Thirteen Years Later: Sail Away From Safe Harbor

May 25, 2007 -- I began my tenure on December 5, 1988. I was hired as the Visual Impairment Services Team Coordinator. I received a Certificate of Appreciation from the Blinded Veterans Association after I was reassigned to give my job to a member of the all male management team despite my outstanding performance in that role. I contemplated leaving the VA but I knew in my heart I belonged serving those who served until it was time for me to heal my life from the effects of paralytic polio and trauma. It was a beautiful summer's day kicking off Memorial Day Weekend in Boston. Instead of heading into Boston as I had done for the past almost 20 years, I drove to the Jamaica Plain VA Campus. I parked in a handicapped space grabbing my cane, wearing my toe up leg brace as I carried a piece of paper that each person had to initial to ensure a proper exit from the VA. I saw many familiar faces as I walked the halls for the last time as an employee. There were hugs, tears and joy that I was going to take care of myself.

After the final stop at personnel, I turned in my ID badge, took a deep breath, and headed out into the sunshine. I sat in my yard clutching my manuscript for "New World Greeting Cards: Inspirational Poetry and Musings for a New World" and editing it. I was preparing it for publication with PublishAmerica. I was in awe of the synchronicity that was happening in my life as I learned about the world of getting a book published and connecting with people who were inspired by my journey.

Many thought I was crazy to leave the security of my career and salary to follow my bliss as a poet author and and to heal my life. Two quotes that stayed with me during those initial days and weeks of retirement were:


and



I was able to transform and transcend my past during these past 13 years.

I have had adventures through the sport of running and made friends that I probably would not have met had I not found the courage to take that leap of faith.

I carry many fond memories of my veterans and their families in my heart and am blessed to be in contact with some of them through social media. I've reconnected with some of my colleagues who continue to serve those who serve and those who have retired after me.

Thirteen years ago I found the courage and strength to sail away from safe harbor with the unconditional love and support from my family.

I have been blessed to explore different life after the VA iterations, dream about running the Boston Marathon and crossing the finish line on April 20, 2009 and discover who I am and who I was always meant to be. I've been blessed to share my journey in books, magazines, in radio interviews and as a motivational speaker. I've been able to touch, bless and help people heal their lives in new ways after leaving my social work career.



Sail on and dream on dear friends!

Take a risk and find yourself land in the middle of the most wondrous adventures.

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon to uplift and inspire you.

From my heart to yours
In health and wellness
Mary

A Very Different April in Boston

During this last weekend before the weekend when the Boston Marathon would have been run, runners would have been out with Boston Strong shirts getting in one last run. The Hills in Newton would be filled with athletes feeling the heightened energy leading up to when Boston runs again. There would be a Facebook frenzy as friends check in with other friends to see when they will be arriving in town, scheduling meet ups, and endless posts about the weather forecast. Friends who would not be running Boston would be supporting those in taper mode and sharing last minute requests for fund raising. Parking in and around the area of the finish line would be blocked off and scaffolding for the finish line viewing area would be going up. Mile markers and start and finish line would be given a fresh coat of paint. The banners would have been unveiled a few weeks ago and would be lining the city's street poles. Boston Strong could be seen and felt all over the City. Preparations would be in place to mark the anniversary of 4/15/13 with a Day of Service that also represents the resilience of the people of Boston and those who were here on 4/15/2013.

But it's a very different April in Boston this year and the first time the Marathon has been rescheduled for September.

Runners' training came to a screeching halt after one of their longest runs in preparation for Marathon Monday.

The anticipation of experiencing Marathon Weekend with the Expo, the 5K and many many other events that celebrate the International Running Community has been replaced with a pause in activity.

Solo runs or runs with members of the same household replace group runs. Social distancing is the order of the day with runners, walkers, bike riders and dog walkers being mindful to give a wide berth to other persons getting in their exercise.

While this April is one of the most glorious Spring times we have experienced in Boston, it takes a special kind of attention to appreciate the beauty of Spring in the midst of the pandemic.

It takes discipline to stay focused on health and well being, a regular exercise program and to stay optimistic focusing on Hope and Love.

Ever since I received the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome in December of 2006, I have lived my life in the present moment while imagining the future I wanted to create. While sitting in a leg brace and using a cane for mobility, having been told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, I wrote beautiful poetry seeing myself as healthy, happy and whole while also healing my past through the power of forgiveness and gratitude.

As the world caught in the throes of a pandemic swirls around me, I meditate, write poetry, and run to stay tethered to Source and to avoid getting pulled into that vortex of panic and fear.

Today we went out for a 5K run but with the need for social distancing, ended up doing a 3.5 mile run.

We ran by the soon to be opened renovated Route 9 Reservoir and then through our neighborhood. We appreciated the vibrant colors, the clear water of the Reservoir and the sound of geese celebrating the beauty of the day. We waved and smiled at people we passed and everyone smiled and waved back. There seemed to be a collective sense of appreciation for the beautiful day and the gift of being outside.



It's a very different April in Boston. It feels as though it's our time in the cocoon and I feel as though there is a journey of profound transformation happening in each of our individual lives, our lives as a community and as a global community.



After the diagnosis of Post Polio Syndrome, I thought my life was over. Life as I had known it was in fact over. I needed to take a pause, heal and emerge as the champion I was always meant to be.

May this time of pause in our lives bring us to greater awareness and may we emerge as the champions we were always meant to be.

From Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life

The Thoroughbred

A dark horse
dark past
finishing last
ready to quit
battered and bruised
a foal fouled
yet Spirit unbroken
a thoroughbred deep inside
despite appearances
all she needed was a chance
someone to believe in her
a horse whisperer
in the mist
amidst fog and foliage
she runs
breaking free
transformed
into the champion she was always meant to be.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website to learn more about my inspirational journey from a wheelchair to the finish line of the Boston Marathon and beyond!

My books are available on Amazon.

Hidden in Plain Sight

We are all being called to grow a lot of qualities this Spring. I feel blessed and grateful that the gift of poetry is once again blossoming in my soul. While I have always cultivated an attitude of gratitude, this Spring I feel a profound appreciation for the burst of colors appearing all around Boston this year. I have a sense of awe and wonder at the world around me feeling a deeper connection to the Divine.

Last night I was drawn to look out of our living room window and my breath caught. The full Pink Moon was astounding!


This Springtime the world is taking a collective pause. Unless we are front line health care workers or in essential roles, we are away from the hustle and bustle of every day life. It's a time for cultivating patience, hope, faith, optimism and awakening to what might ordinarily be hidden in plain sight.

Gifts of Awakening

Hidden in plain sight

get still

pause

take a deep breath
get clarity
see through the eyes of the heart

a topsy turvy world
an upside down view
through the looking glass
nature's delights
a delight for the senses

Bird songs coaxing smiles
waves gently lap at shore
breathe in ... breathe out
tiny green buds
trees pregnant with possibilities

raindrops on windows
muddy puddles
Master's palette of brown and green
sweet scent anticipation of Spring

where Love lives there can be no fear
awaken to all in plain sight.

It's a time to see through the lens of Love rather than the lens of fear and panic that can obliterate the beauty that surrounds us.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Please be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com to learn more about my incredible journey of transformation from a survivor of paralytic polio to an endurance runner, poet, inspirational speaker and blogger.

My books are available on Amazon.

The Art of Being Present

During this morning's meditation, the phrase, "There is no past and no future...there is only now. How are you going to make this the best possible now you can?"

And then I remembered one of my favorite poems - since after all it is National Poetry Month:
The Art of Being Present

Each moment is a blank canvas
smudges and splotches only in mind's eye
raindrops from the heart
wash away the past.
Each moment is an opportunity
overflowing with possibility.

How shall I paint this moment?

My portrait once a still life
now
in stillness
life force leaps

dancer
lover of life
a geyser of joy
a river of happiness
gratitude flows
fragrant flowers sweetness
strong roots
lit with softness of sun's tender embrace
back from the edge
the ledge between life and death
creating the masterpiece of my life
one breath at a time.

The only reason I look at my phone in the morning is to put on a meditation. After meditation, I post something to inspire and uplift myself and others on Facebook, have breakfast and exercise.

I skim the subject headlines of emails I receive and delete any that contain news about statistics past and future. I send out loving kindness to the world, care and concern for those who have been affected by the pandemic and offer prayers for healing.

Being one who tends to absorb a lot of feeling from what's happening around me, I realized how vital it is for me to take exquisite care of me and our family during this time while giving financial support where we are able to our friends who are small business owners and causes near and dear to our hearts.

If I immerse myself in the news or people sharing their fears and panic, I feel it in my body. I get pulled into the vortex of the drama and trauma from the past or even worse, fearing what's to come.

One of the gazillion things I love about running is that when I'm out running, I am in the present moment.

And oh what a gift of present moments did we receive on this morning's 5K run:


During the time of this pandemic, it is so easy to get caught up in yesterday's news and predictions for tomorrow's headlines.

It's an ideal time to experience the art of being present for in truth, the only moment we have is the one right now!

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Please be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com to learn more about my incredible journey of transformation from a survivor of paralytic polio to an endurance runner, poet, inspirational speaker and blogger.

My books are available on Amazon.

All Clear

After the events of 4/15/13, we were ordered to shelter in place in the greater Boston area while law enforcement personnel tracked down and captured the person responsible for the bombings. We kept the TV on and while we had a group meditation on Facebook and kept taking deep breaths throughout the day, there was a sense of when will we be given the all clear to resume our lives.

We've lived through several major New England blizzards where we were told to stay home except for essential travel to allow crews to clear the roads. During the winter of 2014, we had snow storm after snow storm with no end in sight. We had ice dams and as water poured through ceilings and doors I was left to wonder, "When will this ever end?" Of course it did. Spring came and our homeowner's insurance took care of the repairs. We had a more energy efficient home with new paint and no more ice dams!

During the past 3 years, as our daughter endured multiple hospitalizations with no clear diagnosis or treatment plan I wondered, "When will this end? How will it end?" I had faith that sustained me throughout those times of dire crises and we all made it through to the other side.

I marvel at our resilience!

As we receive news of ever changing circumstances, there is a sense of "When will we receive the all clear?" As I experienced waves of anxiety, I watched a video by Dr. Joe Dispenza that you can watch by following this link and saw this post:

It seems so unnatural to make these types of choices in the midst of such conditions, but if we repeatedly succeed, in time we’ll transcend the norm—and we, too, become supernatural. And most important, by your being supernatural, you give others permission to do the same. Mirror neurons fire when we observe someone else performing an action. Our neurons mirror the neurons of that other person, as though we were performing the same action. For example, when you see a professional dancer dancing the salsa, you will dance the salsa better than you did before. If you watch Serena Williams hit a tennis ball, you will hit the ball better than you did before. If you observe someone leading a community with love and compassion, you’ll lead in your life in the same way. And if you witness someone self-healing from a disease by changing his or her thought processes, you’ll be more prone to do the same❤️

I called my dear friend and womanpreneur Paula Romero-Dunbar, owner of Paper Fiesta. We bought a gift card. I checked in with my hair stylist to see how he was doing and if he wanted me to prepay for my next visit with him. He was deeply touched by my reaching out to him and told me he was able to ride this out even though the salon is closed. We are checking in with friends and neighbors on Facebook and in real life. While we are mandated for social distancing, we are practicing emotional closeness, kindness and compassion!

Ruth Anne and I went on an almost 4 mile run today because the weather was glorious and focused on the blessings that surrounded us:


I only skim the headlines for the "breaking news" that comes into my inbox.

We take extra meditation breaks throughout the day and often pause to say at least 3 things were are grateful for.

While part of me feels the anxiety that comes with these chaotic, confusing and unprecedented times wondering when will the "All Clear" come, I realized that the All Clear is right now:

All Clear
When clarion calls and sounds all clear no need to sit and wait
time for healing transformation creating destiny and fate.
All clear and cleanse the heart and mind a voice to light the way
shine instead of whining the mandate of the day.
Tho panic fills the headlines let cooler heads prevail
adversity storms passing compass of kindness adjust our sail.
Imagination fired up dark clouds we now can clear
knowing deep within our soul there's nothing now to fear.
Light beckons in the clearing stand firm in Truths Divine
drowning out the din of dread love beams brightly shine.
All clear an inner peace takes hold deep breaths a wave of calm
emanates from faith and trust allowing healing balm.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

My books are available on Amazon

A Jamaica Pond Run

Last Wednesday, Ruth Anne and I decided we need to change up our running route. We are eagerly anticipating the reopening of the "Little Reservoir" on Route 9 that has been renovated for the past year. We had been running on Heartbreak Hill, out and back routes on Beacon Street and around the Chestnut Hill Reservoir.

We decided to return to Jamaica Pond where we have many many fond memories of Boston Marathon training.

During one of our training runs in the midst of a brutal New England cold winter, I was inspired to write this poem:

Courage from "Feel the Heal: An Anthology of Poems to Heal Your Life"

The fear of ice and snow and slush embedded in my soul
a training run in winter - the path to Being whole.
A winter scene - Jamaica Pond - a feast for eyes' delight
to witness nature's splendor and behold this glorious sight.

A leaf - a tiny dancer - skating free without a sound
God's breath directs her movements as She guides her twirling 'round.
Families of ducks decide to walk or take a dip
a comedy of errors into icy water slip.

Branches now bejeweled though bare bend with loving Grace
sparkling diamonds' anchor water's surface hold in place.
God's hand a glove of glistening snow hugs rocks along the wall
their heads peek out reminding me I'm answering God's call.

A scene I'd never witness if I let my fear take hold
courage triumphed, steppin' out with footsteps sure and bold.
Knowing that the pain subsides and Spirit can prevail
the Marathon is beckoning - through those miles I shall sail.


I was inspired to take a photo of those very rocks {minus the snow} during our run around the Pond:


Jamaica Pond's beauty is majestic in every season but I love experiencing the anticipation of Springtime in Boston from its shore:


Ruth Anne and I reminisced about one of our favorite Boston Marathon training stories while we ran {From Going the Distance: The Power of Endurance}:
And who could EVER forget us losing each other around, emphasize the word a-round Jamaica Pond. Tom had stopped at the car to fill up the water bottles and get some snacks. He had his iPod on really loud. I was in the zone and ran by him. I saw him looking for me in the opposite direction and yelled to him that I was over here. I felt so great and the weather was wonderful that I did not want to interrupt my rhythm. Tom thought that since I had to go to the bathroom (and the bathrooms were not open yet) that I went off the trail and went to pee in the woods. We finally caught up with each other and laughed so hard at the irony of losing each other around Jamaica Pond.

As we enjoyed our run and the anticipation of Springtime in Boston, I reflected on the miracle of my Boston Marathon run.

In December of 2006, I was told to prepare to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair; that as a survivor of paralytic polio, I would experience a rapid aging process and decline in functioning. I had difficulty with breathing, swallowing, walking and the limp from paralytic polio returned. I experienced chronic pain and fatigue. I hugged the banister to get from the first floor to the second floor of our Cape house. The team at the Post Polio Clinic suggested we adapt our house or move to a ranch. I was told that if I had any hope of stabilizing the symptoms at their current level, I needed to leave my award winning career as a VA social worker 3 years shy of when I was eligible for retirement. My future looked very grim.

I got still and asked for Divine Guidance and a poem flowed out of me called, "Running the Race."

I harnessed the power of the mind/body connection and imagined my life very different from my past that was fraught with disease and violence and created a future very different than the one the doctors predicted for me.

After intensive outpatient rehab at Spaulding Rehab, I was blessed to find a personal trainer who was willing to work with me to see if I could get a little stronger building on my home exercise program from Spaulding.

In February of 2008, when asked what my next health and fitness goals were, we shared in the joy of all that I accomplished in our six months together and planned out what was next. Janine was about ready to leave my house when I said, "Wait! I have one more goal..." Janine put down her things and turned around. "I want to run the Boston Marathon and I want to do it next year for Spaulding Rehab. They have a Race for Rehab Team!" Her response? "Well you're going to need to get a pair of running shoes!"

Ruth Anne and I reminisced about our many training runs with Janine at Jamaica Pond as she pushed us to do speed work and trained our minds along with our bodies as we felt as though our chests would burst when she pushed our pace.

We marveled at how we were able to go from couch to Boston Marathon finish line with sheer grit and determination honoring ourselves and Janine's incredible skill and talent as a personal trainer.

When we faced the 17 degree weather with wind gusts watching our footing as snow and ice seemed to never end during the winter of 2008/2009, I would supplement the warmth from our gear with imagining warm lava flowing throughout my body. I wrote poetry throughout our training visualizing only a successful outcome.

Marathon Metamorphosis

Pounding pavement, feeling strength the journey now begun
training for the race of my life a 26.2 mile run.
Feeling God in every step in every beat of my heart
I undertake this challenge as a new chapter of my life I start.

I ran around in circles carrying baggage by the ton,
destination was survival hardened shell let in no one.
Fear and worry doubts prevailed, adrenaline in my veins
a headless horseman running wild no one to take the reins.

Stopping in my tracks I froze no longer could I move -
clawing, fighting had to cease there was nothing more to prove.
God's grace touched like a magic wand, a softness and a glow
emerging from a troubled past my blood began to flow.

Loving teachers lit the way their love a healing balm -
focusing on who I am now brings a sense of calm.
Stretching every muscle feeling God in every cell
wholeness now a blessing out of prison - no more hell.

The race is still a year away each day my dream I see
mind, body, spirit tuning turning toward the Voice of Thee.
Flexing what had once been stiff to brace against the pain
old habits die and I'm reborn to write a new refrain.

And when the starting gun goes off poised with strength and grace
the thunder of the running feet will help me set my pace.
But the starting line's the finish my race already won
achieving the impossible preparing for this run.

The healing power of self-love and faith to spark the flame
transformed me from a victim once filled with so much shame.
Unearth my buried treasures my inheritance I find
connected to my Loving God in my heart and mind.

And when I cross the finish line the greatest cheer of all
has been this magnificent journey of answering God's call.

Eleven years later we can still feel the joy and triumph of our 2009 Boston Marathon with a run around Jamaica Pond.

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com with Healing Resources and Updated News and Events.

My books are available on Amazon

You're seeing it live! There's no instant replay!

While I love running in races, there is a certain thrill one experiences while spectating a race. On Sunday October 13th, my daughter and I were support crew for Tom's BAA Half Marathon.

The day proved to be perfect weather for spectators and runners which rarely happens.

The day dawned bright and beautiful:


After we saw friends at t-shirt distribution, we took our pre-race selfie proudly wearing our Team Big Heart shirts:



We sent Tom off to his place at the starting line and we enjoyed the pre race festivities listening to announcements by Tom Grilk and seeing the elite runners and wheelchair athletes warm up:


After the wheelchair start, the runners were off:


Ruth Anne and I found seats at White Stadium where we would wait for the finishers.


The announcer got the crowd psyched up as we waited for the wheelchair finishers to enter the Stadium.

"You're seeing it live! There's no instant replay!"

It was a sprint to the finish for the wheelchair athletes as the crowd roared! I'm glad we brought our cowbells to add to the festivities of watching the finish of a race.

Katrina Gerhard, an Acton-Boxboro High School graduate and current medical student, won the women’s wheelchair race with a time of 1:00:43 and beat the course record by more than nine minutes.

As 24-year-old Brillian Kipkoech of Kenya crossed the finish line in Franklin Park, she learned she just broke the course’s record by finishing in 1:07:40.



The athlete tracker and text message alerts had a discrepancy in Tom's time. I'm glad I signed up for text messages at the start because the tracker had him close to the finish when he was at mile 10.

We cheered on the runners streaming into the finish line keeping a close eye out for Tom.

We had a close call with one of the runners in a red shirt and dark shorts and were at the ready with our camera only to discover it wasn't Tom.

In the far off corner of the Stadium we saw him and waited til he got close to the finish to yell out for him.



Tom was trying to introduce me to the runner he met at Mile 8.

Dick Patrick is an award winning sports journalist. Tom went up to him at mile 8 and asked him how he was doing as he sensed he was on the struggle bus. These two over 65 runners ran through the last 5 miles together sharing runner stories. Dick regaled Tom with stories about Meb; he co-authored "Run to Overcome" and Tom shared my inspirational story of going from a wheelchair to the finish line of the 2009 Boston Marathon and beyond.

Dick and Tom lost each other after they went through the food station so I didn't get to meet him in person but we have been in touch since they crossed the finish line together.

Here's Tom's photo with his medal and our water bottle that bears the #lacostestrong heart.



It was absolutely thrilling to witness two course records broken at Sunday’s B.A.A. Half Marathon in the women’s open division and the women’s wheelchair division. It's always a thrill to see my bestie cross the finish line especially with an illustrious sports journalist.

Spectating a race - there's nothing like it! You're seeing it live and there's no instant replay!

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route.

Runners - We Inspire Each Other!

It's been a tough go of it with our daughter's health and mental health issues which, we are now discovering, have a profound effect on each other. The role of advocate and untangling a very wieldy health care and behavioral health care system coupled with incredibly painful physical and emotional states is exhausting beyond words at times.

When we laced up our running shoes and headed out to M Street Beach in South Boston to get on a run, I wasn't sure what my mind, body and soul were going to be able to do. Tom is training for the BAA Half and had 9 miles on his training schedule. We will both be running the 6th Annual Middlemiss Superhero 5K on September 28th. Last year we were so exhausted from the cycle of hospitalizations without relief that we did a virtual 5K instead of going to the race. That is NOT going to happen this year!

I had no expectations for myself other than to breathe deeply, get my heart rate up and enjoy the views of the beach allowing the waves and salty air to wash away the stress of the past few weeks.

Tom and I park across from M Street Beach and he warms up with me before he gets in his miles at his pace.

As we started out, we saw a woman with a half leg brace and a limp running in front of us. Tom nudged me and said, "Look."

"I know" I said and I flashed back to when I wore a toe up leg brace, used a cane and at times a wheelchair for mobility:


Tom took off and as I started to pass the woman and her running partner I was moved to say, "You're awesome!"

"You're awesome!" she said back to me.

"May I ask why you wear the leg brace?"

"Sure you can. I have drop foot as a result of multiple sclerosis."

"Me - polio - Post Polio Syndrome 12 years ago but here I am."

I started to run ahead but heard her running mate say that she had another 3.6 miles to go for today.

"You training for something?"

"Yup running Dublin Marathon the end of October."

"I ran Boston 2009!"

"You raising money for MS?"

"Nope ... celebrating 20 years of living with MS."

We fist bumped and went on our ways. She was on a walking break but soon passed me.

"You're doing great...keep going."

"You too," I said and each of us did a fist pump in the air.

I had my fastest overall pace and fastest mile for my 3rd mile since focusing on shorter distances after running 3 consecutive Bermuda Half Marathons.

I was inspired by my new runner friend transcending and transforming the last few weeks I had by celebrating overcoming challenges.

She was inspired by me; an older runner still going strong with a neuromuscular condition.

I hope she will take me with her to Dublin. I know her story will be in my heart and continue to inspire me.

Even though we didn't exchange names and might never see each other again, we touched each other's lives on Day Boulevard running along the beautiful Boston coast line.



Runners - we inspire each other!

To your health and wellness
From my heart to yours
Mary

To hear Race Director Dave McGillivray inspiring as only he can, he is going to be speaking at Whiraway Sports Center in Methuen on September 11th. Follow this link to register.

Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com

Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link

My books are available on Amazon and "Feel the Heal" and "The Adventures of Runnergirl 1953" are available in Natick Center Cultural District at Paula Romero Dunbar's Celebration Boutique Paper Fiesta coincidentally located on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon Route.