Boston Marathon Memory Musings

Monday marks the 11th anniversary of my journey from Hopkinton to Boston with my husband and daughter by my side. It began on a dark, cold day in February of 2007, two months after receiving the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease. I faced a grim future according to Western Medicine; a future in which I would experience an accelerated decline as the years went by possibly needing a feeding tube and needing to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I was told I needed to quit my award winning career as a VA social worker just 3 years shy of when I was eligible for retirement by my age and time in service. I went back into a toe up leg brace, used a cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility.


I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. The poem, 'Running the Race' poured out of me followed by many many many poems in which I imagined myself feeling healthy, whole and running free although I had never run a day in my life. While writing poetry harnessing the power of the mind/body connection through the power of my imagination, I was working with Allison Lamarre-Poole, a physical therapist (now in private practice) at Spaulding Rehab Hospital. She made it abundantly clear to me that I could and would get stronger and was NOT destined to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I worked with her for 6 months three times a week while preparing to leave the VA. She inspired me to take that leap of faith and heal my life.

I was blessed to meet a personal trainer, Janine Hightower, in October of 2007. When I asked her if she thought we could build on the program that Allison prescribed for me, she shared this Henry Ford quote with me:


After only 6 months of working with her and just beginning to come out of my leg brace, we had the following conversation from "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

At my six-month evaluation in February, I made dramatic improvements in every area of the assessment. I had come out of my leg brace. I knew I was on a healing path.

“Let’s write down your goals for the next six months,” Janine said feeling proud and satisfied with my progress.

“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”

Janine feverishly wrote down my goals, and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Did you ever have one of those moments when words fell out of your mouth after rising up from the depths of your soul without going through any thought process?

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house, set down her things and without missing a beat said, “Well the first thing you are going to need is a pair of running shoes.”

And so it came to pass on April 20, 2009, the 113th running of the Boston Marathon. I experienced the adventure of a lifetime while out on the course for 7 hours and 49 minutes. I was blessed to have Johannes Hirn, a graduate photojournalism student at Boston University take exquisite photos of us from start to finish.

Here are a few of my favorite moments...

At the start in Hopkinton:



Team photo with Spaulding's Race for Rehab... Team McManus raised over $10,000 for Spaulding!


Friendships forged for a lifetime!

Here is Team McManus coming down Boylston Street while Ruth Anne encourages the spectators to cheer us on to the finish:


It was a moment I visualized time and time again during our training runs and during my meditations but I could not possibly imagine what it would feel like to experience the joy, love and compassion of a finish line volunteer as he took off the chip on my shoe helping me keep my balance:


crying as I told him the Twitter version of my story and what it would feel like to have him place the coveted Boston Marathon medal around my neck:


My Facebook feed is filled with Boston Marathon memories. There's a sense of longing and sadness that Monday will not be the running of the 124th Boston Marathon. We are a community that is Boston Strong and we will rise and run again on September 14th. It will be an epic experience for runners and spectators alike but for now I will continue to relish and share my Boston Marathon memories from April 20 of 2009.

Ode to Marathon Training from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Blisters, black toes, aches and pains, a change in my routine
Long training runs, the hills, the sprints running clothes fresh and clean.
Carbo load and plan each meal power gels and gatorade
no matter what the weather no time to be afraid.
Humid - hot or freezing cold snow against the face
wind or sun or raining those running shoes I must lace.
What mile is this how long we been out check heart rate drink H20
meltdowns joys and triumphs only a few more weeks to go.
Heartbreak Hill won't break my heart this year has been the best
found myself and made new friends I feel incredibly blessed.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website to learn more about my inspirational journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and beyond!

My books are available on Amazon.

A Master Magician..A True Healer

I came across this post yesterday on Facebook. Dr. El Abd and Dr. Gomba were cited as Boston Magazine's Top Doctors for 2020.



They are the doctors at Newton Wellesley Interventional Spine.

In January of 2007, I was referred to Dr. El Abd after having had an MRI of my cervical spine as part of my evaluation at Spaulding Rehab's International Center for Polio and Post Polio.

Thirteen years later, I feel the heart imprint that this healer left from my first appointment with him.

From "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

In January of 2007, I told my team at work the diagnosis. I had a team meeting at Spaulding Rehab with each of my therapists. Multidisciplinary team communication and coordination of care is a hallmark feature of the post polio clinic to ensure that the whole patient is being cared for. One of the nurse practitioners at the VA thought that I had Parkinson’s Disease because of my tremors. She was relieved that it was nothing more serious than post polio syndrome. I told my nurse manager that I would have to use a lot of leave time for my therapy appointments. It was extremely painful for me to give up the time with my patients when I would bring them to different clinic stops, but it was becoming much less about the patients and more about me. If I couldn’t take care of myself, how did I expect to care for my patients and their families?

“I have the results of your MRI,” the voicemail message from Dr. Rosenberg began.

I felt the familiar feeling of my stomach dropping as though we had dropped altitude in an airplane; tremors and trembling took hold. I closed the door to my office on the second floor of the Department of Veterans Affairs Outpatient Clinic. As he rambled off the results I tried to slow my heart rate and my brain to understand what he was saying. He told me I needed to schedule a consultation with Dr. El Abd at the Newton Wellesley Hospital Spine Center.

“I believe a trigger injection will bring you some relief.”

I let the word sink in. Relief. There was something that could bring me relief from this pain and suffering? I wondered….


“This is a slam dunk,” Dr. Omar El Abd the incredibly handsome Egyptian doctor told me as he reviewed my MRI results with me.

“Let me explain to you what I’m going to do. You have a bulging disc pressing on your nerve at C-6 in your cervical spine. This is what is causing the pain down your arm, the tingling in your face and those throbbing sensations in your gums and teeth. We do what is called a trigger injection. First we inject numbing medication, which will bring you instant relief. We follow up with injecting steroids, which will
decrease the inflammation and bring you longer lasting relief.”

The thought of having a needle stuck in my cervical spine did not appeal to me but I knew that I had to try something!

“How long have you had this pain?”

“Oh at least ten years,” I answered.

“Why so long? Why didn’t you tell anyone about it?” Dr. El Abd asked horrified that I would allow myself to suffer for so long.

Good question I thought to myself.

From that day forward, he became my Master Magician!

After a few injections that brought incredible relief, he referred me to Allison Poole, an earth angel of a physical therapist at the old Spaulding Rehab Hospital in downtown Boston closer than Spaulding Framingham to the VA Clinic. She believed that I was NOT destined to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and helped me take those first tentative steps back to life and back to healing the breach in my mind/body connection.

After I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon, cervical spine symptoms returned and so I returned to Dr. El Abd. I had done a lot of work with healing the effects of paralytic polio and trauma and transforming my life through the power of the mind/body connection using visualization and guided imagery. Rather than chastise me for going against the advice of the staff at the Post Polio Clinic, he congratulated me on my epic accomplishment citing that he totally understood why I needed to challenge myself.

After my 2nd injection, I asked him to please show me what I needed to heal in my cervical spine using a model so I would no longer need follow up injections. As I sat in the recovery room, he brought out a model of the spine explaining in detail what I needed to heal and we discussed imagery that would be helpful in this process. Eleven years later I am free from cervical spine pain and symptoms, and did not have a trigger injection since that day!

He referred me for physical therapy with a wonderful no nonsense PT who told me that if I were going to get back on the roads, I needed to take time off. We did what I'd call an extreme makeover Post Polio edition addressing posture, gait, core strength and ways to cross train.

The next summer I was back on the roads better than ever!

If you or someone you love is experiencing spine issues, and you live in the greater Boston area, be sure to head to Dr. El Abd who is THE top doc for healing in my book.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

She ran like it was midnight...And she ran happily ever after!

While growing up trying to recover from the ravages of paralytic polio and enduring years of abuse at the hands of family members, I harnessed the power of my imagination to see a future different from the hell I was living in. When I wasn't honing my intellectual prowess to immerse myself in school work, I watched TV. I had superpowers like Batman and could fold my arms and blink or twitch my nose to transport myself to another world following the lead of I Dream of Jeannie and Bewitched. I never fancied myself a princess and since I had contracted paralytic polio at the age of 5 could never wear high heels or going to the ball kind of glass slipper shoes.

Dissociating from my body helped me to survive those growing up years but by the time I got to mid-life, my lack of connection to my body and lack of self-care led to a mind/body/soul crisis. I was given the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease in December of 2006 (for those of you who are not regular readers of my blog).

I reconnected to the Divine, rekindling my deep connection to Source that I was blessed to experience at an early age, and Divine Guidance flowed through the power of my pen which became my Divining rod for healing. I started writing poetry!

As an aside, here's the back story to my theory of why poetry and why poetry in the cadence of Dr. Seuss emerged from my Being after the diagnosis. From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

Miss Holly sat next to me in the waiting room and asked me to choose a Dr. Seuss book from the array of Dr. Seuss books spread out on the round coffee table next to my chair. My legs were outstretched; my left leg bore the hip to ankle metal leg brace inserted into my red polio shoes. My crutches were propped against the wall behind me. She read Dr. Seuss to me in the waiting room, led me into the treatment room and removed my leg brace. She placed heavy hot wool blankets on my legs. To this day I cannot bear to wear anything that is made of wool. As she coaxed my muscles and nerves back to health, she recited the first line from the Dr. Seuss book I had chosen (invariably “The Cat in the Hat”).

“The sun did not shine it was too wet to play…now it’s your turn.”

“So we sat in the house all that cold cold wet day.”

“I sat there with Sally….we sat there we two…your turn.”

“And I said how I wish we had something to do…”

We would recite in tandem throughout the treatment. She was a physical therapist ahead of her time. I often wonder what inspired her to use the rhythm of the poetry to distract me from the painful treatments. She tenderly put my leg brace back on after she finished the treatment. She commended me on my courage as she wrapped her hand around my hand on my crutch, and led me into Dr. Moskowitz’s office. He evaluated my progress, monitored me for scoliosis and gave me exercises to do at home. Picking up marbles with my toes was excruciatingly painful and difficult but even at my tender age, I loved the challenge of it all.

The first poem I wrote was called "Running the Race" from "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":
And then I felt a stirring in my second chakra (only then I didn’t know it was my second chakra – I thought it might have been something I ate). I went over to my laptop in the corner of the living room and I wrote this poem:

Running the Race
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.
Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone
and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.
Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist,
curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes
the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse
with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.
Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else
and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-
trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team
and they were on my side.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

I sobbed to write those words. I had never spoken about polio or the abuse I endured. I became curious. Why am I writing about winning a 10K race?

That was a VERY good question!

It foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run. Poetry poured out of me inspiring mind, body and soul to heal as I imagined myself running unencumbered and free.

These past 12+ years since I left behind my award winning career as a VA social worker to go on a quest to heal my life have been filled with trials and tribulations but so many more triumphs and running adventures!

After crossing the finish line of the 2019 Harvard Pilgrim Finish at the 50 5K, and seeing the View from the Top, I plan to run happily ever after!



The journey of transformation:


From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

I remember when.....

I take nothing for granted! I am grateful for the gifts of the challenges in my life because I have a deep sense of appreciation for my health and well being. When I was 5 years old I collapsed in kindergarten gym class without warning. It took years to learn how to walk again.

I was a stranger to athletics and had the nickname "Easy Out Alper."

I remember when.... from "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

The buzzing hum from the fluorescent lights echoed the buzzing in my nervous system. I sat waiting for my first appointment at the Post-Polio Clinic at the International Rehab Center for Polio and Post-Polio. My complexion was as white as the paper that covered the exam table. I felt as fragile and vulnerable as that piece of paper that gets ripped off and tossed away after each exam. Every inch of my body hurt. I was exhausted. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I hadn’t cared whether or not I woke up in the morning. My husband and twins needed me. Ironically, I was at the peak of my career as a social worker. I couldn’t sleep. I felt depressed. My award-winning career as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs no longer fueled my soul. Somewhere deep inside of me I felt there had to be a way out of the hell I was living in.

The symptoms began in 1996 with fatigue and burning muscles. I was anxious. At times, I noticed the limp from paralytic polio returned. In 1992 I had reconstructive leg surgery to correct the deformity of my left leg and to avoid a total knee replacement at the young age of 39 years old. I felt as though my body was deteriorating and my life was falling apart. In 2004 I told my primary care physician I was afraid there was something seriously wrong with me. I suggested the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome.

I had to hug the bannister to climb the stairs from the first floor to the second floor of our house. The Post-Polio Team suggested we either move or plan to have our house renovated. I had to do a chin tuck and dry swallow to avoid having food go into my lungs instead of my stomach and had to drink liquids through a straw. We used PeaPod to deliver our groceries because I was too tired to grocery shop. I wore a toe up leg brace:



used a cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility and was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

I remember when my beloved physical therapist, Allison Lamarre-Poole helped me to take those first tentative, painful steps on my healing journey.
“Take a deep breath and lift your hips,” Allison cued as I lay on the physical therapy table.

“Now slowly lower down vertebrae by vertebrae. I want you to really concentrate on making that connection to your spinal column. Can you feel it? Move slowly. How does it feel?”

I lost my connection to my body after collapsing from paralytic polio. I had to dissociate from my body to survive years of abuse and torture. It was a strange experience to reconnect with my body, yet one that I hungered for. I wanted to find my way home and Allison was my first tour guide as she provided the map I needed to reconnect with myself.

The first day I walked into the outpatient gym and saw all of the equipment and machines I thought to myself, “I’m going to be able to do this. I can get stronger. I know it’s not going to be easy. I know it’s going to take time and I have to be extremely patient with myself.”

I wanted to feel better and I wanted to feel whole. Three times a week we worked together using Pilates, isometrics, weight training and cardio-vascular exercise to bring my body out of its withered state.

I remember when Allison discharged me outpatient physical therapy. "You don't ever want to go back to where you were do you?" I passionately answered, "No I don't!"

Shortly after being discharged from outpatient PT, I hired a personal trainer. I remember when I couldn't pass the fitness assessment. I remember when I began to make remarkable improvement in strength. I remember when I was able to get off of the couch or low toilet seat without a person helping me to get up. I remember when, after 6 months, I was able pass the fitness assessment and set new goals for myself. I remember when I declared I would run the 2009 Boston Marathon and I remember when my heart rate soared to over 160 when I first went outside to teach my body how to run.

I remember when Janine hugged me at the finish line of the Boston Marathon with my son Autumn by my side:


I remember when the BAA volunteer placed the coveted Boston Marathon medal around my neck:


This week was a challenging week to schedule work outs. A snowstorm on Monday meant I couldn't get to the gym so we switched up strength training day for cardio day. Tuesday is usually a pool day but because I had to get home for the plumber to attend to a leaking spigot on the outside of our house, I did a cardio workout which takes less time than a pool workout. The plumber couldn't make it on Tuesday afternoon and rescheduled for Wednesday morning. I got to the pool mid-afternoon and, despite the change in schedule and needing to make sure I picked up Tom at work, I made sure that I did my full hour of swimming and strength training in the pool.

Every time I have even a whisper of skipping a work out and breaking my 5 day training cycle streak, I make sure to keep that streak alive because I remember when I could not do the things I can do today. I am blessed to inspire others with my persistence, discipline, consistency and motivation to continue to move forward in my health and wellness journey. When people look at me and see my dedication to health and fitness, they realize they have no excuses!

To your health and wellness,
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link.

My books are available on Amazon.



“The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” takes you on Mary McManus’ healing odyssey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December 2006, Mary got still and asked for Divine Guidance tapping into the powerful connection she experienced to the Divine from an early age. She harnessed the power of her mind to heal her body, feverishly writing poetry in which she imagined herself healthy, whole and free from the shackles of her youth. Mary’s quest to heal her life led her to the sport of running. Her story is one that will leave you cheering for the underdog, discovering the meaning of different ability and experiencing the stunning view from the back of the pack of a race. You will have the privilege of bearing witness to how Mary overcame every challenge that life presented to her. The sport of running provides the backdrop for her journey of transformation from a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of family members to a woman who embodies faith, grace under fire, courage, determination, endurance and resilience. Running became a way of life for Mary that tested her mettle while forging friendships to last a lifetime. As you’ll discover in “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” nothing, not even a serious knee injury in December of 2014 could stop her on the roads or in her life.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):


My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.