After I received the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome, a progressive neuromuscular disease in December of 2006, I was terrified. Then I was angry I mean really pissed off feeling "You've got to be kidding me...after all I've lived through."
One of my friends suggested I watch "The Secret". Now I don't subscribe to that let's look at that necklace in the window and manifest it into my life, but the power of gratitude resonated deeply in my soul.
I immersed myself in the "New Age" thinkers who were really bringing forth the wisdom of the ages. I knew about the power of the mind/body connection but had stopped practicing what I learned from Bernie Siegel, MD in the 1980's. I knew from Bernie's teachings that I was not my diagnosis and needed to understand what and why this was happening to me; not in the why me sense but in the let me understand what my body is telling me.
Without a doubt, Post-Polio Syndrome was my wake up call.
In February of 2007, I got still and asked for Divine Guidance. With many many print outs surrounding me at the dining room table, something caught my eye.
Lisa Nichols, one of the people who was interviewed for "The Secret" had in her newsletter, "I am so happy and grateful now that I...."
She encouraged us to fill in the blank and had prompts available...I am so happy and grateful now that I can create.
Create? Create what? I asked myself. My award winning Social Work Career at the VA was coming to an end with the diagnosis and I was way past my child bearing years.
And then I felt a stirring in my soul and the poem, "Running the Race" poured out of me followed by many many poems in which I healed a past that had been rife with violence in the wake of contracting paralytic polio and imagined a future very different than the ones the doctors predicted for me.
I knew that the lynch pin in my healing journey was gratitude: to be grateful for all the things in the past, experience deep gratitude for the blessings in my life for there is always always something to be grateful for and feeling gratitude for a new world opening before me.
From "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life":
The Gift of Polio
Thank you God for the gift of polio that brought me so close to you
while paralyzed I saw your face no matter what I’d do
Many wonderful healers you sent them to me at age 5
perseverance and triumph life’s lessons learned
but my Spirit could not yet thrive.
At age 53 the gift was sent to me a second time
having time to sit and feel to heal I started to rhyme.
The second time felt worse than the first
yet your love and wisdom I found
out of pain and weakness and fatigue a remarkable spirit rebound.
Reliving all the trauma of special shoes and such
I discovered remarkable healers who brought a loving touch.
I had no clue I had such strength and the ability to grow
no matter what the outcome deep gratitude I show.
This gift so precious I live a new life gratitude flows from me
my heart and soul are filled with grace each day’s a gift from thee.
Gratitude Tingles
Heart opens in quiet eyes are closed gratitudes trickle then flow
the basics a home, good food and love awareness begins to grow.
Each beat of my heart reminds me I’m a miracle of life
grace showers constantly upon me relieving alleviating strife.
Goosebumps with each reflection every breath a moment to pause
gratitude tingles feel the warmth relaxing unclenching jaws.
Grateful to now be fully alive so blessed to be kissed awake
appreciation flows in every vein for granted nothing I take.
What joy there is in this journey let Spirit within ever reign
trusting in goodness and kindness erases all fear and pain.
Memory traces from the past pale and fade when facing Source
gratitude overpowers correcting direction on my life’s course.
In moments of meditation happiness joy and peace
from the depths of my soul a fountain grateful blessings increase.
Lips upturn into beautiful smile from head’s crown to tip of toes
gratitude tingles tickling trail of delight everywhere gratitude goes.
The Voice of Love
Gratitudes and affirmations are the way to start my day
Tuning out the static let Your Voice to guide my way.
Lightness, love and laughter are the gifts You give to me
Feeling happy and abundant living joyful feeling free.
Take off the yoke of slavery that was anchored to my soul
Expose the truth of who I am – magnificent and whole.
Living in the moment – hear the raindrops feel serene
Breathing in Your power feeling grateful for this scene.
Your Voice of Love in whispers as the lush leaves bend with grace
Whenever I am with You I am in Your sacred space.
Open heart and open arms let Love cleanse every pore
To wash away the trauma of all that went before.
I kept a gratitude journal while experiencing a deep sense of happiness for the glorious opportunity and possibilities that I knew were available to me.
For the past 12 years I have practiced an attitude of gratitude and write in my gratitude journal every day. Grace and gratitude do indeed make the hard stuff bearable and the good stuff even sweeter!
Do you have a gratitude practice?
From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com
Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link
My books are available on Amazon and at Paper Fiesta in Natick on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon route.
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