Everyone was in a state of shock and anxiety.

Yet we managed to maintain a regular running schedule and I worked on speed rather than increasing distance.

I did notice on my Nike+ that the mileage for March, April and May was 10-15 miles more than for last year. In March, the gyms closed.

One by one races were cancelled. Some were rescheduled as virtual races. We cancelled our hotel reservations that coincided with race weekends although we are holding out hope for Cape Cod Marathon Weekend which would be Tom and Ruth Anne's first half since Bermuda 2018.

I was very close to hitting 40 miles for the month of May but would need to add on a little extra mileage to get there.

Tom and Ruth Anne were going to do a long run in preparation for the virtual Falmouth Road Race and Cape Cod Marathon Weekend but wanted to stay with me to celebrate the third consecutive over 40 miles month.

It was a gorgeous morning for a run with geese, swans, turkeys and a beautiful blue sky:


Instinctively everyone ran in one direction at the Reservoir.

There was so much joy and freedom!

Tom suggested we add onto the mileage by running down Beacon Street to the fountain in front of the Waterworks Museum and then do our loop around the Reservoir.

When we got home we had run 3.41 miles:


and I saw my Nike+ total for May as 40.18 miles!

While 40+ miles in one month might not seem like a lot for many runners, for me it is quite the accomplishment.

After all, I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair and a whole host of other predictions were made based on my history of having contracted paralytic polio at age 5.

I am proud to be a part of this amazing sport where, if you run, you're a runner and for me... I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace!

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com to learn more about my incredible journey from the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

My books are available on Amazon

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

To Good Health!

Yesterday was a magnificent Spring Day; the kind of day we New Englanders patiently wait for while Autumn and Winter seasons move through. On a day where the sun is shining, the air is dry and comfortably cool, runners would take to various routes throughout the City. Some might be experiencing the after glow of the Boston Marathon while others eagerly anticipate their turn to toe the starting line at their Spring Marathon. Still others would be maintaining their running base getting ready to gear up for Fall Marathons. Team McManus would head either to South Boston or Wollaston Beach to enjoy the sweet smell of sea air in Springtime and Boston in bloom.

This year everything is different.

Last week I tried to run with a mask on and it created more problems for me than being able to experience all the benefits of what a good run does for me. It was a trauma trigger from childhood experiences and compromised my breathing. I soldiered on through several runs. During my meditations I visualized a 5K course we could run that was spacious and where social distancing would not be an issue.

We knew that the Chestnut Hill Reservoir would be crowded but we love seeing the water. We chose to run around the outside of the Reservoir on Beacon Street. We were debating whether to run up the long hill or go by St. Ignatius Church. Tom works at Boston College and suggested we take a left and run around Campus. Students left Campus in late March and only essential employees remain on staggered shifts. How delicious to breathe in the fragrant Spring air and see Spring in bloom on the campus of my Alma Mater. There was an eerie sense of quiet at a time when there would be students hurrying around Campus getting ready for finals and the electric energy of seniors preparing for graduation.

I focused on our run tuning out the eerie feeling of a campus without students feeling deeply blessed and grateful that I was running free.



From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life"

"Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them." -Marcus Aurelius

Born to Run

Born free
born to run
run free
unencumbered untethered unshackled
pouring energy into my running form
liquid gold once fired in the crucible
now my treasure born of my Spirit molded with alchemy
refining meo
my precious treasure once buried
the map safely tucked away
X marks the spot
a new starting line.

Poised and ready
to go the distance
all out without hesitation
all is healed at last
my pace swift
Mercury and Hermes pace me on winged feet
I AM
born to run
running free
joyfully crossing the finish line with ease.

I have worked so hard in these last 13 years to heal the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. Running has been my therapy for mind, body and soul. I know this time of stay at home orders and a pandemic has taken a toll on so many creating physical, emotional, spiritual and financial hardships. I know what it's like to be challenged with a life threatening condition, be exposed to severe traumatic events, go through bankruptcy with my family of origin and experience financial hardship during the last recession.

I've learned how to create what I want and need in my life through the power of visualization harnessing the power of the mind/body connection and how to find a path to thrive during challenging situations.

During these times I am focused on good health mind, body and soul and find creative ways to keep moving forward.

Here's to your good health!

Be sure to visit my website to learn more about my inspirational journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and beyond!

My books are available on Amazon.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
With love and peace
Mary

A Celebration of Choices - A Celebration of Chance

As the fireworks display illuminated the night sky over Gillette Stadium after the Finish at the 50 races, I felt as though it was the Universe helping me celebrate the choices I made since the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006.





The first choice I made as I stood on the crossroads of my life was to get still and ask for Divine Guidance. The answer came in the form of a poem, "Running the Race." Poetry flowed out of me as though a spigot had been turned on in my soul. I imagined myself running free, feeling healthy and whole, dancing in the rain without a leg brace. My poetry focused on gratitude and forgiveness, well-being and expressed a profound connection to the Divine that I first experienced at the age of 5 after contracting paralytic polio.

I chose to quit my award winning career at the VA with the love and support of my husband to heal my life, dedicating myself to transcending a horrific past and transforming my life mind, body and soul. Chance led me to an incredible spine doctor who referred me to an angel of a physical therapist. She helped me to find the courage to take that leap of faith and led me to believe I could and would get stronger. I was not destined to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair!

When chance brought a personal trainer into my life, I chose to see if there was any way I could build on the program I received at Spaulding Rehab Outpatient Clinic.

From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
Shortly after being discharged from outpatient physical therapy I met Janine Hightower through Herb Simmons. He knew Janine through his participation in the Cardiac Rehab program at Boston Medical Center. I was launching my business New World Greeting Cards, original poetry for every occasion. She was a member of BNI, a professional networking group. As we sat in my living room, she talked about BNI and the benefits of being a member of this networking group. As she talked, I wasn’t focused on growing my business. My mind zeroed in on her sharing with us how she used BNI to promote her in home personal training business.

“You know I’m curious,” I said to Janine. “Do you think you could help me? I was just discharged from Spaulding Rehab.”

I went on to tell her about my journey.

“I don’t know,” she said “but I’d certainly be happy to set up an assessment with you.”

I couldn’t even pass the initial fitness assessment.

“You’re way too young to not be able to get off of the toilet seat without holding on to the sink or to not be able to get off of the couch,” she said to me.

It was a statement of fact without judgment. She spoke the truth about my deconditioned physical state. I signed on to work with her once a week in personal training. I had no idea what or why I was doing this. I did know that if I was going to be in pain, I’d prefer to feel the pain of recovery instead of the pain of decline. Janine held enough faith for both of us that I could come out of my leg brace and have a good quality of life despite the diagnosis and prognosis I received.

Janine’s mantra for our work together was a quote from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!”

At my six-month evaluation in February, I made dramatic improvements in every area of the assessment. I had come out of my leg brace. I knew I was on a healing path.

“Let’s write down your goals for the next six months,” Janine said feeling proud and satisfied with my progress.

“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”

Janine feverishly wrote down my goals, and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Did you ever have one of those moments when words fell out of your mouth after rising up from the depths of your soul without going through any thought process?

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house, set down her things and without missing a beat said, “Well the first thing you are going to need is a pair of running shoes.”

"I did know that if I was going to be in pain, I’d prefer to feel the pain of recovery instead of the pain of decline."



I chose a path of pain, discipline and courage venturing into the unknown and doing so against medical advice. I was admonished with "If you use it, you will lose it" based on an outdated belief that the body cannot regenerate nerves and muscles.

After I ran the Boston Marathon in 2009, I was once again told I needed to not run anymore. Fortunately, as chance would have it, I met another wonderful physical therapist who told me I needed to take a break from running and helped me heal from the rigors of marathon training. I chose to return to the sport I had come to love and that was my medicine to heal the once devastating effects of paralytic polio and severe childhood trauma.

On July 4, 2010, I ran the Inaugural Harvard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 10K.

Fast forward to December 2014 when I suffered a very serious knee injury that the physiatrist, physical therapists, aquatics therapist and anyone who was not a runner in my circle said would be the end of my running days.

From 'The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953':
I went on line to get my MRI results before my appointment with Dr. Rosenberg in early January of 2015. The report indicated that I did indeed have a very badly torn meniscus and degenerative joint changes, bone spurs, a fatty lipoma, joint changes from multiple surgeries and fatty infiltrates into the left medial gastroc muscle as a result of denervation. That didn’t sound good but I know how appearances can and are deceiving. I remembered how I dissolved a breast tumor and rewired my entire body through the power of visualization. I transcended my past. I transformed from a survivor of paralytic polio to a woman who goes the distance on the roads and in my life.

Tom came with me for me follow up appointment. I didn’t betray to Dr. Rosenberg that I had already read my report. I listened as he told me the findings.

“Well we already knew you had an atrophied gastroc muscle from the polio. There’s nothing you can do about that. There is not enough cartilage to repair if you have arthroscopic surgery. I can tell you in all likelihood you are going to need a total knee replacement in a few years. You know my thoughts about running. I think you know my recommendation Mary. You really shouldn’t be running but if you are going to run please cap your distance. No more than a 5K. I am going to give you a prescription for physical therapy. I’d like to also highly recommend that you please come back to the Post-Polio clinic for a new evaluation. You know it’s only a matter of time before things start to progress again. Don’t overdo it!”

As I left the clinic with my prescription in hand, I watched myself making a follow up appointment for a re-evaluation with “the team.” I wasn’t sure that’s what I really needed.

As chance would have it, I had a physical therapist from hell BUT a chiropractor healer, Dr. Ryan J. Means was put in my path. I chose to partner with him, determined to get back on the roads.

On July 3, 2015, I had my comeback race: The Harvard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 5K.

By chance, I met the Race Director for Bermuda Marathon Weekend.

I chose to once again defy a diagnosis and prognosis and go against medical advice, going with Divine Guidance and went on to run 3 Consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons.

I could have chosen to stop racing at the finish line of the 2018 Bermuda Half Marathon but this February, there was a stirring in my soul.

On July 3rd, I experienced all the magic that is Finish at the 50:



I crossed another finish line 12 and a half years after being told I "had" a progressive neuromuscular disease and should plan to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

I smiled as I looked down at this year's Finish at the 50 race shirt that I wore to the beach this weekend:


2010-2019 ... a lot of choices and a lot of "chance" happenings that led me to exactly where I'm supposed to be inspiring others with my message of healing, hope and possibility!

Now that's something to celebrate!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Finish at the 50 Race Report - Part 2 - Pre-Gaming and Post-Race

...the same can be said for running. Since February, I put in all of the training to prepare for the 2019 Harvard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 5K. We trained on Heartbreak Hill. I did speed work around the Reservoir and along the coast in South Boston. I did strength training and cross training and worked with Dr. Lizzie in weekly chiropractic treatment sessions.

But the most important part of my training was the mental preparation leading up to gun time.

As a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma, I needed to repeatedly remind myself that I could trust in my body's tremendous capacity to heal and meet the demands of challenges. As different sensations arose especially in my right knee, I took myself back to how I recovered after a serious knee injury in December of 2014 to go on and run the 2015 Finish at the 50 5K.

I had to sweep aside the caregiver stress and focus on myself giving myself permission to embrace myself as a runner and to experience the joy and celebration that is a part of Finish at the 50.

From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
You may notice my pattern of pre-race panic and the need to email the Race Director to calm my pre-race jitters.

Here is the email exchange between Dave McGillivray and myself beginning on June 29 and concluding after the race:

Mary: Hi Dave…So in setting goals not limits, Friday is my comeback race and I’ve been training for a PR. I’m getting butterflies and just wanted to make sure the course is well marked for those of us who run a 14-15 minute/mile pace. We went out to Gillette yesterday for final mental preparation, and have trained on Heartbreak so I am ready but just need to make sure that there will either be course monitors or signs to direct us. File this under taper madness! Thank you Dave!

Dave: There will be! I’ll probably be running right behind you, too! Good luck! Dave

Mary: That's for the 5K. And I couldn't follow the course map on line. You just made my day Dave - you rock! Thank you -- it's going to be a great day and no rain :)

Dave: Oh, you are doing the 5K…I’m doing the 10K! The 5K goes in the stadium and up and down the ramps!

Mary: I know. It was a little confusing but it will be marked or there will be course monitors right?

Dave: Very confusing on a map because most of it is in the building. It will be marked, etc. I did it last year…no problems!

Mary: THANK YOUUUU! See you Friday. Can't wait ... you are awesome you know that right?

Dave: Don’t tell me, tell my wife and kids!!!

Mary: You can forward the email to them :)

Mary: As you promised it was an amazing day. Congrats on your great finish. (Dave pushed Rick Hoyt in his chair for the 10K). I manifested something far greater than a PR although I was within 27 seconds... It was a magical day. Thank you so much for allaying my fears before the race to clear the way for me to experience every moment of a very special day!

Until our paths cross again I'll be setting goals not limits - as in the Bermuda Half Marathon!

Dave: Congratulations Mary! Told you that you wouldn’t get lost!!!! Ha.

I had emailed Dave before registering for the 2019 race asking if there was a time limit.

I don’t recall us ever imposing a time limit so I think you will be good. I do think a number of folks actually walk it just so they can say they were on the field!!

When I saw the course map that was changed a month or so before the race, I told myself I was not going to email him again. Tom and I tried to decipher the map but it wasn't possible so we decided that we would just trust the course would be marked and we would be fine. We have never gotten lost at a race and now was not going to be the first time!

I kept calming my pre-race jitters in the week before the race reminding myself that taper time would serve me well on race day. Meditation using the soundtrack from Heal Documentary was a twice daily occurrence.

The evening before race day we went out for dinner at Legal Seafood. Char, baked potato and spinach were the perfect pre-game meal. We enjoyed unwinding with an episode of Psych and slept in on race day.

I felt my pre-race jitters kick into high gear but listened to the birds singing. Tom and I did a long morning meditation. We ate a leisurely breakfast in our yard and Tom got to work taping my knees:


We allowed ourselves plenty of time to get to Gillette Stadium and arrived about 20 minutes before bib pick up.

The line had already formed for bib pick up and we chatted with runners while we waited in line trying to distract ourselves from the searing heat:


The person who gave us our bibs had a message for me on the back of my bib:


My pre-race jitters were transformed into joy and excitement.

We enjoyed a healthy, leisurely pre-race lunch at Red Robin, walked around to soak up the pre-race excitement, had our photos taken with our bibs:


and with a Minion:


As we had in 2015, we turned the air conditioner on high in the car and set our meditation timer for 40 minutes. I did a full body scan meditation, listened to my breath and filled myself with positive self-talk and gratitude.

We had a luna bar and more hydration before heading to the start.

I had total trust that we were going to have a great race experience which we did. All of the training and mental preparation as well as setting powerful intentions created a magical and mystical race day experience which is recapped in Part 1 of my Race Report.

I was nauseous, sweaty yet exhilarated and in awe of the entire race experience.

We had 8:00pm dinner reservations at Skipjack's. I had forgotten how phenomenal and electric a post race atmosphere can be --- especially when it coincides with July 4th! Walking around Patriot Place with runners wearing their bling, live music blaring and the anticipation of Fireworks reminded me why I love to run and why I love Finish at the 50!

All of the mental and physical preparation along with managing the pre-race jitters was well worth experiencing those magical moments.

I savored our post-race meal especially sparkling water with lemon and those warm Skipjack rolls although I had to take most of it home.

We couldn't decide what to do before the fireworks display and in those moments of indecision were treated to a "chance" encounter with our race buddies and new running friends!

We changed into dry clothes and as we closed the car doors, heard the first burst of fireworks.



It was a spectacular show!



What a celebration of freedom! I felt my personal celebration of freedom from limited thinking, transforming and transcending limits offered by the medical community and freedom from external circumstances to experience joy, love and well-being!

Let freedom ring!

To be continued....

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Finish at the 50 Race Report: Part I - Signs and Synchronicity

In my Countdown to Finish at the 50 blog the day before the race, I wrote:

I am thinking about how much fun Tom and I are going to have together finding our way around the new course and pretending, as we often do in a race where we don't know the course, that we are part of The Amazing Race.

I am thinking tomorrow is going to be filled with sweet surprises and serendipity as I allow the Universe to weave its magic.

I am thinking how I am going to enjoy every moment while anticipating crossing that finish line of a race I haven't run in 4 years celebrating my freedom from the past and independence from circumstances that once claimed a terrible toll on me mind, body and soul.

As we sat in Gillette Stadium waiting to get to the start of the 2019 Harvard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 5K, a Facebook friend who I had not yet met in person came up to us. "Team Big Heart!" Nicole exclaimed with a broad smile. "Have you seen Scott yet?" We introduced ourselves and just as she looked around, Scott was going to pick up his bib to run the 10K. She followed him into the building and we gathered for a Team Big Heart photo:



Scott presented her son Caleb with a Team Big Heart shirt. Caleb has been the recipient of a Martial Arts Scholarship from The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation and now wants to run for them and raise money for the Foundation! It was his first 5K. We found each other without technology!

While Tom and I were taking our pre-race selfie at the start with another runner friend, we heard, "I'm not in the pictcha." I thought it was some random runner teasing us about our selfie. "I'm not in the pictcha," he said even louder exaggerating his Boston accent. "Well then get in the pictcha" I said out loud.

Tom finally turned to see who was saying this and it was none other than Dave McGillivray! He had over 3000 runners to attend to with his team from DMSE yet here he was greeting us at the starting line with his son Luke. Dave ran the Boston Marathon for Team Big Heart and has a very special place in his heart for Jack and the Middlemiss family.



He thanked us for running and said he'd see us later.

While waiting at the start, we saw this sign:


I was getting pre-race butterflies when I hear, "Excuse me. I work at Boston Childrens Hospital in the cardiac cath lab."

We turned around and shared our connection to the Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation.

"I'm getting goosebumps," Linda Dumont said to me.

"Me too...all over."

Linda is the surgical coordinator for the cardiac catheterization lab where Jack goes for his post-transplant procedure to make sure his heart is working well. She knows, as so many people do, the story of Joseph, Kate, Scott, Jack and Grace.

The Star Spangled Banner was sung and the runners were off! We were at the back of the pack and watched the stream of runners ahead of us pour out of the Stadium. The New England Patriots Cheerleaders were there as we hit the start mat.

We descended the ramps and there was Sheryl with her Canadian crutches taking on the Finish at the 50 four years later. You can read about our 2015 Finish at the 50 by following this link.

"Stay with me Mary and keep a steady pace," Tom said.

We found ourselves next to Linda and her sister Rachel as we followed the course around the parking lot. We shared stories of health and wellness journeys. At the first water stop which was beyond mile 1, I said that I was going to slow down at the water stop. They went ahead of us.

I allowed Tom to pace me and given the heat, I knew better than to push my pace. My goals were to have fun and finish!

As we entered the stadium, we began our ascent of the ramps.

"Are you from Dracut?" a woman asked us.

She noticed our Team Big Heart shirts.

"No" and we went on to tell her about our connection to the Middlemiss Family.

She knew all about the Middlemiss Family and the Foundation and has attended their ScoopFest! She missed it this year because her son, 7 years old, was inpatient at Childrens. He was born prematurely and Erin shared with us how she supports and advocates for and with parents who are going through experiencing premature babies!

She told us that she sent her husband ahead to run his own race but was struggling in the heat.

"I didn't know how I was going to do this but I looked up and saw Jack and Joe."

More goosebumps!

We stayed together and she suggested at different points we go ahead of her but we'd always wait for her. I knew we were going to finish together. The ramps combined with the heat made for a very challenging time but together we cheered each other on sharing labor and delivery stories, my journey back from Post Polio and trauma and my knee injury in 2014 and of course the Middlemiss Family. Tom made sure we took breaks if I didn't initiate them and also stopped to take photos:



What a relief to finally descend the ramps:


As we exited the Stadium, we saw the 10K runners at the start of their race. Scott gave us a high five and Erin's friends cheered her on!

The excitement began to build as we knew the finish line was close!

Tom took this video to capture our triumphant finish:


I was so impressed that the announcer was acknowledging the back of the pack runners as finishing strong...and we certainly were!

Erin said she couldn't thank us enough for being there to support her. I told her what a gift and a blessing she gave to us. I told her that I tend to get competitive with myself and not listen to what my body needs. Being able to be there with her allowed me to run a safe and happy race basking in the glow of signs and synchronicity.

She was embraced by her husband and friends who had run the 5K and we parted ways as we got our bling.



Tom and I had dinner at Skipjacks.

We were debating what to do before the Fireworks display and were walking back and forth before finally deciding to go to our car and get changed into dry t shirts.

We walked into the space to get the Elevator and there were Linda and her sister again. We chatted about the race and in walks Erin with her entourage. "I was just talking about you to my husband..." We exchanged last names and became Facebook friends....



To be continued...

Let freedom ring!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.