A Leap of Faith

I knew it was time to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker after receiving the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006. I was terrified to set "the date" for when I would take a leap of faith and move into a new chapter of my life. Shortly after the diagnosis of what doctors said would be a progressive neuromuscular disease and that I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul. My pen became my divining rod for healing and I knew there would be life after the VA but how could I possibly leave behind an almost six figure salary with great benefits just 3 years shy of when I was eligible for retirement? While I had wondrous imaginings about becoming a New York Times Bestselling author and being on Oprah with my journey of transformation, I was well aware that we had a mortgage and bills to pay.

I originally set the date for October of 2007 but in April, I went for a routine mammogram.

From 'Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility':
In April I went for a routine mammogram. I spoke to the Universe, “I know that I cannot have an abnormal mammogram right now because I have enough on my plate.” I was all too aware of my risk for breast cancer given that my mother, her mother and my father’s sister all had breast cancer. My father’s sister died from breast cancer. “This is not going to happen to me,” I vowed.

The red light was blinking on my office phone indicating I had a voicemail message.

“Hello this message is for Mary McManus. It’s the Breast Center at Mass. General Hospital. Please call us at your earliest convenience.”

“Oh no – this isn’t happening, “ I thought to myself.

I felt the all too familiar clutch in my stomach and my sympathetic nervous system went into high gear. As a trauma survivor, I would vacillate between states of exhaustion and states of high alert. Years later I would learn from Peter A. Levine in his book, “In An Unspoken Voice: How the Body Releases Trauma and Restores Goodness” that I was unable to regulate going from my sympathetic nervous system responsible for fight/flight and the parasympathetic nervous system which helps the body to return to a state of equanimity and calm.

With hands trembling, I dialed Mass. General. Even though Allison had taught me about breathing and the importance of taking deep breaths, my breaths were shallow. My hands sweaty. I had no control over what was happening to me.

“Hi. This is Mary McManus I received a call from your office.”
“One moment please – I’ll transfer you.”

“Hello is this Mrs. McManus?” a polite voice on the other end of the line asked me.

“Um yes well it seems that there is an abnormality on your mammogram. It looks like you have a mass of some kind. We need you to come in next week for a repeat mammogram.”

Okay Universe. What are you trying to tell me here? I examined my left breast and sure enough, I could feel a mass. I remembered the power of visualization from Bernie Siegel’s work and I figured I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by harnessing the power of visualization. I was on a mission – to heal whatever was going on in my left breast.

A week later I received the all clear. The mass disappeared. My 19 year old daughter said, "Okay mom. How much notice do you have to give at the VA? or are you going to wait for something else to happen?"

She was right! We circled May 25th on the calendar and the next day I gave my notice to my Nurse Manager, my Social Work Supervisor and the Chief of Social Work. At first my Nurse Manager was extremely supportive of me but the next day she told me that I couldn't possibly be serious about just leaving my career behind. She suggested that I work part time and really take time to think over my decision. I had already begun to clean out of my office and she was shocked to see the steps I had already taken to leave. She did not know that I was keeping a journal in which I imagined my life after the VA, that I had started "New World Greeting Cards", original poetry for every occasion and that I was getting ready to self publish my book of poetry.

"What if your husband gets laid off from his new job at Children's? You know how finicky the technology industry has been of late. And what about health insurance?"

I calmly told her my husband would carry the health insurance and there was a law recently passed that children could be covered until the age of 22 if they were in school.

Okay so maybe I did not calmly tell her these things. I was terrified but that's why it's called a leap of faith!

I withdrew my entire retirement account and took the penalty for early withdrawal. It was my seed money for my new venture and an investment in my future. As I told people, I was leaving the VA to heal my life only at the time I had no idea what that meant.

I was discharged from Outpatient Therapy at Spaulding Rehab the day before I was leaving the VA after almost 20 years of service. My physical therapist was leaving Spaulding to become a traveling PT. We hugged and we cried after our almost 6 month journey together of my reclaiming my life from the effects of childhood paralytic polio and trauma.

In October I hired a personal trainer to see if I could get a little stronger and build on the program from my outpatient therapist.

I could not even pass the initial assessment!

By February I had met my initial health and fitness goals and then...
From 'The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953':

Janine feverishly wrote down my goals, and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Did you ever have one of those moments when words fell out of your mouth after rising up from the depths of your soul without going through any thought process?

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house, set down her things and without missing a beat said, “Well the first thing you are going to need is a pair of running shoes.”

She laid out a cursory training plan and said that we would begin indoors to build up my cardio endurance. As soon as the weather got a little warmer, we’d go outdoors and I would learn how to run.

What had I just done?

I took ANOTHER leap of faith! I had never run a day in my life. I knew nothing about running a marathon let alone the Boston Marathon but I felt a stirring deep in my soul that running the 2009 Boston Marathon was my destiny...and it was.





From 'Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life':
What is so striking to me is that a poem I wrote in 2007 is now manifesting in physical reality. I write about the tremors being healed and having a strong core; creating myself anew and playing my game my rules (to quote Boston Marathon Race Director Dave McGillvray's favorite phrase that I only heard last year). At the time, I had not yet been discharged from Spaulding Rehab's outpatient care. I was told that I would need to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I was by all appearances weak, deconditioned, wearing a leg brace, experiencing chronic fatigue and pain. Tremors were very evident at the time and yet, yet I wrote this poem that talks about the body falling away healed as I prepared to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker:

A Date With Destiny

Don’t wait til you die to let your soul fly free
please listen and hear what happened to me.
My body was broken every imaginable place
yet to the world always a smile on my face.
My soul trapped inside feeling it was broken too
God brought me out of darkness my light I shine on you.
She showed me the way through people I met
it took awhile a message hard to get.

The kingdom of heaven is right inside me
take the leap of faith fulfill destiny.
While I did my soul work and let my soul fly free
my body transformed changes did I see.
My head now aligned the tremor no more
my body aligned such strength in my core.
When once head detached from my heart and my soul
they all work together amazingly whole.
The rules that I live by are my rules alone
I found strength and courage the past now has flown.

I followed my heart to create myself anew
to feel simply Divine despite all I’ve lived through.
Take the leap of faith into grace I can fall
but I’m floating on air answering God’s call
Don’t wait til you die to let your soul fly free
there’s no reason to live a life in misery.
Follow your passions and I will tell you this
the body falls away healed when you follow your bliss.

When destiny called to me, I embraced all of my fears and harnessed the power of my faith and my village to leap into a future filled with health, well being, and wonderful adventures.

What is your date with destiny?

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

Transformation

As I am preparing to be the guest speaker at the 2020 Hyannis Marathon Weekend Pre-Race Pasta Dinner, I am enjoying taking a look back over my 13 year journey from the effects of childhood paralytic polio and trauma. In December of 2006, I received the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I decided I was not going to take the diagnosis sitting down. I surrendered to the Divine for guidance and discovered the gift of poetry in my soul. My first poem, "Running the Race" foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run and unleashed my imagination through the power of my pen to set me on a path of transformation.

At the time I was walking my path unaware that I was on a journey of transformation that would inspire others with a powerful message of healing, hope and possibility.

After I declared that I would run the 2009 Boston Marathon in February of 2008, I had unwavering faith that I would accomplish my goal. The sport of running whittled away at my brittle exterior of having been a stranger to athletics, lugging around my body through life as once I lugged around an ankle to hip leg brace, until the person I was always meant to be emerged. I left more and more of my past behind with every mile I ran and every finish line I crossed.

This Channel 7 News Piece encapsulates my journey of transformation:



From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":
"We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate. Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, our potential is limitless." ~Christopher Reeve

"Our running shoes are really erasers. Every step erases some past failure. Every mile brings us closer to a clean slate. Each foot strike rubs away a word, a look, or an event which led us to believe that success was beyond our grasp." ~John Bingham


The Thoroughbred

A dark horse
dark past
finishing last
ready to quit
battered and bruised
a foal fouled
yet Spirit unbroken
a thoroughbred deep inside
despite appearances
all she needed was a chance
someone to believe in her
a horse whisperer
in the mist
amidst fog and foliage
she runs
breaking free
transformed
into the champion she was always meant to be.

May you find the champion within you and find the strength and courage to experience transformation when you find yourself at a crossroads in your life.

May my story inspire you to know what's possible despite any appearances to the contrary.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

Being Born Again

The sport of running helped me to transform from a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma to a confident, determined woman defying the odds of the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.

During the past several months, with the stress of caring for Ruth Anne and supporting her in recovery from PANDAS along with the cumulative stress from the past 3 years, I'd been experiencing mild neuromuscular symptoms. At first it was disheartening to experience the symptoms after so many years since the diagnosis in December of 2006 but I knew it was related to stress.

I reminded myself of how much I have healed in my life through the power of the mind/body connection and rededicated myself to my health and wellness journey.

I imbued myself with positivity, increased my meditation and the focus of my meditation, focused on the power of chiropractic, removed myself from certain Facebook groups and friends that turned out to be an energy drain and joined/connected with others that uplift me.

I decided to rekindle my love affair with running.

Running 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons in 2016, 2017 and 2018 took quite the toll on my body. I decided that I would only run the 5K distance. I did several races last year at the 5K distance. August through December was dedicated to caring for Ruth Anne.

As Tom and Ruth Anne trained for the 10K distance, I was inspired to increase my distance.

I was running 4 miles consistently on Heartbreak Hill.

Last Saturday, my 4 mile run turned into a 5.22 mile run because I dropped my phone.

Magic happens to me when I go out for a run especially when I feel that inspiration to push beyond what I once thought were limits.



While in my quiet moments I can feel a whisper of fear bubble up inside of me concerned about the physical symptoms that sometime come to the fore, when I am out on the roads, those fears melt away.

I feel my connection to the Source of all that is and am reminded of Dr. Joe Dispenza's phrase, 'The power that made the body heals the body.'

I hear the voice of Michael Bernard Beckwith from the Heal Documentary Soundtrack, 'You can heal anything. Breathe into that.'


I pass runners and we smile knowing the power of the sport. There are no strangers as we are all being born again.



Moving beyond the 5K distance, I feel a deep stirring in my soul reminding me that I am not my diagnosis and that running is my medicine and therapy nourishing me mind, body and soul.



Running 5.22 miles on Saturday reminded me of what my body is capable of doing and that despite a recent resurgence of symptoms, I am healed from the effects of childhood paralytic polio and trauma.

With every run, I am being born again transcending all that went before more and more confident of my health and well being.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

Adventures on Heartbreak Hill & The Kindness of Strangers

On Saturday mornings Team McManus huddles and decides where they are going to run and for what distance. A mild snowfall was followed by thawing. We knew the Reservoir would be a soupy mess. Tom and Ruth Anne were just coming off of their Bermuda 10K run and we decided on 4 miles staying together at my pace on Heartbreak Hill.

The temperatures were moderate for January and the Newton Hills were alive with runners training for the Boston Marathon.

We parked the car in Newton Center across the street from the Heartbreak Hill Running Company to do an out and back two mile run.

Initially we had an uneventful run reminiscing about our time in Bermuda and getting ready for the Hyannis Marathon Weekend. Tom and Ruth Anne are going to run the 10K. I am going to be the guest speaker at the Pre-Race Pasta Dinner along with Bill Rodgers to share my inspirational journey from being told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

We kept a brisk pace and I unzipped my running jacket as the day warmed up.

I checked my Nike+ as we approached the 2 mile mark. We took a water stop and I twirled around looking forward to the two miles back to the car.

I was inspired to share the talk I plan to give in Hyannis and visualized how it is going to feel to address the crowd.

I've been a part of Hyannis Marathon Weekend since 2009 but this will be the first time I will be on the stage along with Bill Rodgers.

Here are a few of the photos from Camp Hyannis as I affectionately call race weekend from years passed.


I was amazed at how I was able to recall the talking points of my speech from memory and to also recall what quotes I need to remember to add in.

It felt as though we were almost at 3 miles. I reached into my jacket pocket and asked out loud, "Wait. Where's my phone?"

Ruth Anne was tracking our mileage on her GPS and said we were at 2.8 miles; .8 miles from where I last had my phone.

Tom called it to see if perhaps someone had picked it up or I put it in a different pocket.

"What are we going to do?"

Tom suggested he run back to the 2 mile mark to see if he could find it along the way.

Ruth Anne recalled how we lost each other one time running around Jamaica Pond while training for the 2009 Boston Marathon and we decided it would be best to stay together.

From my memoir, "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":
And who could EVER forget us losing each other around - emphasize the word a-round Jamaica Pond. Tom had stopped at the car to fill up the water bottles and get some snacks. He had his iPod on really loud. I was in the zone and ran by him. I saw him looking for me in the opposite direction and yelled to him that I was over here. I felt so great and the weather was wonderful that I did not want to interrupt my rhythm. Finally, my daughter who had been going at her own pace came running up to me - where were you she asked? (well duh, we're going around in a circle) Dad is worried sick about you. He thought that since you had to go to the bathroom (and the bathrooms were not open yet) that you went off the trail and went to pee in the woods). We finally all caught up with one another and laughed so hard.

Tom took off saying, "I'm going to go ahead."

Ruth Anne left her cell phone at home.

Tom handed the car keys to me and suggested we go back to the car but given our history of losing each other and not having a cell phone, we decided we would trail behind him.

There was no sign of my phone or Tom in the distance.

Ruth Anne kept tabs on our distance and when we went past the .8 of a mile, we decided to wait for Tom.

He bounded over the hill and said, "Somebody picked it up and they are leaving it at Comm. Ave and Dartmouth Street. I'll meet you there."

"I kept calling it and calling it and someone finally picked it up. I asked him to wait for me and he said he would but he took off but left the phone on the wall."

Unbeknownst to us, a runner (identified by his being out of breath on voice mail) had found the phone and took the time to call Ruth Anne. Her number was listed on my outgoing call list and the phone had not yet locked after I dropped it or it fell out of my pocket. Later in the evening Ruth Anne checked voice mail and we all listened to try to find a clue as to what kind stranger took the time to let us know he had found the phone and would leave it on the wall at 35 Dartmouth Street at the corner of Comm. Ave and Dartmouth Street. Apparently another person was passing by, heard the phone ringing and answered it.

We realized we were going to do a lot more than a 4 mile run and while Tom and Ruth Anne are trained for a 10K distance, I hadn't run more than 4 miles since we ran the 2018 Bermuda Half Marathon. I had decided that I was going to stay with 5K's but as Tom and Ruth Anne trained for their 10K, I decided that 2020 was going to be my year of Expansion! Fortunately I had done several 4 mile runs. After giving my Hyannis Marathon talk, I inspired myself with what's possible when we harness the power of the mind/body connection as we made our way back to the car.

"Hi there fella," Tom said to what looked like a friendly dog.

The dog leapt at Tom with teeth bared growling. The human said, "There there Oliver. It's okay." The dog settled down and his human said, "Sorry about that. Thanks for saying hello."

"This has been quite the adventure. I almost lost my cell phone and you almost got bitten by a dog."

We were at 5.22 miles when we got to the Johnny Kelley Statue:


Tom looked at the hill looming before us and said that he would run ahead and get the car. He was concerned about me going from 4 miles to 6 miles without adequate training especially with that big hill up ahead.

Right before he took off I remembered he had handed the car keys to me...That would have certainly added to the adventure.

It started drizzling. Since we were only planning for four miles, we only brought 3 water bottles with us but we are marathoners and know how to harness the power of our minds to find comfort in the discomfort.

About ten minutes later my phone rang.

"I'm at the car but my phone battery...."

"The last call he made was to us," I quipped with Ruth Anne.

We were reunited and headed to the New England Soup Factory for refueling to take home where we could warm up and review our adventures on Heartbreak Hill.

We were so grateful for the kindness of strangers who took the time and care to help us reunite with my phone. I hope that somehow the runner who took the time to call Ruth Anne will see my blog and/or my Facebook posts and know how appreciative we are for his kindness.

I was deeply grateful to my body for allowing me to go the distance again knowing that my 2020 goal for reaching the 10K distance is well within reach for 2020.

I am looking forward to many more adventures in running and in life as I embrace all the possibilites that 2020 brings.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

Fearless Friday

I have collected a number of quotes about fear that inspire me as a runnergirl living with a neuromuscular condition as a result of having contracted paralytic polio as a child and endured years of abuse at the hands of family members:





It would have been so easy to get caught in the grips of fear after having been told I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair having been given the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome in December of 2006. At first I was afraid, then angry and then got still and asked for Divine Guidance.

The answer to my prayers came in the form of a poem, "Running the Race". Many poems poured out of me inspiring mind, body and soul to heal through the power of visualization harnessing the power of the mind/body connection. I imagined myself running free, breaking the shackles of my past to create a future very different than the ones the doctors predicted for me. Of course medical professionals mean no harm but often times they instill fear leaving little room for possibilities and the reality that the body has a tremendous innate capacity to heal.

I remember the day like it was yesterday when I declared I was going to run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital where I took those first tentative steps on my healing journey.

From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
Shortly after being discharged from outpatient physical therapy I met Janine Hightower through Herb Simmons. He knew Janine through his participation in the Cardiac Rehab program at Boston Medical Center. I was launching my business New World Greeting Cards, original poetry for every occasion. She was a member of BNI, a professional networking group. As we sat in my living room, she talked about BNI and the benefits of being a member of this networking group. As she talked, I wasn’t focused on growing my business. My mind zeroed in on her sharing with us how she used BNI to promote her in home personal training business.

“You know I’m curious,” I said to Janine. “Do you think you could help me? I was just discharged from Spaulding Rehab.”

I went on to tell her about my journey.

“I don’t know,” she said “but I’d certainly be happy to set up an assessment with you.”

I couldn’t even pass the initial fitness assessment.

“You’re way too young to not be able to get off of the toilet seat without holding on to the sink or to not be able to get off of the couch,” she said to me.

It was a statement of fact without judgment. She spoke the truth about my deconditioned physical state. I signed on to work with her once a week in personal training. I had no idea what or why I was doing this. I did know that if I was going to be in pain, I’d prefer to feel the pain of recovery instead of the pain of decline. Janine held enough faith for both of us that I could come out of my leg brace and have a good quality of life despite the diagnosis and prognosis I received.

Janine’s mantra for our work together was a quote from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!”

At my six-month evaluation in February, I made dramatic improvements in every area of the assessment. I had come out of my leg brace. I knew I was on a healing path.

“Let’s write down your goals for the next six months,” Janine said feeling proud and satisfied with my progress.

“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”

Janine feverishly wrote down my goals, and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Did you ever have one of those moments when words fell out of your mouth after rising up from the depths of your soul without going through any thought process?

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house, set down her things and without missing a beat said, “Well the first thing you are going to need is a pair of running shoes.”

She laid out a cursory training plan and said that we would begin indoors to build up my cardio endurance. As soon as the weather got a little warmer, we’d go outdoors and I would learn how to run.

What had I just done?

I had signed on to do something that scared me yet I knew that I was destined to run the 2009 Boston Marathon.

After crossing the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon, I had to take time off from running but by June of 2010 I was back on the roads. I continued to challenge myself with time and distance. Despite a serious knee injury in December of 2014, and the admonition of my doctor and physical therapists, I refused to stop and give into fear that my body would decline because I was a survivor of paralytic polio. I rejected the belief that I would need a total knee replacement in a few years and declined to return to the Post Polio Clinic for a reevaluation. I know the physiatrist meant well but I chose love over fear and adventure over "playing it safe."

After rehabbing my knee with a healer/chiropractor and intensifying my efforts to heal my life with visualization, meditation, a revamped strength training program and a fiery determination to go the distance again, I trained for an ran 3 consecutive Half Marathons in Bermuda in 2016, 2017 and 2018.

I continue to run and my goal for this year is to work my way back to the 10K distance while also working on pace at shorter distances.

I trust in my body's capacity to continue to heal and bring me joy in this incredible journey.

I wish all of you a fearless Friday and a way of life that chooses love over fear, adventure over "security" and "playing it safe", and doing the thing that you think you cannot do!

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

A Master Magician..A True Healer

I came across this post yesterday on Facebook. Dr. El Abd and Dr. Gomba were cited as Boston Magazine's Top Doctors for 2020.



They are the doctors at Newton Wellesley Interventional Spine.

In January of 2007, I was referred to Dr. El Abd after having had an MRI of my cervical spine as part of my evaluation at Spaulding Rehab's International Center for Polio and Post Polio.

Thirteen years later, I feel the heart imprint that this healer left from my first appointment with him.

From "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

In January of 2007, I told my team at work the diagnosis. I had a team meeting at Spaulding Rehab with each of my therapists. Multidisciplinary team communication and coordination of care is a hallmark feature of the post polio clinic to ensure that the whole patient is being cared for. One of the nurse practitioners at the VA thought that I had Parkinson’s Disease because of my tremors. She was relieved that it was nothing more serious than post polio syndrome. I told my nurse manager that I would have to use a lot of leave time for my therapy appointments. It was extremely painful for me to give up the time with my patients when I would bring them to different clinic stops, but it was becoming much less about the patients and more about me. If I couldn’t take care of myself, how did I expect to care for my patients and their families?

“I have the results of your MRI,” the voicemail message from Dr. Rosenberg began.

I felt the familiar feeling of my stomach dropping as though we had dropped altitude in an airplane; tremors and trembling took hold. I closed the door to my office on the second floor of the Department of Veterans Affairs Outpatient Clinic. As he rambled off the results I tried to slow my heart rate and my brain to understand what he was saying. He told me I needed to schedule a consultation with Dr. El Abd at the Newton Wellesley Hospital Spine Center.

“I believe a trigger injection will bring you some relief.”

I let the word sink in. Relief. There was something that could bring me relief from this pain and suffering? I wondered….


“This is a slam dunk,” Dr. Omar El Abd the incredibly handsome Egyptian doctor told me as he reviewed my MRI results with me.

“Let me explain to you what I’m going to do. You have a bulging disc pressing on your nerve at C-6 in your cervical spine. This is what is causing the pain down your arm, the tingling in your face and those throbbing sensations in your gums and teeth. We do what is called a trigger injection. First we inject numbing medication, which will bring you instant relief. We follow up with injecting steroids, which will
decrease the inflammation and bring you longer lasting relief.”

The thought of having a needle stuck in my cervical spine did not appeal to me but I knew that I had to try something!

“How long have you had this pain?”

“Oh at least ten years,” I answered.

“Why so long? Why didn’t you tell anyone about it?” Dr. El Abd asked horrified that I would allow myself to suffer for so long.

Good question I thought to myself.

From that day forward, he became my Master Magician!

After a few injections that brought incredible relief, he referred me to Allison Poole, an earth angel of a physical therapist at the old Spaulding Rehab Hospital in downtown Boston closer than Spaulding Framingham to the VA Clinic. She believed that I was NOT destined to be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life and helped me take those first tentative steps back to life and back to healing the breach in my mind/body connection.

After I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon, cervical spine symptoms returned and so I returned to Dr. El Abd. I had done a lot of work with healing the effects of paralytic polio and trauma and transforming my life through the power of the mind/body connection using visualization and guided imagery. Rather than chastise me for going against the advice of the staff at the Post Polio Clinic, he congratulated me on my epic accomplishment citing that he totally understood why I needed to challenge myself.

After my 2nd injection, I asked him to please show me what I needed to heal in my cervical spine using a model so I would no longer need follow up injections. As I sat in the recovery room, he brought out a model of the spine explaining in detail what I needed to heal and we discussed imagery that would be helpful in this process. Eleven years later I am free from cervical spine pain and symptoms, and did not have a trigger injection since that day!

He referred me for physical therapy with a wonderful no nonsense PT who told me that if I were going to get back on the roads, I needed to take time off. We did what I'd call an extreme makeover Post Polio edition addressing posture, gait, core strength and ways to cross train.

The next summer I was back on the roads better than ever!

If you or someone you love is experiencing spine issues, and you live in the greater Boston area, be sure to head to Dr. El Abd who is THE top doc for healing in my book.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

My New Word for 2020: Expansion

My original word choice for 2020 was Simplicity. After going through a period of decluttering and simplifying my life, that word just didn't seem to fit a new year and a new decade.

Childhood trauma and paralytic polio left me in a state of contraction in my body. I lived in a state of flight or fright decades after the danger ended.

In December of 2006, life as I had known it came to a screeching halt with the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, deemed by Western Medicine to be a progressive neuromuscular disease. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair; that if I used my muscles, I would lose more function. Since then, there has been an insurgence of science to refute that notion and replace it with the power of the mind/body connection and neuroplasticity expanding the possibilities for healing.

Fortunately, I refused to take the diagnosis sitting down.

I could have easily given into the diagnosis and gone into a state of contraction and fear but instead tapped into the power of the Divine as I had done since I was 5 years old.

My heart opened and I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul and its tremendous power to heal through visualization; leaving the pain of the past behind and opening my mind to create a future very different than the one the doctors said I would experience.

That first poem I wrote, "Running the Race" foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run. I went on to experience many wonderful adventures in the sport I fell in love with at the age of 53.

On January 12, 2015, after a serious knee injury in December, the MRI results were in that showed a lateral meniscal tear, effusion and degenerative arthritis, bone spurs, changes from previous surgeries and on and on the report went.

I returned to the physiatrist I had seen at the Post Polio Clinic as he was the easiest accessible doctor for me at the time. Dr. Rosenberg went on to say no running or cap my distance at a 5K and prepare for a total knee replacement in a few years. He also urged me to return to the Post Polio Clinic because it was only a matter of time before the condition progressed.

I could have once again gone into a contracted state of caution and fear which I did for about a New York Minute before I realized I had not gone that far to only come that far.

I took a referral to a physical therapist who turned out to be dreadful and was a sign from the Universe that I needed to expand my options for care.

The Universe delivered with a healer/chiropractor and wonderful healing resourcesto heal the knee injury, grow a new gastroc muscle and set new, expansive goals for myself.

One year later on January 17, 2016, I crossed the finish line of the 2016 Bermuda Half Marathon:


and in February ran the 10K at Hyannis Marathon Weekend.


I went on to run the 2017 and 2018 Bermuda Half Marathons.

This year, I started increasing mileage again after vowing I'd cap my distance at a 5K and running on Heartbreak Hill.

I am expanding my running goal to work up to the 10K distance again.

My passion and purpose is to share my incredible journey of healing, hope and possibilities. I am reaching out and expanding opportunities for speaking engagements and radio show appearances.

I am more diligent with my gratitude journal expanding my heart and my vision for the blessings in my life.

During my meditations, I focus on expansion seeing my life with infinite possibilities despite being 66 years old.

Do you have a word for 2020? If so I'd love to hear from you.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

When strong winds blow....

It was supposed to be an easy 4 mile run to top off the tank of training for Tom and Ruth Anne's epic Bermuda Triangle Challenge 10K.

When we saw the temperature of almost 70 degrees with sunshine we did not pay attention to the wind gusts.

We delighted in the fact that we would not need hats and gloves and a heavy running jacket and could head out the door with ease.

There was a moderate wind when we first set out on our run. By the time we arrived at the Reservoir, the winds had picked up. There were white caps on the water!



We were about a quarter of the way around the Reservoir and realized the winds were too strong by the water to continue and thought that the buildings on Beacon Street would provide some insulation from the winds. The tailwind as we changed course almost knocked us over but was certainly an advantage for our pace.



As we were about to turn around at our halfway point on Beacon Street we heard this rattling above. We looked up and there were large metal sheets holding on by what seemed to be a thread on the roof above us. Once we were out of harm's way we called the Brookline Police to let them know of the danger. They had already received a call and said Police and Fire were on the way.

Despite the challenging elements, I took a moment to look up and saw this beautiful cloud formation that reminded me of Horton Hears a Who:


I am not sure why we didn't consider doing fewer miles given the weather conditions, but that thought never entered our minds. And once we hit the halfway mark there was nothing to do but tough out the conditions until we got to our home.

The headwinds on the way back got stronger and stronger as we approached the Reservoir. I found myself shouting at the wind, "Seriously?"

What a powerful metaphor for the past three years where the strong winds of uncertainty for Ruth Anne's physical and emotional health almost brought us to our knees. What relief to find the correct diagnosis of PANDAS and a treatment plan that calmed the storms that plagued her.

We held steady taking rest breaks when we needed to and slowly but surely braved the elements and completed our four plus miles. I turned off Nike+ at 4 miles and walked very slowly up the hill towards home feeling triumphant, exhilarated, hungry and drained.

Rather than focusing on what a tough run it had been, we all felt that sense of overcoming that happens after tough miles.

Our arms, quads, and hips felt the work we did and we felt sore to the core.

There was a sense of joy and exuberance as we hydrated and refueled.

When strong winds blow on the roads and in life you harness all the power that lies within you to make it through.

And when the winds die down, there is a sense of ease and relief as joy bubbles up from deep within knowing how strong, brave and resilient the Divine within and around us is to get us through any challenge.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

Billy Mills and Having a Dream!

“Pursuit of a dream can heal a broken soul.” “God has given me the ability. The rest is up to me. Believe. Believe. Believe.” – Billy Mills

Last Friday, Billy Mills was the guest on Blog Talk Radio's Native Trailblazers. Toward the end of the show he said, "Even though I am 82 years old, I will always have a dream in front of me."

I came to the sport of running at the age of 53, and one of the first runners I learned about was Billy Mills. His YouTube video describing the greatest upset in Olympic History carried me from the starting line in Hopkinton to the Finish Line on Boylston Street and through my many many running adventures.



To hear him tell his story and what fuels his passion and purpose on Friday's show gave me goosebumps. I was delighted to learn that he read the phrase, "The subconscious mind cannot distinguish between real and imaginary" in a college textbook and it strongly resonated with him. Ever since I saw the video I was curious about what inspired him to harness the power of visualization to prepare for the Games.

What particularly moved me was to hear how he felt the call to give back to his community after winning the Gold. From the website of Running Strong for American Indian Youth:

Running Strong was founded under Christian Relief Services in 1986. After Billy Mills (Oglala Lakota) became the Olympic champion for the 10K, he made it his priority to give back to his community and create a better future for American Indian youth. He joined forces with Eugene Krizek and together they created Running Strong, aiming to bring basic resources and a sense of hope to some of the most impoverished American Indian communities in the nation.

Running Strong's work began primarily on the Pine Ridge and Cheyenne River Indian Reservations in South Dakota. We implemented programs to provide aid with food and nutrition, women and children’s health, education, and seasonal demands. Over the years, our service population and programming expanded dramatically. Today we are proud to serve American Indian people both on and off reservations throughout the United States.

Billy repeatedly shared how the mission of Running Strong is to "Empower the vision of the elders and inspire the dreams of the youth."

I might add that he sounds as youthful today as he did in the above YouTube video!

Scott Little surprised Billy as a call in guest on the show. He shared how he created a Brand to "do good" because the world doesn't need more brands but needs brands that do good. They created a partnership with Fox River Mills.

Be Confident. Dream Big. Run Strong.

Running Strong is proud to announce that we have partnered with Fox River Mills® to launch the Run Strong by Fox River® sock line.

Inspired by our National Spokesperson, co-founder and Olympic Gold medalist Billy Mills, Run Strong socks are high quality running socks that support Running Strong's work building a new generation of Native American leaders who demonstrate healthy lifestyles, inspire youth, preserve their cultures, and celebrate their identities.

$1 of every pair sold is donated to Running Strong and goes back into strengthening Native communities.

The 2020 Olympics will be held in Tokyo. Billy has been sending out a monthly email with his stories on the Road to Tokyo several of which he shared in Friday's interview.

We all have dreams and so often abandon our dreams because we don't believe we can achieve them.

Billy Mills' story reminds us all to believe believe believe!

Be sure to visit the website for Running Strong to learn more about their programs, and stock up on those Made in America running socks to be confident, dream big and run strong and support our Native American brothers and sisters.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

A Harbinger of Spring - Happiness on Heartbreak Hill - What if Everybody Ran?

After Saturday's run on Heartbreak Hill I reflected on the Mizuno Ad campaign, "If Everybody Ran..."


Team McManus planned to run around the Reservoir but something didn't feel right in my gut. It was raining and the ground around the Reservoir can get soaked with puddles and mud.

Tom and Ruth Anne needed to top off the tank of their training for Bermuda Triangle Challenge Weekend's 10K so off we went to Heartbreak Hill without missing a beat.

They did not need to simulate the course as we had on Wednesday so decided on a relatively flat part of the course and I emphasize relatively flat part of Heartbreak Hill.

Tom and Ruth Anne took off to do their 5 mile run and I headed out for another 4 miler.

Everyone smiled at one another. What a gift to have no snow or ice in Boston in January as runners begin adding on miles for the Boston Marathon.

I passed one runner, Dominick H. who I met at a race a few years ago. We smiled and waved and he said, "Keep going."

A runner wearing a white hat picked up her visor. We smiled and warmly hugged.

"Oh my God." I said.

"It's a sign," she said referencing how we met.

From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

“It’s a sign!” a group of runners exclaimed as they walked by my table at the Hyannis Race Expo.

They picked up my medal from the Bermuda Half Marathon.

“We were just talking about how we have to run Bermuda. We are putting it on our bucket list.”

The Mystic Runners from Wakefield, Massachusetts were deeply moved by my inspirational journey. In that moment of synchronicity, we became fast friends.

Paulie has been gracious and generous to offer me a table at the Expo to sell my books and inspire runners with my journey. The 2015 weekend was cancelled. It was a tough decision for any race director to make but treacherous weather conditions would have compromised the safety of the runners. I didn’t give a second thought about having a table at the 2016 Expo. I was running the 10K and planned to focus my energies on the race.

A friend messaged me on Facebook. “I’m so excited you have a table at the Expo this year. I saw your name on the table. Can’t wait to see you!”

I grabbed my Hyannis Half Marathon medal, my Boston Marathon finisher photo and medal, the few books I had on hand and my business cards. At the last minute, I put my Bermuda Half Marathon finisher medal in the box.

Michelle was one of those Mystics. We've been friends on Facebook and in real life since February of 2016.

She is training for her first Boston Marathon running for the Beth Israel Cancer Center to honor the memory of her dear father who passed away several months ago.

"It certainly is a sign," I said "especially since we were going to go to the Reservoir to run." We briefly chatted all things running and life and she went on her way before she got hypothermic but not before I got goosebumps to realize what a warrior she is to be taking on Boston as a cancer survivor!!!



I was beaming after I ran into her.

There was a water stop that was obviously set up for charity runners in training.

"Who is that for?"

"Team in Training but feel free to help yourself to anything you need."

As one of their charity runners resumed her run, I said, "A harbinger of Spring."

She smiled and gave me a high five! Even though it's only January, she knew exactly what I meant!

Struggling runners picked up their pace and their spirits when I smiled and cheered them on. I beamed when someone said to me, "Looking good." We may not have known each others' names but there are no strangers on the Newton Hills.

I was lost in thought remembering our training runs on Heartbreak Hill for the 2009 Boston Marathon marveling at the friendships we forged through the years through the sport of running while smiling and greeting runners as they passed.

I was quickly brought out of my world when I saw Ruth Anne and Tom in the distance.

"What happened?" I asked.

"What do you mean? We turned around at 2.5 miles!"

They had done an incredible pace and caught up with me at my 2 mile mark since I had stopped to chat with Michelle.

They decided to finish their run with me at my pace since their race day is only two weeks away.

Our conversation flowed as the rain increased in intensity but we were oblivious to the weather as we shared our experiences on the run.

We stopped at the Johnny Kelley Statue to take our selfie:


By the time we returned to the car we were soaked and a little chilled yet exhilarated from experiencing so much happiness and a sense of Oneness on Heartbreak Hill.

What a wonderful world this would be if everybody ran and we lived as all the runners did during that rainy day on Heartbreak Hill.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.

Happy New Year on Heartbreak Hill!

The Art of Being Present From 'Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life':

Each moment is a blank canvas
smudges and splotches only in mind's eye
raindrops from the heart
wash away the past.
Each moment is an opportunity
overflowing with possibility.

How shall I paint this moment?

My portrait once a still life
now
in stillness
life force leaps

dancer
lover of life
a geyser of joy
a river of happiness
gratitude flows
fragrant flowers sweetness
strong roots
lit with softness of sun's tender embrace
back from the edge
the ledge between life and death
creating the masterpiece of my life
one breath at a time.

With only two weeks until Ruth Anne and Tom toe the starting line of the Bermuda Triangle Challenge 10K, we knew they needed to simulate race day and have time to taper in order to have fresh legs on race day.

What better way to usher in a New Year and a new Decade than with a run to train for a new goal?

Tom and Ruth Anne inspired me to add to my word, Simplicity for 2020. I looked at my mileage from 2019 and although I brought much compassion to the lower mileage, I knew I needed to make a change for 2020. By taking charge to simplify my life, I have more energy for new goals!

Tom and Ruth Anne had the Bermuda 10K course map to guide them:


They planned a route to simulate the elevation on Heartbreak Hill and run for 6.2 miles. I opted for a 2 mile out and back route for 4 miles. I had been keeping my distance at a 5K but it's a new year and a new decade which is an awesome time to shift gears and reach out for something new.

They warmed up with me and took off with fuel and hydration that they will use on race day using the map to nail down race day strategy.

As I got close to the Johnny Kelley statue, Tom texted me to let me know I should turnaround at the statue. My Nike+ already said 2 miles so I decided to go with Ruth Anne's Garmin for distance.

I remembered when we reached this spot on Marathon Monday 2009:


There were many many runners out on Heartbreak Hill. As we passed each other we smiled and wished each other Happy New Year.

I saw one runner in a Striders shirt. We have become friends with many Merrimack Valley Striders through the years and our running friendships grow thanks to Facebook. I called out to him and said "Go Striders." I asked his name and told him mine. We'd been Facebook friends connected through other Striders but had never met in person. We recognized each other and wished each other Happy New Year. He told me after the run on Facebook that he'd done the entire Boston Marathon course!

I loved the sunshine streaming through the bare trees to offset the wind chill.



As I neared mile 3, I saw the steep, long incline loom before me that would take me to the top of Heartbreak Hill near Boston College.

"Oh this will be so awesome to simulate the Bermuda 10K for Tom and Ruth Anne but why am I doing this?" I laughed to myself.

I chose to go the longest distance I'd done since the 2018 Bermuda Half Marathon on the Newton Hills!

Slowly and steadily I kept an even pace needing to stop only once before the downhill that would take me back to our car.

My Nike+ read 4.28 miles. I stretched, hydrated and within a short period of time, Ruth Anne and Tom were running towards me arms triumphantly in the air.

I cheered them on as I will when I see them come into the Stadium after they conquer the Bermuda 10K.



What a fantastic way to start a new year and a new decade! What a contrast to last year when Ruth Anne was critically ill without a clear diagnosis or treatment plan. What a contrast to January of 2007 when I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease.

How will you paint the masterpiece of your life?

It was indeed a Happy New Year on Heartbreak Hill.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Be inspired by my interview with Kendra Petrone on the award winning Exceptional Women Show by following this link

To experience an epic race weekend and hear me share my journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond come to the Hyannis Marathon Weekend February 21-23 2020.