When Source is the Source

If you pay attention to the news these days, there is a lot to fear and so much uncertainty. After contracting paralytic polio at the age of 5 followed by years of enduring abuse at the hands of family members and after the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome at the age of 53, I connected to Source to guide me through. I continue to remind myself to go above and beyond anything happening in physical reality and focus on gratitude, love, joy, peace, hope, healing and possibilities.

One of the ways I discovered of connecting to Source and tapping into healing, hope and possibilities is through the power of my pen; my divining rod for healing. Shortly after the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, poetry flowed out of me. I healed a tumultuous past through forgiveness and created a future very different from the one the doctors predicted for me.

In mid-March I opened my heart to the Divine and started writing poetry again. Rather than seeking news of the physical reality as portrayed by the media, I sought out seeing Source all around me.

Source from the soon to be released Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume 2

Whenever doubts prevail
look to the sky
sunrise or sunset
in the clouds angels smile
a canvas to send Divine messages.

Sorcerer of all
weaving a tapestry of magic, mystery and wonder
a wave of peace washes over
with broad brush strokes
signs from Master Artist.

My heart overflows
gratitude and blessings
withdraw from chaos or messages of fear
Source pours through every cell
when Source is the Source all things are possible!

On our early Monday morning run, we captured these scenes and signs from Source:


We have been dining outside in our yard and watching the sunsets. I've been captivated by what I have captured:


There have been angels, faces and incredible displays of light.

Given the high heat and humidity, we got up at 6:15am on Wednesday to head out on our run. After meditation, we were treated to these spectacular scenes that we paused to capture:


While contracting paralytic polio and enduring years of abuse and then receiving the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, were the greatest challenges in my life, they also presented me with the greatest gift. I found my way to Source and keep coming home to Source through my running, my meditation and my poetry. For when Source is the Source, all is healed, and all things are possible despite appearances to the contrary!

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com to be inspired by my journey of overcoming adversity and healing my life mind, body and soul through the power of the mind/body connection and connection to Source.

My books are available on Amazon.

From my heart to yours
In health and well being
Mary

Billy Mills Virtual 10K/5K Run/Walk

Shortly after I came to the sport of running at the age of 54 years old, I was profoundly inspired by Billy Mills 1964 Olympic Gold Medal Win. The more I learn about Billy and his journey, the more my soul stirs by what Billy endured to achieve his dream that healed his soul.

When I declared to my personal trainer in February of 2008 that I wanted to run the 2009 Boston Marathon, I had never run a day in my life. In December of 2006 I was diagnosed with Post Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. When my personal trainer asked me for my next goals, the words, "And I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab," fell out of my mouth coming from the depths of my soul.

This video of Billy Mills 1964 Olympic Gold Medal win motivated me and continues to motivate me throughout my running journey.

"The subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between reality or imagination...You live in the moment the way you want it to be." ~Billy Mills



Shortly after the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. The answer came in the form of a poem, 'Running the Race'.

An excerpt of the poem from "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility:
Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

I sobbed to write those words. I had never spoken about polio or the abuse I endured. I became curious. Why am I writing about winning a 10K race?

Last year, I entered a Facebook contest and was blessed to win a scarf hand painted by Billy's wife Pat for his 80th birthday and a copy of his book, "Lessons of a Lakota."

We have been supporting Billy's 'giveaway,' Running Strong for American Indian Youth by purchasing socks from Fox River and making direct donations to Running Strong for American Indian Youth.

From the #RunWithBilly website: At the 1964 Olympics, Billy Mills (Oglala Lakota Sioux) shocked the world and came from behind to win the gold medal in the 10,000 meters race. He was, and is still, the only American to win a gold medal in the 10K event. In Lakota culture, someone who achieves great success has a “give away” to thank their community of support. As part of his “give away”, Billy helped found Running Strong for American Indian Youth. Today, Native American children, families, and the communities they live in benefit from Billy’s dream. You can help.

From August 1 - August 9th, you can #runwithbilly by running or walking a 10K or 5K. You will receive a bib signed by Billy with the number he wore when he won Olympic Gold and with Pat's design from Billy's 80th Birthday celebration:


The entry fee is $28.24 for his winning time!

I have a very special connection to the 1964 Olympics through an earth angel of a camp counselor I had at Badger Day Camp. Joe Stetz gave up his Olympic bid to compete in the 1964 games in the butterfly event to become a physician. He coached me when I was 10 years old to compete in the butterfly event at the end of season Olympics. You can read the blogs I wrote about Joe and how he blessed my life by following this link.

When Team McManus takes to the road on August 1st to #runwithbilly we will hold his story close in our hearts and embody the champions within us. I will also be holding Joe Stetz close to my heart. He inspired me to always believe in myself, to show up and be the best I could be on race day. We will also be running for Running Strong for American Indian Youth.

Register today by following this link.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

To learn more about my journey on the roads and in my life as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon.

No way! Way!

Throughout my 13 year healing odyssey from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma, people (and myself) have often said "No way!" and the Universe and I respond "Way!"

Because of my own journey of transformation, I always held faith that one way or another, our daughter Ruth Anne (see blog post The Missing Piece of the Puzzle) would find her healing path. We had no idea of what that path would look like or when it would happen but we visualized her as healthy and whole, and being able to have a relationship with her.

There were moments when it was very challenging to sustain faith and vision for a future very different from the frequent crises we experienced with Ruth Anne. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be out running with her on a regular basis and that she would be pacing me on the roads as I pace her in her life as she continues to heal and recover, I would have said no way. Yet deep down inside I knew there was a way that was yet to be revealed to us.

Yesterday Ruth Anne and I went on our Wednesday morning run together. It was cooler than it had been in awhile and we decided it would be a good day for her to pace me.



While enjoying the scenes of nature and working on my pace, we talked about politics, family, memories, continued to debrief about these past 3 years of her journey, my journey and the excitement of waiting to hear on her acceptance into U Mass Boston Graduate School of Urban Planning and Community Development. Ever since she received her Bachelors Degree she has wanted to pursue a Master's Degree. The professors she reconnected with during the process of applying to UMass were over the moon excited that she is pursuing her Masters Degree and affirmed her achievements as a student in their classes. What powerful medicine to heal the wounds of the past several years where she had been given every psychiatric diagnosis in the book. One of her "therapists" even told her that she was on the progressive course of a schizophrenic!

Fortunately the psychiatrist she works with knew that she did not fit into any specific diagnostic category and wanted to alleviate the pain and suffering caused by the symptoms. He was greatly relieved when we put the pieces of the puzzle together and worked with us to get a medication regimen that would support her healing!

When you see Ruth Anne and me with our vibrant radiant smiles, you would have no idea of what we have endured to arrive at this moment in our lives. You would probably say..."No way! That's just not possible!" and we would say, "Oh yes Way! it's all so possible!"

To learn more about my healing journey from having been told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books to uplift and inspire you with powerful messages of healing, hope and possibilities are available on Amazon



From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

An Early Morning Run

We knew that we needed to get up and out the front door early if we were going to get in our miles for yesterday's run. We set the alarm for 6:30am, did our meditation, had a banana and water and laced up those running shoes.

My runs have become more precious to me during these challenging and unprecedented times. I relish time in nature and time with Tom and Ruth Anne. I love how I feel empty and satiated after a run. During runs in summertime, I love the trickles of sweat pooling in the small of my back and how I continue to sweat after the run ends.

My head clears during a run and other than needing to "mask up" when another runner approaches, there is a rhythm and sense of normalcy to our lives.

Rather than focus on what I miss this summer, I let my heart overflow with gratitude for the gift of an early morning run, for our health and wellness, for air conditioners, for grilling and dining al fresco in our yard, for great restaurants and take out near our home, for virtual races and for being able to stay connected with friends and family on social media.

The weather has been fantastic. There's been a few days of high heat and humidity but we don't have the days on end of either oppressive heat and humidity or dreary rainy days. We have been blessed with being able to get outdoors for our runs.

We have been treated to scenes such as these and express our gratitude and joy through a selfie:


One of my favorite things about an early morning run before breakfast is savoring a bowl of Raisin Bran with banana, an English Muffin and OJ. Food tastes exquisite after exertion.

We had a lot of wonderful plans for the summer of 2020 especially now that Ruth Anne is healthy but sometimes life has other plans. We have discovered the joy in simple pleasures, time together, grateful for our health and abundance and celebrating life one mile at a time with an early morning run!



To learn more about my journey of transformation from a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon

From my heart to yours
In health, wellness and joy
Mary

Fantastic Four Miles

Summer sun, heat and humidity returned to Boston this weekend. We debated about whether or not Tom and Ruth Anne would get in their 6 mile run in preparation for the Falmouth Road Race At Home Edition. They either do another 5K after we run together or they run the next day. It was going to be oppressive weather conditions to run on Sunday. Something bubbled up inside of me and I suggested that we do 4 miles together.

I have not done 4 miles since February of this year. I've been conservative in my mileage while working on my pace in part because my chiropractor took an extended maternity leave (she's due in August) with the pandemic. I was feeling quite demoralized as many people were and couldn't seem to get my running mojo going. As we settled into a new rhythm of life, I focused on getting back my running mojo. The most important aspects of my running mojo were to feel the joy of running without races or running friends in person and to challenge myself.

I have been working on improving my pace at the 5K distance and when the temperatures cooperate, I have been quite successful.

We took a lot of water breaks having our water bottles that were frozen overnight in our water belts. We improvised our route. There was construction happening around the Reservoir so we had to turn back before we completed our loop. There were a lot of bicycles and people. We exited stage left and went down the hill running around the periphery of the Reservoir. We took another downhill to add mileage. Rather than taking a right to go home, we took a left to run Eliot Street end to end! We zig zagged to run in the shade. Our water supply was rapidly dwindling but so was the mile left for us to run.

I poured sweat even after we finished our run and felt a deep sense of joy and satisfaction savoring summertime in the City:



For 12 years I have been a part of the sport of running. With all the miles I have run and accomplishments I have experienced, running has been the gift that keeps on giving mind, body and soul. I have tested and challenged myself at different races with time and distance and received the gifts of triumph and exhilaration. During these unprecedented times with races cancelled and the prohibition of gatherings, running has given me the gift of exploring new routes in my neighborhood, helped me to stay connected with friends through our mutual love of running and camaraderie that has grown through the years and the gift of physical, emotional and spiritual well being.

I love feeling spent after a run reaping the gifts that a great run gives, especially after revisiting the distance of four fantastic miles!

To learn more about my incredible and miraculous journey from the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

A Stubborn Heart

I have always had a stubborn heart and refused to give up despite the seemingly impossible challenges set before me. That stubborn heart often resulted in more abuse from family members but I always stood my ground. Despite being physically weakened by paralytic polio that I contracted at the age of 5 in one of the last polio epidemics in the US, my heart and spirit were strong.Jacqueline Hansen had this to say about my courage in the Foreword to "Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance"
In fact, another Eleanor Roosevelt quotation reminds me of Mary: “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ...

Try to imagine what it must have been like to be diagnosed with paralytic polio as a child. Try to imagine suffering child abuse at the hands of those very family members who are charged with your upbringing. Try to imagine them together. It’s unbearable to think about. Then imagine surviving the unthinkable, and in adulthood being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome. This is a story that needs to be told. This is a story of challenge, of resiliency, and a story of heart, tremendous heart.

I am fond of using the word “heart.” When coaching young athletes, which I have done my entire adult life, I often tell them to “run with heart.” As I explain to them, I can coach them on skills, on running form, on race strategy, on everything to do with their running, except I cannot create “heart.” This is something that only they can produce from within. I go on to say that “you have to want this (running or racing) more than I do – more than I want it for you.” “Always run with heart.” I am here to tell you that Mary McManus always runs with all her heart.

Just for a moment, let’s ponder the word “heart.” The Latin word for heart is “cor.” Cor is also the root of the word “courage.” I would attribute both heart and courage to Mary. Even Mary herself has said that “It takes incredible courage to heal trauma . . . healing both paralytic polio and trauma.” Author Parker Palmer wrote that “The heart is where we integrate what we know in our mind with what we know in our bones, the place where our knowledge can become more fully human. When all that we understand of self and world comes together in the center place called the heart, we are more likely to find the courage to act humanely on what we know.”

My life has been filled with magic and synchronicity. I was blessed to meet running greats like Jacqueline, Bill Rodgers and Frank Shorter who embraced me and my journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma to going the distance to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.



I have been blessed by earth angels who have come into my life just when I needed them helping me to create more magic and miracles of healing.

Were there times when I wanted to give up? Absolutely! During the ten years before the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome was made, I became increasingly depressed feeling forlorn and lost. I was at the top of my game as a VA social worker but physically, emotionally and spiritually, I was withering away. It was the dark night of my soul. But somehow, some way I kept soldiering on knowing deep within me that I could not and would not give up. I'd survived paralytic polio at age 5 and endured years of violence at the hands of family members. All the years of giving to others and not taking time to take care of me finally caught up with me.

But ... (excerpted from "Running the Race" and "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility"):

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

I sobbed to write those words. I had never spoken about polio or the abuse I endured. I became curious. Why am I writing about winning a 10K race?

May you remember that even when you feel like giving up, keep on keeping on because magic happens when you don't give up. The Universe falls in love with a stubborn heart.

To learn more about my journey as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Trust the Process of Life: Releasing Fear and Anxiety

During my run this morning, I reflected on quotes I read in the news about parents fearing for their lives and the lives of their children if schools reopen. I put those quotes in juxtaposition with a quote that "just happened" to pop up in my memory feed from Louise Hay:
"Fear comes from not trusting the process of Life to be there for you. The next time you are frightened, say: 'I trust the process of Life to take care of me.'"

And remembered the above quote by Helen Keller.

Living a life in fear for me is not living!

I've known adversity and trauma since I was 5 years old when I contracted paralytic polio during one of the last polio epidemics in the United States. I endured years of abuse at the hands of family members from the time I was 8 until I was 17 when my father ended his life. I learned to trust in something greater than myself when I had an out of body experience shortly after contracting paralytic polio and being under the care of my mother who was addicted to prescription pain medication.

I was touched by grace time and time again despite the horrors I endured during my father's alcoholic rages.

I was blessed by earth angels in the guise of teachers and guidance counselors to support the intellectual prowess I developed to cope with the chaotic home life. The diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome at the age of 53 was my wake up call and provided me with the opportunity to at long last heal my life and become a creator of my life.

All the wisdom I have garnered through my healing journey during these past 13 years is serving me well during these chaotic and turbulent times.

Being able to go out on a run in nature is a blessing where I experience nature and life:


The sweat and endorphins wash away any sense of worry or fear.

From the soon to be released "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life Volume II":
After a Run

After a run troubles melt away
a once tight chest filled with dread and fear
opens
overflowing with joy and gratitude.

Thoughts tossed and turned
restless night
greatest feat
first step
crossing front door threshold

Exhaustion exhumed
vibrancy returns
hitting my stride
connection to Source
bathed in sunlight
beads of sweat
a fountain of joy and freedom

After a run
troubles melt away as sweat pours from pores
all that remains
sweetness of summertime
a reminder
born to run
free!

While initially, I felt fear and panic during lock down and needed to heal wounds that were reopened, I increased meditation time, started writing poetry again, and remembered what Mark Twain once said:


Fear and worry can inhibit the immune system and wreak havoc on the body.

From Dr. Joe Dispenza who was a great source of inspiration to me after a serious knee injury in December 2014:

If you believe your thoughts and feelings have an effect on your reality, the moment you react to external events with survival emotions, you begin putting more of your attention on them, and if you’re putting your attention on these events (events over which you have no control), you’re giving away your power to them. Every time you react with fear & anxiety because fear and anxiety are emotions & emotions are energy, they only serve to feed the next moment of unrest. What we need to learn how to do in this moment of history is to be in the stillness—to become the eye of the hurricane. The eye of a hurricane is a place of calm, around which spins the storm. We become the eye when we pull ourselves out of the chaos and into the present moment. This is, after all, why we do all the training we do—because it’s in the eternal present moment where all of creation is engendered. By regulating internal emotions independent of external conditions, this is how we begin to master our environment.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
While we need to be cognizant and vigilant of injustices in our society, I would encourage you from time to time to disconnect from the news. If you don’t want to completely disconnect, then be a force for adding light and love to those social feeds. Better yet, in your day-to-day life, perform a random act of kindness for a stranger, call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, forgive someone or forgive yourself for something you’ve been holding on to. At the very least, be loving & kind to yourself and those around you, because everyone is going through their own challenges♥️

There was another wonderful quote I heard from Elisa Goldstein, Ph.D. "In times of uncertainty, focus on what you are certain of. One thing we are certain of is that we need to take care of ourselves and each other." I run, meditate, eat healthfully, hydrate, practice gratitude and share feelings with my friends and family while also celebrating the miracle of my life. I also limit my exposure to the news.

I know of our bodies' tremendous capacity to heal as I have seen countless times over and over again in my own life and the stories of others. You can read The Tenth Anniversary of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body by Dr. David Hamilton, Dr. Joe's You Are the Placebo and Becoming Supernatural or books by Bernie Siegel, MD to read these stories of healing and transformation harnessing the power of the mind/body connection. They also write about studies where fear was instilled by physicians and patients' bodies listened to what they were told about their diagnosis and prognosis.

While I wear a mask, social distance and wash my hands, I also choose to trust the process of life and co-create health and well being regardless of external circumstances or appearances.

To be inspired and motivated by my journey from being told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary