One of the ways I healed from the trauma I experienced from paralytic polio and abuse at the hands of family members was to write poetry.
From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":
Happy To Be Alive
Face to face with death at knife point
cold darkened eyes stare into mine
unflinching I stare back
afraid to move a muscle
already dead.
Life force safely tucked away
unknowing the outcome of this untimely encounter with death
at the hands of a madman
reasoning destroyed by gin and vermouth.
Angels intervene
he finds peace in death
I am left to put the pieces of my life back together again.
As numbness gives way to pain
pain gives way to gratitude
appreciation for this wondrous wonder filled life
where nothing makes sense and everything makes sense
purpose out of pain
grace in ungodly moments
surrounded by love
happy so happy to be alive
to tell the tale of one who almost died.
The Mountain of Trauma
Weighted down by baggage
I trudged up the mountain that loomed before me
believing I needed all these supplies in order to survive
protective clothing and gear
heavy blankets of fear and panic
sleepless nights in the cold
unable to appreciate the starry night
walled off from all that surrounded me
in solitude I trudged onward and upward
carrying hope in my heart that I would find what I was looking for.
Little by little shedding baggage
leaving the trail of what no longer serves the soul
no need to look back
looking down
stomach lurches with uneasiness
thrown off balance
eyes gaze upward.
Turning my face to the summit
sun radiating warmth
feeling Divine Love on angel slides
my heart quickening its beat
knowing this is the place
seeking no more
planting the flag of my freedom
staking my claim on my birthright
drinking in the moment
no longer a victim
mighty conqueror!
After the OneRun on 5/25/2013, I wrote this - from "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953":
Race Director Alain Ferry gave us the signal and we were off crossing the one mile to go mark in Kenmore Square. Four years ago, Team McManus headed toward the finish line with strength, courage and determination. The somber mood was quite a contrast to the celebratory mood we ex-perienced when we ran on April 20, 2009. When we got to Hereford Street, I took a deep breath. I knew we were going back to the Mandarin Oriental Hotel across the street from The Forum where the second bomb exploded. As we passed in front of the Mandarin, we stopped for a brief moment to give our thanks to the staff who ensured our safety. How healing and wonderful to see the two doormen who were there on Marathon Monday and express our gratitude to them, and be back on a part of Boylston Street I was terrified to visit.
I told Tom I was ready to sprint to the finish line. I said a prayer as we ran by The Forum. I sobbed as the crowds cheered. We were surrounded by runners with their bib numbers from Marathon Monday and throngs of people who had been touched by the tragic events of April 15. At the finish line we shared stories. We hugged. We cried. We healed. Despite the cold and the rain, the love and energy of the community kept us warm.
Before the start of the OneRun, Alain said, “You are out there to run for those who can’t.”
Those words echoed in my ears. I ran the 2009 Boston Marathon for those who couldn't and for those who were told they shouldn't run or would never be able to run again. I was delivering a message of healing, hope and possibility. Today I was one with the survivors knowing the long road they have for healing. I knew that they, like me, would be able to go the distance. Here I was running the last mile with a deep connection to the survivors of the bombing knowing in every fiber of my being what it’s like to work to regain mobility and to recover from the trauma of facing death. Emotions roiled within me as we listened to the pre-race ceremony speakers and then as we reclaimed Boylston Street as our own. It was a wake up call for me to get back to the sport and community of running. On June 16, 2013, I rolled up my yoga mat for the last time, got a new pair of kicks at Marathon Sports and began a new training plan joining the community of runners that would henceforth be known as Boston Strong.
Tomorrow is OneBoston Day. It's a day to remember and mourn and a day to celebrate all that is wonder-filled and magical about the Boston Marathon and our resilience as individuals and as a City.
There was a long line to enter the Boston Marathon Expo to allow for extra security in the wake of 4/15/13. This adorned the sidewalk outside the Hynes Convention Center:
Signs of Spring and renewal; a reminder of the wisdom of Mother Nature and the ebb and flow of the seasons of our lives.
I appreciate everything in my life and take nothing for granted. Every day I give thanks and I am truly happy to be alive!
To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary
Be sure to visit my website by following this link
My books are available on Amazon.and at Paper Fiesta on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route in Natick, Mass.
“The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” takes you on Mary McManus’ healing odyssey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond. After the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December 2006, Mary got still and asked for Divine Guidance tapping into the powerful connection she experienced to the Divine from an early age. She harnessed the power of her mind to heal her body, feverishly writing poetry in which she imagined herself healthy, whole and free from the shackles of her youth. Mary’s quest to heal her life led her to the sport of running. Her story is one that will leave you cheering for the underdog, discovering the meaning of different ability and experiencing the stunning view from the back of the pack of a race. You will have the privilege of bearing witness to how Mary overcame every challenge that life presented to her. The sport of running provides the backdrop for her journey of transformation from a survivor of childhood paralytic polio and severe trauma at the hands of family members to a woman who embodies faith, grace under fire, courage, determination, endurance and resilience. Running became a way of life for Mary that tested her mettle while forging friendships to last a lifetime. As you’ll discover in “The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953” nothing, not even a serious knee injury in December of 2014 could stop her on the roads or in her life.
Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life
Coming Home: A Memoir of Healing Hope and Possibility that chronicles the first 7 years of my healing journey:
Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance (With a Foreword by Jacqueline Hansen):
My healing journey using the power of visualization is featured in David R. Hamilton's book, "How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body-Anniversary Edition." It's available on Amazon.
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