An Early Morning Run

We knew that we needed to get up and out the front door early if we were going to get in our miles for yesterday's run. We set the alarm for 6:30am, did our meditation, had a banana and water and laced up those running shoes.

My runs have become more precious to me during these challenging and unprecedented times. I relish time in nature and time with Tom and Ruth Anne. I love how I feel empty and satiated after a run. During runs in summertime, I love the trickles of sweat pooling in the small of my back and how I continue to sweat after the run ends.

My head clears during a run and other than needing to "mask up" when another runner approaches, there is a rhythm and sense of normalcy to our lives.

Rather than focus on what I miss this summer, I let my heart overflow with gratitude for the gift of an early morning run, for our health and wellness, for air conditioners, for grilling and dining al fresco in our yard, for great restaurants and take out near our home, for virtual races and for being able to stay connected with friends and family on social media.

The weather has been fantastic. There's been a few days of high heat and humidity but we don't have the days on end of either oppressive heat and humidity or dreary rainy days. We have been blessed with being able to get outdoors for our runs.

We have been treated to scenes such as these and express our gratitude and joy through a selfie:


One of my favorite things about an early morning run before breakfast is savoring a bowl of Raisin Bran with banana, an English Muffin and OJ. Food tastes exquisite after exertion.

We had a lot of wonderful plans for the summer of 2020 especially now that Ruth Anne is healthy but sometimes life has other plans. We have discovered the joy in simple pleasures, time together, grateful for our health and abundance and celebrating life one mile at a time with an early morning run!



To learn more about my journey of transformation from a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond, be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon

From my heart to yours
In health, wellness and joy
Mary

Run for Your Life

Thirteen years ago I was at 10 days and counting until I left my award winning career as a VA social worker to "heal my life." The day had been circled in red on my calendar for 6 weeks in advance of May 25th, 2007. It was almost go time...


I felt as though the Universe was giving me a shove out of the nest of safety of having a full time job with a very good salary into the unknown. It was both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time!

Did I have any idea that just a little less than a year later I would be featured on the cover of "Healthy Brookline" in the Brookline Tab giving an interview about my journey on the road to the 2009 Boston Marathon?



Absolutely not although I had written the poem, "Running the Race".

In early May 2008, I sat with Neal Simpson in a coffee shop in Brookline sharing my journey with him:

Fifty years after polio, a Brookline woman is fighting back
By Neal Simpson/staff writer

Brookline - Since she was a little girl, Mary McManus had rarely moved faster than a walk.

But last month, the former polio patient bought her first pair of running shoes. And now she’s training for a marathon.

Paralyzed by polio at the age of 5, the Brookline mother of two now spends every day fighting back against the crippling effects of the disease that still threatens to rob her of her strength and mobility 50 years later. She said she won’t stop until she runs her first marathon.

“I just know with every fiber in my body that we will,” she said. “It’s all happening.”

McManus faces an uphill battle. Though polio itself has been virtually eradicated from the developed world, McManus is one of more than 440,000 Americans who could see a resurgence of symptoms decades later, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

Scientists believe this resurgence, called post-polio syndrome, is a result of natural aging and stress on the motor neurons that survive an initial polio attack.

Polio survivors learn to depend on these motor neurons as they recover, and can live relatively normal lives before they give out later in life, according to Mary Cole, a senior occupational therapist at the International Center for Polio in Framingham.

“There’s usually a long period of stability,” said Cole. “If not, there’s something else going on.”

Cole teaches post-polio patients how to save their energy, and recommends that many start using the braces and canes they once used as kids. It’s about improving quality of life, she said.

“A lot of people think exercise is what can get you through this, and that’s not the case,” Cole said. “Most of these patients have been overusing these muscles, and we need to find a balance.”

But McManus said she refuses to slow down. She wants to prove that other post-polio patients don’t have to, either.

“I’m here to let them know that that might be true for some people, it doesn’t have to that way,” she said.

‘Everything just gave out’

It was 1958, and McManus was a kindergartner in gym class. She remembers exactly how it happened.

“I was running around, having a great time, and I just dropped,” she remembered. “Everything just gave out.”

Polio left McManus paralyzed on her left side. She was walking again within a couple of months, but her limp would never leave her and she often tired easily.

Unable to play with her classmates, the young McManus turned to academics.

“I became a straight-A student, and I was valedictorian,” she said. “I never thought much about my body. It was an enemy — I hated it.”

All through her childhood, her college years and her career as a veterans’ social worker, McManus suffered from chronic fatigue, a burning sensation in her muscles and a slight limp. But in 1996, things started to get much worse, as McManus often felt short of breath and began having trouble swallowing.

But McManus’ doctors, unfamiliar with post-polio syndrome, blamed the symptoms on menopause, coupled with depression prompted by her twin children’s departure for college.

So McManus soldiered on for another decade as her symptoms became even worse. By the time she got help in 2006, she could barely get out of bed in the morning and had trouble climbing the stairs in her house. Tremors shook her body and her limp became more severe.

“I was beside myself,” she said. “In my private moments, I just wanted to give up.”

In her darkest hour, McManus turned to prayer and poetry to sustain her. As her collection of poems grew, she began compiling it into a book, which she has published under the title “New World Greetings.”

McManus eventually checked into Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital in Boston, where she was diagnosed with post-polio syndrome after doctors ruled out all other causes. The first thing the doctors told herwas to quit her high-stress job and focus on herself.

It was exactly what she needed, McManus said.

“I needed to hear that I needed to stop everything and conserve my energy,” she said.

McManus quit her job of 18 years in May 2007, and immediately began feeling better. With the stress of life as a social worker gone, McManus felt her body began rebuilding lost muscle.

Starting that summer, doctors at Spaulding treated McManus for a pinched nerve and helped her regain her upper-body strength. She began a regimen of cardiovascular exercise and learned to conserve her energy.

“They got me to the point where I felt a little stronger,” she said. “My pain went almost to nothing.”

More importantly, McManus said, the exercises gave her a sense of control over her body and the confidence to do something about her disease.

‘Let’s see what this body can do’

When she was discharged from Spaulding in October, McManus called up a personal trainer she’d heard of named Janine Hightower.

“Basically, we said, ‘Let’s see what this body can do.’”

At the time, McManus was struggling to climb a 12-inch step in her home. When the two began their exercises, McManus set a low standard for success: All she wanted, she said, was the ability to get off her toilet without help.

Hightower began her on a gentle exercise routine, gradually advancing her from strength training to short jogs.

“When she was first learned she had post-polio syndrome, everyone was telling her to go easy on her body to rest and sit down,” Hightower said. “I sort of took the opposite approach. I told her to challenge her body.”

McManus took the message to heart. When she began reaching the goals they had set earlier this year, Hightower asked McManus what she wanted to do next.

Run a marathon, she responded.

What do you think? Add your comment to article at www.wickedlocal.com/brookline.
Neal Simpson can be reached at nsimpson@cnc.com.

While a few of the facts were incorrect; I was never an inpatient at Spaulding and I was discharged from outpatient care that began in January in May of 2007, Neal eloquently captured the essence of where I was in my journey. The Tab also assigned a photographer for the article.

People did leave comments on the article letting me know how much I inspired them with my journey.

One of the most stunning aspects of my experience is how the physiatrist and therapists at the Post Polio Clinic set themselves up as experts letting me know with great authority that I was destined for a course of rapid decline as I aged. I was blessed to meet a physical therapist at another Spaulding site who did not subscribe to the "if you use it you will lose it" philosophy and then to meet Janine who helped me to go the distance in my quest to heal my life from the once ravaging effects of paralytic polio and enduring years of abuse at the hands of family members.co

I discovered the sport of running that transformed my life and continues to be my source of joy, health and well being and therapy for my mind, body and soul.

I knew with a deep knowing that it was time to run for my life ignoring the warnings of the medical community and tuning in to the Voice within to guide me.

From my heart to yours
To your health and wellness
In love and gratitude
Mary

Be sure to visit my website to learn more about my journey from being told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and beyond.

My books are available on Amazon

Transformation Tuesday: Reflections on My Leap of Faith

May 12, 2007: I sat in a nearly bare office at 251 Causeway Street in Boston. I was winding down my nearly 20 year career as a dedicated social worker at the VA Outpatient Clinic. I was counting down the days until May 25th, the day I would take a leap of faith to heal my life.

I was saying goodbye to veterans and their families and my colleagues and co-workers while preparing myself for a new way of life. I had worked since I was 14 years old and had no idea what it would be like to not have a job to report to. I did, however, have my work cut out for me. In December of 2006 I was diagnosed with Post Polio Syndrome deemed by Western Medicine as a progressive neuromuscular disease. I was using a toe up leg brace, cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility:


I knew I could no longer keep up the rigors of a full time job that was physically and emotionally demanding yet it was one that brought me incredible joy and satisfaction until I suffered caregiver burnout.

I found new joy and passion in writing poetry. I called my pen my divining rod for healing as it opened the portal to a whole new world of healing, hope and possibility.

My colleagues thought that I should have reconsidered my decision to take a leap of faith without a "safety net." Who could blame them? I was leaving a well paying job with health insurance with no specific plans except to follow my newfound bliss as a writer and poet and heal my life.

I knew I was not destined to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair or have all the other things happen to my body that the doctors predicted for me. I was blessed to be working with an earth angel of a physical therapist, Allison Lamarre-Poole (now in private practice in Maine). She led me out of my world as a survivor of paralytic polio and trauma to a whole new world of a mind/body connection and introducing me to the world of working out and being a full participant in my own life. She supported my passion for poetry and told me in word and actions that I was in fact NOT destined to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair.

We worked together three times a week using Pilates, isometrics, weight training and cardiovascular exercise to begin to bring my body out of its withered state.

When I wasn't seeing patients, I was getting still and taking time to imagine my future as a poet and entrepreneur as the owner of "New World Greeting Cards" original poetry for every occasion. I literally felt no pain when I wrote poetry and it flowed out of me like water from a faucet. It was as though a spigot had been turned on in my heart and soul.

As I look back on the days leading up to my retirement, I realize how people thought I was crazy to take that leap of faith. One couldn't earn a living as an author and certainly not as a poet yet I fancied myself as a NY Times Bestselling Author and being on Oprah.

I clearly remember thinking to myself one morning after meditation, "I know I have money. I am abundant." And then it came to me..."I have my retirement account. I am going to withdraw it and use it for seed money."

Another idea that caused panic for my co-workers and colleagues who were worried that I may have been experiencing some kind of a breakdown but for me I was following my intuition and Divine Guidance. A year later the market crashed and I would have lost a lot of that retirement account that was available to me as I embarked on writing a new chapter in my life. I was able to use that money for travel and to get us through those initial months without my salary. Throughout these past 13 years, we have focused on abundance even when there were times when we were experiencing financial strain. But without my health and well being, what good would that salary have been to me and to our family.

Although I wasn't on Oprah, I have had the opportunity to inspire many many people with my journey and my message of what's possible despite all appearances to the contrary. I took on the 2009 Boston Marathon with the help of an angelic personal trainer, Janine Hightower who I was blessed to meet in October of 2007.

What a thrill it was this past February to share the podium with Bill Rodgers and have him honor me as we spoke at the Hyannis Marathon Weekend Pre-Race Pasta Dinner:


I have had many many adventures as runnergirl 1953 on the roads and in my life and I discovered many empowering and inspiring quotes along this journey:



and my favorite from Helen Keller:


So while this pandemic has created a lot of anxiety and uncertainty, it is also an amazing time for possibilities to emerge that despite all appearances to the contrary may seem impossible.

Always hold onto hope and my hope is that my journey inspires you to take that leap of faith and create your life filled with abundance, health and well being.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
With love and peace
Mary

Be sure to visit my website to learn more about my inspirational journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and beyond!

My books are available on Amazon.

Where do I begin?

From "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility":

The buzzing hum from the fluorescent lights echoed the buzzing in my nervous system. I sat waiting for my first appointment at the post polio clinic at the IRCP. My complexion was as white as the paper that covered the exam table. I felt as fragile and vulnerable as that piece of paper that gets ripped off and tossed away after the exam. Every inch of my body hurt. I was exhausted. I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. I hadn’t really cared whether or not I woke up in the morning but I had a husband and twins that needed me. Ironically enough I was at the peak of my career as a VA social worker. I couldn’t sleep. I felt depressed. My award-winning career as a social worker at the Department of Veterans Affairs no longer fueled my soul. Somewhere deep inside of me there was a feeling that there had to be a way out of the hell I was living in.

The symptoms began in 1996. I had episodes of feeling fatigue and muscle burning. I was anxious. At times, I noticed that the limp from paralytic polio returned. In 1992, I had reconstructive leg surgery to correct the deformity of my left leg and to avoid a total knee replacement at the young age of 39 years old. Here I was 7 years later feeling as though my body was beginning to deteriorate and my life falling apart.

That was in October of 2006. I knew I was at a crossroads in my life but I had absolutely no idea of the how, what, why, when or where I was to go next.

I was in a state of surrender and trust in something greater than myself. I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. A poem, "Running the Race" flowed out of me and many many more poems which harnessed the power of the mind/body connection to inspire healing.

I imagined a future very different from my past and one that was very different from the one that Western Medicine predicted for me. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair after being diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006.

I was blessed to be led to an earth angel of a physical therapist at Spaulding Hospital downtown who did not subscribe to the "if you use it, you will lose it" philosopy. She guided me on taking those first very tentative steps back to life and experiencing a new relationship with my body.

By the time I was discharged from her care in May of 2007 after taking a leap of faith to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker, I had a sense of hope, healing and possibility but was still a long way from being able to go about daily activities with ease.

In October of 2007, the Universe sent me another earth angel; this time in the guise of a personal trainer.

She answered my question of whether or not she thought I could get a little stronger with:


After 6 months of working together, I reached my initial health and fitness goals of getting off of the couch and a toilet without assistance and was able to pass the initial assessment.

When Janine asked me about my next health and fitness goals, I answered {From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953}:

“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”

Janine feverishly wrote down my goals, and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”

Did you ever have one of those moments when words fell out of your mouth after rising up from the depths of your soul without going through any thought process?

Janine was non-plussed. I don’t know what kept her from turning tail and getting as far away from me as she could. She came back into my house, set down her things and without missing a beat said, “Well the first thing you are going to need is a pair of running shoes.”

She laid out a cursory training plan and said that we would begin indoors to build up my cardio endurance. As soon as the weather got a little warmer, we’d go outdoors and I would learn how to run.

What had I just done?

Where DOES one begin a running career at the age of 54 years old having never run a day in my life and living with the late effects of childhood paralytic polio and trauma?

I am reminded of The Sound of Music ... let's start at the very beginning.

And we did...running for one minute and walking for four. My heart rate went up to over 160.

But soon one minute turned into 30 minutes and 30 minutes turned into a 5K, a 5K turned into a 10K and eventually we ran the 2009 Boston Marathon!



From being told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and to a running career that continues today at the age of 66 years old!

It seems as though I never really asked the question where do I begin and how will I get there for I did not even know where there was. I allowed the Universe to lead the dance of healing and recovery from the ravages of paralytic polio and childhood trauma.

I am blessed and grateful that I can share my message of healing, hope and possibility and inspire others to see beyond appearances and to know you are not your diagnosis!

Looking forward to sharing my inspirational journey next weekend, February 22-23 at the 2020 Hyannis Marathon Weekend.

Be sure to visit my website by following this link to learn more about my health and wellness journey. I have a page dedicated to Healing Resources.

To your health and wellness
from my heart to yours
Mary

On Healing, Hope and Possibility!

On May 25, 2007, just 3 years shy of when I was eligible to retire from my award winning career as a VA social worker, I took a leap of faith. I walked out of the Department of Veterans Affairs Outpatient Clinic in Boston and as I sat in my yard in a toe up short leg brace using a cane for mobility, clutching a manuscript of my first book of inspirational poetry, "New World Greetings: Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" I couldn't help but ask myself the question, "what have I done?" I had been diagnosed with Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease and told I'd spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. When I got still and asked for Divine Guidance, the poem, "Running the Race" flowed out of me. It was as though a spigot was turned on in my soul and poetry poured out of me igniting my imagination of possibilities; imagining a life very different from my current circumstances and a life in which I was free from the shackles of my past that was rife with illness and severe childhood trauma.



I had been discharged from outpatient physical therapy at Spaulding Rehab and vowed I would continue to work at my home exercise program. While my body was still deconditioned from the ravages of paralytic polio and trauma, I wrote poetry and watched Forrest Gump not understanding how or why I was doing all of this. I vaguely knew about the mind/body connection and certainly knew about the power of self-love to heal from reading Dr. Bernie Siegel's books. As serendipity would have it, in October of 2007, I was blessed to meet a personal trainer, Janine Hightower - from "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

Shortly after being discharged from outpatient physical therapy I met Janine Hightower through Herb Simmons. He knew Janine through his participation in the Cardiac Rehab program at Boston Medical Center. I was launching my business New World Greeting Cards, original poetry for every occasion. She was a member of BNI, a professional networking group. As we sat in my living room, she talked about BNI and the benefits of being a member of this networking group. As she talked, I wasn’t focused on growing my business. My mind zeroed in on her sharing with us how she used BNI to promote her in home personal training business.

“You know I’m curious,” I said to Janine. “Do you think you could help me? I was just discharged from Spaulding Rehab.”

I went on to tell her about my journey.

“I don’t know,” she said “but I’d certainly be happy to set up an assessment with you.”

I couldn’t even pass the initial fitness assessment.

“You’re way too young to not be able to get off of the toilet seat without holding on to the sink or to not be able to get off of the couch,” she said to me.

It was a statement of fact without judgment. She spoke the truth about my deconditioned physical state. I signed on to work with her once a week in personal training. I had no idea what or why I was doing this. I did know that if I was going to be in pain, I’d prefer to feel the pain of recovery instead of the pain of decline. Janine held enough faith for both of us that I could come out of my leg brace and have a good quality of life despite the diagnosis and prognosis I received.

Janine’s mantra for our work together was a quote from Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right!”

At my six-month evaluation in February, I made dramatic improvements in every area of the assessment. I had come out of my leg brace. I knew I was on a healing path.

“Let’s write down your goals for the next six months,” Janine said feeling proud and satisfied with my progress.

“Well I want to feel free in my body. I want to dance. I want to be able to walk outside and feel unencumbered when I take a walk.”

Janine feverishly wrote down my goals, and we worked out a plan. She gathered up her belongings and had her hand on the door knob.

“Wait. I have one more goal.”

Janine stopped and turned around.

“I want to run the Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. I know they have a Race for Rehab team and I want to do it next year.”



On April 20, 2009, I crossed the finish line of the Boston Marathon:


In December of 2014, I suffered a very serious left knee injury and was told to stop running and prepare for a total knee replacement in a few years.

Once again, the Universe led me to just the person I'd need to partner with me and help me continue on my healing path. Dr. Ryan J. Means, a chiropractor, supported me mind, body and spirit to get back on the roads and continue with my quest to heal from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. We grew a new gastroc muscle harnessing the power of the mind/body connection, KT Tape, mirror neurons and a new strength training regimen.

I went on to run 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons in 2016, 2017 and 2018.

I felt compelled to do a threepeat in Bermuda as a test, a testament and a testimony to the message of healing, hope and possibility that I send out to inspire others who are facing challenges and obstacles in their lives.

As I sat in a leg brace using a cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility, I did not know that one day I would run the Boston Marathon and discover the healing power of running and the love of the running community.

I imagined a life of healing harnessing faith and hope to fuel my journey and opened the portal to possibility.

One of our dear friends and Team Big Heart teammate, Kevin LaCoste and his wife Ali have been inspired by my recovery from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. We need to fuel their journey as Kevin recovers from a traumatic spinal cord injury as I wrote about in my recent blog post.

Here's How You Can Help:
For the remodel immediate funds can be donated to:
Venmo money to Nancy Cook at Nancy-Cook-25
Send Nancy a check: P.O. Box 869 Westford 01886
Send a check to: Kevin LaCoste Building Fund
Jean D’Arc Credit Union
196 Littleton Rd.
Westford MA, 01886

Supplies and trades needed:


Donate to the GoFundMe Page by following this link

Be a part of the Lotsa Helping Hands community by following this link.

Register for the 6th Annual Middlemiss Big Heart 5K happening on 9/28 by following this link. The LaCoste family is the beneficiary for the race.

Donate to Kevin Staffin's NYC Marathon Run. Once he reaches his goal of $3000 by race day, he will be required to don a Red Sox uniform. Kevin is a die hard Yankees fan but for his friend Kevin, he will go the distance and do whatever it takes to raise money. You can donate to Kevin's run by following this link

Attend Trivia Night:


From my heart to yours,
In Health and Wellness,
Mary


Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route.

Hope is a Four Letter Word - And so is Love!

One of the things I kept hearing after receiving the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome was "we don't want to give you false hope."

False hope? Is there really such a thing?

In the medical community there is such a thing as false hope and hope to many in Western Medicine is a four letter word.

I could have easily succumbed to the diagnosis and prognosis I was given in December of 2006 but somehow I was able to muster the courage to do what I'd done ever since I was 5 years old and open myself to Divine Guidance and a touch of grace.



I could barely walk up and down the stairs in my house. I had difficulty with breathing and swallowing. I experienced chronic pain and fatigue. I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, to use energy conversation techniques whenever possible, that I should get a sleep apnea machine and might need a feeding tube in the future because the left side of my esophagus was very weak and causing me to aspirate food into my lungs. I was told there was no hope except to quit my award winning VA social work career and try to stabilize the symptoms where they were although it was likely the disease would progress even if I did quit my job. I was told that if I used it I would lose it.

I realized I was at a crossroads in my life. I did take the advice to leave my career because the stress was taking a toll on me. I experienced caregiver burnout in a most dramatic fashion.

I got still and asked for Divine Guidance and discovered hope through the power of my pen; what became my Divining Rod for healing. In that first poem, 'Running the Race', I accepted what was happening to me with grace and gratitude while looking to the future in my mind's eye. From "Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing, Hope and Possibility" (the first book in my Trilogy of Transformation):

And then I felt a stirring in my second chakra (only then I didn’t know it was my second chakra – I thought it might have been something I ate). I went over to my laptop in the corner of the living room and I wrote this poem:

Running the Race
Early summer 1959 my kindergarten year
Everyone around me filled with nervous fear
Despite the Salk vaccine hope polio would disappear
The polio virus crept right up and knocked me in the rear.
Dancing all around the gym feeling free just like a bird
I dropped to the ground just like a stone
and no one said a word.
The pain it was so searing-the diagnosis even worse
"It's polio" the doctor said...he was abrupt and terse.
Called one of the 'lucky ones' I had a 'mild case'
But with the other athletes I could never keep their pace.
Miss Holly physical therapist,
curly hair and a warm, broad smile
It tempered the pain of being apart - to walk I'd take awhile.

I always wore those 'special' shoes
the kids they poked and teased
With no support and much abuse
with childhood I wasn't pleased.
But put nose to the grindstone and learned all that I could
I couldn't kick a ball but my grades were always good.
Years went by and no more thought to polio did I give
I accepted the limp and everything else
and decided my life I would live.
But symptoms of weakness and muscle pain did grow
I kept a stoic face hoping no one else would know.

Life no longer was my own I struggled through each day
Suffered in silence, isolated from friends-
trying to keep depression at bay.
And with the grace of glorious God my world it opened wide
I discovered there was a Post Polio team
and they were on my side.

Using wheelchair to travel, set limits on what I could do,
Resulted in joy to realize I could live life anew.
Celebrated my body- creaks, groans and need for a brace
While in my mind I focused on winning a 10K race.
Sought out paths for healing and my spirit flew free
For the first time in life, I could truly be me.
The chains are gone and possibilities abound
I'm a tree with my roots planted firmly in ground.
I'm now off the sidelines, no need to sit and whine
So much gratitude fills my heart and love and beauty shine.
After all these years I can join the loving human race
I exceed all expectations and now I set the pace.

I sobbed to write those words. I had never spoken about polio or the abuse I endured. I became curious. Why am I writing about winning a 10K race?

It was as though a spigot was turned on in my soul as poems poured out of me overflowing with messages of healing, hope and possibility. The poems helped to heal my past, create beauty moments in the present and create a future very different from the ones the medical profession predicted for me. That first poem foreshadowed my 2009 Boston Marathon run.

After a serious knee injury in December of 2014, I briefly returned to the medical community for a diagnosis to find out what I needed to heal.

The MRI showed a knee that would require a total knee replacement in a few years. I was told to stop running which they knew I wouldn't do so they told me to cap my distance. As we went through the results of the MRI, the physiatrist said in a most off handed manner, "Well your gastroc muscle on your left leg is atrophied. That's no surprise. It's been that way for years I'm sure as a result of the polio. There is nothing you can do about that." And, even after all I healed through the mind/body connection and visualization along with working with a personal trainer, he urged me to return to the Post Polio Clinic for a re-evaluation because it was only a matter of time before the disease progressed! Dr. Joe Dispenza calls this the voodoo curse. Doctors words can be very powerful for the unsuspecting patient and often times what they predict comes true. There was a case of a person who was told he had cancer and was given 6 months to live. Sure enough at the end of 6 months he died however, on autopsy, it was discovered he did not have cancer!

I was led to Ryan J. Means, DC, an earth angel chiropractor who gave me hope along with chiropractic treatments, KT taping and a new strength training regimen that I still use and build on today! He infused every treatment and conversation we had with hope and encouragement for me to get back to the sport I loved and that is my therapy.

He asked the question, "Why set limits?" and I went on to run 3 Consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons.

He gave me exercises to grow a new gastroc muscle used in conjunction with taping the gastroc muscle to stimulate its regeneration!

We used the concept of mirror neurons to encourage the development of new neuromuscular pathways to my left gastroc muscle. When once I relied on the right leg to encourage my left leg to be able to do a calf lift, I can now do separate calf lifts and feel my left gastroc muscle getting stronger and stronger over time. I graduated to doing the calf lifts on a theraband stabilizer to make the exercise more challenging.

As I was healing my life, I reached out to the Post-Polio Support Groups to be a guest speaker and inspire others with what is possible. Group leaders politely turned down my offer saying that they didn't want to offer false hope to group members. When I was doing research for my memoir, I came across this incredible piece from the wonderful physiatrist who cared for me as I recovered from polio and is included in "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" the third book in my Trilogy of Transformation:
Caution and Hope On Polio 'Signs'
Published: March 3, 1985
I read with interest the article entitled ''A Group for Polio Survivors Who Have New Symptoms'' (Feb. 10).

Having supervised the rehabilitation of poliomyelitis patients at Grasslands Hospital during the epidemics of the 50's and 60's, probably including the ''then'' infants mentioned in the article, I would like to add a word of caution and even hope as an afterthought.
Firstly, there is no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cord. After 30 years, one must accept some loss of endurance, increased fatigue and even some discomfort induced by other unrelated medical problems. This is true in the athlete with repeated injuries, in the obese person with back problems and even in the jogger with foot ailments.

Any individual with paralytic disability in an extremity will experience the normal process of ''wear and tear'' except that it may be more difficult to adjust to it. Just as one learned to compensate for the initial impairment so must one adjust to the later, more subtle changes rather than develop an emotional hang up of being a ''polio victim.'' ~EUGENE MOSKOWITZ, M.D. Mount Vernon

This is how the Westchester Post-Polio Group responded:
The Westchester Post-Polio Group is grateful to Dr. Eugene Moskowitz (Letters to the Editor, March 3) for providing the public with a concrete demonstration of the negative and patronizing attitude many of us encountered from physicians. If Dr. Moskowitz finds ''no reason to suspect deterioration in the nerve cells in the spinal cords,'' we suggest that he read ''Proceedings From the First Annual Symposium on the Late Effects of Poliomyelitis,'' in which highly respected members of his own profession advance excellent medical arguments and research reports in support of exactly that theory.



I understand that there are many who have a difficult time embracing my message of healing, hope and possibility. And that's okay ... I wish them well.

But I know from emails and messages I receive that there are many who are hungering for hope and have embraced my message to inspire their journeys.

Hope IS a four letter word and so is Love.

Love is a Four Letter Word from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Love is a four letter word
I swear by its healing power
as it pulses and courses through the river of my veins
unstoppable
watering everything in its wake
the garden of my soul.

Love is a four letter word
I bear witness
bare my soul
a breath of fresh air when love
enters a room
love ignites
delights
purges the past
forges the present
a force to be reckoned with
reconciles
unveiling
revealing.

Truth is
I am love
only love
pure and innocent
from Love
Perfection.

Love is a four letter word
the bridge
heaven on earth
all the elements I need to heal
living life as only I can
grateful to be a love.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route. Proceeds from the sale of books for July are being donated to The Joseph Middlemiss Big Heart Foundation to support Tom's Falmouth Road Race. You can also donate directly by following this link.

Reflections on Race Directors

I set out on a mission to do the impossible. In December of 2006, I was told I "had" a progressive neuromuscular disease and I should prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I refused to take the diagnosis sitting down after I had endured a bout of depression and anxiety. I got still, asked for Divine Guidance and poetry poured out of me visualizing myself as healthy, whole, healed and free in my body and yes, even Running the Race!

After 6 months of intensive outpatient rehab followed by 6 months of working with a personal trainer, I declared that I was going to run the 2009 Boston Marathon for Spaulding Rehab as part of their Race for Rehab Team!

The first Race Director I encountered was Paul Collyer. We were getting ready to run the Hyannis Half Marathon in February of 2009. I emailed him, told him about my challenges and asked him if it would be okay for me to participate in his race. He welcomed me as part of the field of participants letting me know that as long as I finished before the last marathoner, I'd be fine. The Hyannis Half was one loop of the full marathon and used the same starting and finish line.

I met Alain (that's Alain with an 'i') Ferry when I volunteered at the Runners World Classic Weekend. He was also the Race Director for the OneRun where runners and anyone affected by the events of 4/15/13 could reclaim the last mile of the 2013 Boston Marathon. He willed me to a PR and gathered a crowd to cheer me on to the finish at the Bill Rodgers 5K to Benefit Prostate Cancer.



He told me he would always have my back at a race when pre-race jitters took hold before the Spectacle Island 5K and 5 mile race; a challenging trail run on Boston Harbor's Spectacle Island. "If it were easy everyone would do it," he told me in an email. He went on to say that he knew I would crush it!

I first saw Dave McGillivray at the starting line of the 2009 Boston Marathon. In April 2014, he spoke at L Street Running Club. I stood next to him with a copy of his book "Last Pick" briefly told him my story and asked if he would sign my book. He signed it, "Set goals. Not limits". We became friends through the years and he has always been accessible if I have a question about a race he directs. We've exchanged some wonderful quips in our emails. I was a little anxious about signing up for this year's Finish at the 50 5K but he reassured me there is no time limit for the 5K and told me many people walk it to experience the finish on the 50 at the field at Gillette Stadium.

Dave wrote a book review for "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
“A most unlikely runner stood to my right as I gave the oral command for the mobility impaired start of the 113th Boston Marathon on April 20, 2009. That most unlikely runner was Mary McManus. She overcame the childhood challenges of paralytic polio and years of childhood trauma to become a runner at the age of 53 years old and take on the challenge of the Boston Marathon at 55 years old. In “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” you’ll be inspired as I have been by her courage, resilience and determination to overcome whatever obstacles life put in her path. Mary’s life story set against the backdrop of running in “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” will leave you asking the question, “If Mary was able to accomplish all that in the face of seemingly overwhelming odds, what’s stopping me from being the best I can be?” Dave McGillivray Race Director – B.A.A. Boston Marathon

Anthony Raynor, Race Director of the Bermuda Marathon Weekend had me at hello at my comeback race in July 2015 after a serious knee injury. I decided once again to do the impossible and heal my knee injury without surgery and to set goals not limits! From "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

Anthony Raynor and Clarence Smith had me at hello at the Bermuda Marathon Weekend Booth at the Finish at the 50 Expo. Tom started chatting with Clarence "Stoker" Smith. I hung back but cocked an ear to the conversation. I gingerly eyed the pink Bermuda wrist bands, the bling from Bermuda Marathon Weekend races and the samples of pink sand. I glanced at Tom and felt we each had a tug at our souls. The tug got stronger with each moment we talked with Clarence and Anthony. We reminisced about when we went to Bermuda. I felt goosebumps and a warm feeling come over me, while a part of me was wondering why was I even having this conversation about running in Bermuda. Several months ago I was told to cap my distance and prepare for a total knee replacement.

“If you can get up to the Half Marathon distance, you’ll be better off than running the 10K with all of its steep hills,” Anthony said in his delicious Bermudian accent.

“The last time I was in Bermuda I was in a leg brace using a cane and a wheelchair.”

Clarence's wife said, "Look at you now girl."

There was no stopping me now. We exchanged information. Clarence told us he'd pick us up at the airport. I chatted with Anthony about the weather in January.

"Look," he said with a deep warm laugh, "I was told you people still have piles of snow near the Seaport Hotel from this past winter. I can guarantee you this. You will have no snow in Bermuda in January."

After I ran Bermuda in 2017 and had a difficult time out on the course, Anthony sought me out at the Boston Marathon Expo in April to offer me an invitational entry to his race! How could I possibly refuse?

The Dedication and Acknowledgements from "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":

This book is lovingly dedicated to:

My husband Tom who has been by my side stride for stride for over 40 years. Here’s to many many more adventures to come….

The earth angels who brought a touch of grace to my life and helped me to overcome my challenges.

My village who embrace me and surround me with unconditional love cheering me on to go the distance on the roads and in my life.

To anyone who was given a diagnosis and told what their limits would be….Remember you are not your diagnosis…You have the power within you to heal!

With deepest gratitude to Anthony Raynor for giving me an invitational entry to the Bermuda Half Marathon 2018. It gave me the opportunity of a lifetime to know that I am healthy, whole and healed.

Thank you to Race Directors Dave McGillivray, Paulie Collyer and Alain Ferry for giving me the opportunity to run my race at my pace.

Thank you to all the mind/body luminaries who lit the spark that led me out of the dark night of my mind, body and soul and led me into the light of how life is meant to be lived.

I know there are races where there are time limits and I respect those limits for myself, other runners and the Race Directors.

But when a Race Director says that all paces are welcome and embraces my journey, encouraging me to be a part of a race where I can challenge myself, it's a gift that I treasure. Recently, I reached out to Becca Pizzi, Race Director for the Becca Pizzi 5K and 1 Mile Kids Race happening tomorrow. She has been incredibly welcoming and supportive of me being a part of the field.

And while I receive a wonderful gift being part of a road race, a far cry from the days of "Easy Out Alper", I also bring a gift to the races I participate in. I am doing the impossible, having defied the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome and, at the age of 65 years old, showing up at a starting line and being my personal best.



From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and at Paper Fiesta in Natick on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon route.

Book Review: Let Your Mind Run

Being a firm believer in the mind/body connection, I knew that I would love Deena Kastor's book, 'Let Your Mind Run.'



Deena takes us on a most remarkable journey from the height of success as a star youth runner to a crash and burn in college to rising like a phoenix from the ashes harnessing the power of her mind to train her body.

I was fortunate to hear Deena speak at the Runners Seminar Series at this year's Boston Marathon Expo. {Photo credit by my friend Kathleen Horgan who was in the front row}


Her warmth, her wit, her genuineness and self-effacing humor done with compassion came to life in 3-D for me.

"Let Your Mind Run" takes us inside the mind, heart and soul of an elite athlete. She is very clear to say that positive thinking is not just about your thoughts but a way of being. She learns that gratitude, compassion, the power of belief and self-talk are key components for a winning life and a winning race.

It became a game to hunt down the struggle to get to the point where negativity bubbled and I had to be more resilient more creative more optimistic and more grateful to emerge stronger from it.

Her imagery and positive mind games inspired me as a runner and a woman who believes it is vital for us to live our best lives.

There is no one moment she transforms from having felt burned out as a runner and in her life but rather ongoing transformation as she challenged herself to move beyond herself.

Every time I reach the crux of the work out or tough moment in a race and cover deeper layers of struggle and optimism and reinforce what was already there. Growth was constant self mastery was never ending.

You don't have to be a runner to be enthralled with Deena's journey although your enjoyment and experience of her journey will be intensified if you are a runner.

There were many moments when I rode emotions along with Deena but her experience in New York City after 9/11 was especially moving.

Moving through the trees in the park the beauty of nature, friendship and love reminded me running offers us the physical strength and mental clarity for human compassion. It allows us to improve ourselves and in doing so bring more love to those around us. I carried that up with me the rest of the day sending it out into the world and hoping it was enough.

Her story is seasoned with quotes and studies that support the benefits of letting your mind run.

A few of my favorites:
Happiness is the joy we feel striving after our potential. ~Sean Achor
From Deena:
Repetition is the mother of learning.
Find a thought that serves you better!
Find the right tool for the moment.
When my mind talked my body listened.
You are your own creation.
We must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our life. ~Henry David Thoreau
As he thinks so he is; as he continues to think so he remains. ~James Allen

If you mix fear with courage you blow past it and enter into the possibility that lay beyond. ~Deena Kastor

Reading Deena's book reinforced my beliefs about what happens when you let your mind run and inspired me to toe the starting line at races again...but that's a blog post for another day!

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and at Paper Fiesta in Natick on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon route.

National Poetry Month: A Royal Flush

It is not uncommon for people to gasp when they hear about the challenges I experienced as a child and adolescent. At the tender age of 5 years old I contracted paralytic polio. My mother was addicted to prescription pain medication and wouldn't/couldn't care for me as I lay paralyzed on the couch from the neck down. She glared at me while smoking a cigarette. Three years later, my father became alcoholic and inflicted unimaginable acts of violence against my little body. I endured 9 years of violence at his hand along with abuse from my maternal grandmother until his suicide when I was 17 years old.

Yes one could say I was dealt a crummy hand. But there was my guardian angel and earth angels who helped me get through those years and planted seeds of possibility for the champion I was always meant to be.

Those seeds began to bear fruit shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006 when, on a cold dark day in February of 2007, I discovered the gift of poetry in my soul! Through the power of my pen, my Divining rod for healing, I was able to free myself from the shackles of my past and imagine a future very different than the one predicted for me by Western Medicine. I was able to take stock of where I had been, where I was and where I wanted to go all through the imaginings in my mind.

From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Royal Flush

One could say I was dealt a hand of crummy cards to play
at first blush I would have to agree
bluffing became my way of life
playing my cards close to my chest
ever vigilant
shifting eyes
wondering
do I continue to play or fold?

The stakes were high
I could no longer up the ante
living on the edge
waiting to find freedom only in death
every day a living death
something had to give
new rules
unconditional love
trust
strength
courage
steadiness
releasing fear by experiencing fear
losing self consciousness
opening my heart.

I bet everything I had
riding on hope, faith and a prayer

“I’m all in”
putting my cards on the table
there it was
a royal flush!

The Mountain of Trauma

Weighted down by baggage
I trudged up the mountain that loomed before me
believing I needed all these supplies in order to survive
protective clothing and gear
heavy blankets of fear and panic
sleepless nights in the cold
unable to appreciate the starry night
walled off from all that surrounded me
in solitude I trudged onward and upward
carrying hope in my heart that I would find what I was looking for.

Little by little shedding baggage
leaving the trail of what no longer serves the soul
no need to look back
looking down
stomach lurches with uneasiness
thrown off balance
eyes gaze upward.

Turning my face to the summit
sun radiating warmth
feeling Divine Love on angel slides
my heart quickening its beat
knowing this is the place
seeking no more
planting the flag of my freedom
staking my claim on my birthright
drinking in the moment
no longer a victim
mighty conqueror!

Come Back From the Edge

It is only by going right to that moment
when consciousness is about to be lost
awakening happens
returning to the scene of the crime
no perpetrator
no longer a victim
compassion for the enraged one
restless tormented soul
seeking to end his own suffering
snuffing out my light and love
carrying the pain in my body
tightly bound wound around in each nook and cranny
unravel
body healing
releasing the pain
accept
forgive
come back from the edge
into the fullness of life.

May you play your hand with grace, ease and gratitude for all that happened for you and for the infinite possibilities that lay before you.

From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and at Paper Fiesta in Natick on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon route.

National Poetry Month: Happy To Be Alive

One of the ways I healed from the trauma I experienced from paralytic polio and abuse at the hands of family members was to write poetry.
From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":

Happy To Be Alive

Face to face with death at knife point
cold darkened eyes stare into mine
unflinching I stare back
afraid to move a muscle
already dead.

Life force safely tucked away
unknowing the outcome of this untimely encounter with death
at the hands of a madman
reasoning destroyed by gin and vermouth.

Angels intervene
he finds peace in death
I am left to put the pieces of my life back together again.
As numbness gives way to pain
pain gives way to gratitude
appreciation for this wondrous wonder filled life

where nothing makes sense and everything makes sense

purpose out of pain
grace in ungodly moments
surrounded by love
happy so happy to be alive

to tell the tale of one who almost died.

The Mountain of Trauma

Weighted down by baggage
I trudged up the mountain that loomed before me
believing I needed all these supplies in order to survive
protective clothing and gear
heavy blankets of fear and panic
sleepless nights in the cold
unable to appreciate the starry night
walled off from all that surrounded me
in solitude I trudged onward and upward
carrying hope in my heart that I would find what I was looking for.

Little by little shedding baggage
leaving the trail of what no longer serves the soul
no need to look back
looking down
stomach lurches with uneasiness
thrown off balance
eyes gaze upward.

Turning my face to the summit
sun radiating warmth
feeling Divine Love on angel slides
my heart quickening its beat
knowing this is the place
seeking no more
planting the flag of my freedom
staking my claim on my birthright
drinking in the moment
no longer a victim
mighty conqueror!

After the OneRun on 5/25/2013, I wrote this - from "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
Race Director Alain Ferry gave us the signal and we were off crossing the one mile to go mark in Kenmore Square. Four years ago, Team McManus headed toward the finish line with strength, courage and determination. The somber mood was quite a contrast to the celebratory mood we ex-perienced when we ran on April 20, 2009. When we got to Hereford Street, I took a deep breath. I knew we were going back to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel across the street from The Forum where the second bomb exploded. As we passed in front of the Mandarin, we stopped for a brief moment to give our thanks to the staff who ensured our safety. How healing and wonderful to see the two doormen who were there on Marathon Monday and express our gratitude to them, and be back on a part of Boylston Street I was terrified to visit.

I told Tom I was ready to sprint to the finish line. I said a prayer as we ran by The Forum. I sobbed as the crowds cheered. We were surrounded by runners with their bib numbers from Marathon Monday and throngs of people who had been touched by the tragic events of April 15. At the finish line we shared stories. We hugged. We cried. We healed. Despite the cold and the rain, the love and energy of the community kept us warm.

Before the start of the OneRun, Alain said, “You are out there to run for those who can’t.”
Those words echoed in my ears. I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon for those who couldn't and for those who were told they shouldn't run or would never be able to run again. I was delivering a message of healing, hope and possibility. Today I was one with the survivors knowing the long road they have for healing. I knew that they, like me, would be able to go the distance. Here I was running the last mile with a deep connection to the survivors of the bombing knowing in every fiber of my being what it’s like to work to regain mobility and to recover from the trauma of facing death. Emotions roiled within me as we listened to the pre-race ceremony speakers and then as we reclaimed Boylston Street as our own. It was a wake up call for me to get back to the sport and community of running. On June 16, 2013, I rolled up my yoga mat for the last time, got a new pair of kicks at Marathon Sports and began a new training plan joining the community of runners that would henceforth be known as Boston Strong.

Tomorrow is OneBoston Day. It's a day to remember and mourn and a day to celebrate all that is wonder-filled and magical about the Boston Marathon and our resilience as individuals and as a City.

There was a long line to enter the Boston Marathon Expo to allow for extra security in the wake of 4/15/13. This adorned the sidewalk outside the Hynes Convention Center:


Signs of Spring and renewal; a reminder of the wisdom of Mother Nature and the ebb and flow of the seasons of our lives.

I appreciate everything in my life and take nothing for granted. Every day I give thanks and I am truly happy to be alive!

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website by following this link

My books are available on Amazon.and at Paper Fiesta on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route in Natick, Mass.



“The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” takes you on Mary McManus’ healing odyssey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December 2006, Mary got still and asked for Divine Guidance tapping into the powerful connection she experienced to the Divine from an early age. She harnessed the power of her mind to heal her body, feverishly writing poetry in which she imagined herself healthy, whole and free from the shackles of her youth. Mary’s quest to heal her life led her to the sport of running. Her story is one that will leave you cheering for the underdog, discovering the meaning of different ability and experiencing the stunning view from the back of the pack of a race. You will have the privilege of bearing witness to how Mary overcame every challenge that life presented to her. The sport of running provides the backdrop for her journey of transformation from a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of family members to a woman who embodies faith, grace under fire, courage, determination, endurance and resilience. Running became a way of life for Mary that tested her mettle while forging friendships to last a lifetime. As you’ll discover in “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” nothing, not even a serious knee injury in December of 2014 could stop her on the roads or in her life.

Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life


Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:


Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):


My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.