As a survivor of paralytic polio followed by enduring years of abuse at the hands of family members, I was trapped in my body desperately trying to just survive! But after the life giving diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, I began to savor the sensations of all the seasons despite admonitions from the medical community. I was told that if I used it I would lose it (yes you read that right) because of the damage done to the neuromuscular system by the initial polio virus. However, that was 12 years ago and I hope by now that they have updated their beliefs to include the phenomenon of neuroplasticity where the body is continuously healing and regenerating itself. I was also told that I had severe osteoporosis and should not go out in winter without a cane with an ice gripper!
All of that advice went out the window as I imagined a very different life for myself through my poetry and as I dug deep while training for the 2009 Boston Marathon. This poem was inspired by a training run around Jamaica Pond:
Courage
The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.
A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.
Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.
As I spent more time outdoors during training and in general in my newfound life, rather than bemoan the elements and see them as the enemy, I embraced all the seasons and savored the sensations healing all that went before through the power of my pen, my divining rod for healing:
Savor the Sensations
The bitter taste of trauma seasoned by salty tears
must be savored in equal measure
as hot cocoa slowly sipped
wrapped in a warm, soft sweatshirt
reminiscent of hugs surrounding
seasons and sensations come and go
when we allow nature to just be
not holding on
or avoiding
gentle embrace.
In the darkness of winter
peace and solitude can be found amidst the cold
as snowflakes gently, silently fall
look close
see the glittering diamonds
soon to be reflected by the morning sun.
Savor the sensations
release the grip
allowing heart and mind to breathe it all in
and let it go with a deep exhale.
This morning as a gentle rain fell, the alarm went off at 6:15.
Tom and I donned our ponchos over our layers and headed out for our early morning run.
We breathed in the fresh clean air and allowed the rain to invigorate us inviting and invoking us to embrace a new day.
The colors of Spring are bursting forth here in New England and they seemed even more vibrant against the backdrop of a grey sky.
The diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome was a wake up call.
I am blessed and deeply grateful that I was awakened to savor the sensations and bear witness to the fullness of life in every season.
From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com
Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link
My books are available on Amazon and at Paper Fiesta in Natick on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon route.
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