“Running allows me to set my mind free. Nothing seems impossible, nothing unattainable.” — Kara Goucher
After Sunday's Becca Pizzi 5K Run and 1 Mile Kids Run, I was canvassing how I felt mind, body and soul during my afternoon meditation. I felt deliciously spent and satisfied with a heart overflowing with gratitude.
After the meditation, I had a link to this article in my inbox: "For Depression and Anxiety, Running Is a Unique Therapy."
It's a powerful read that explains the science behind the mental health benefits of running that goes beyond endorphins. Running helps to create lasting change in thoughts that drive depression and anxiety.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
Shortly after the diagnosis of Post-Polio Syndrome in December of 2006, I was led to the sport of running through a poem I wrote and a personal trainer I worked with after being discharged from Spaulding Rehab Outpatient care. Not only did it bring healing to the late effects of paralytic polio, but helped to transform the symptoms of PTSD which was a result of severe childhood trauma.
Running and having goal races helped me to triumph over paralytic polio and trauma.
However, living with someone with serious mental health issues can be contagious. Our daughter has lived with us since 2017 and has struggled with serious mental health issues since 2014. After the Bermuda Half Marathon in January 2018, I lost my passion for being a part of races. As I look back on it, I was being drained in my role as caregiver and Ruth Anne's depression was having an adverse effect on me.
I continued with a 5 day a week training cycle which helped me maintain my fitness level but something was missing. I signed up for the Finish at the 50 5K on July 3rd.
When Scott Middlemiss extended the invitation on Facebook to sign up for Becca Pizzi's 5K and 1 Mile Kids Race, I did something I'd never done before. I impulsively signed up for a race.
Last Monday I had done speed work and ran the fastest 3.11 miles I'd run in a long time. Having the goal of the Finish at the 50 5K and doing a lot of internal work during meditation to extricate myself from Ruth Anne's energy helped me to have a great time both on and off the clock even though it was a solo run for me.
I asked Becca if there were any time limits for the race and when she said no I just went for the race registration. Becca was incredibly supportive and welcoming.
When we arrived in Belmont at the race festivities, I was overcome with emotions. I shared with Becca that the emotions took me by surprise and I told her the challenges we experienced with Ruth Anne. I realized the toll her illness had taken on me and was overwhelmed with gratitude to be back at a race. Becca gave me a huge hug and said, "That's what runners do we support each other." I let more tears flow as we picked up our bib and got ready for the race.
Dave McGillivray and his son Luke were chatting with Scott and Kate. Dave looked to see if I was wearing a race bib. I told him I sure was and shared with him what kept me from racing this past year and a half. "In addition to recovering from 3 half marathons in as many years," I said, "We've been dealing with our daughter's mental health issues." Dave compassionately replied, "That could really weigh you down."
I did not realize the shame and isolation I experienced, especially as the cycles of dysfunction wore on and wore me down. We had the opportunity to run the Joseph Middlemiss Superhero 5K last September and were registered but the Friday before the race, I did not have the energy to get to the starting line. We did do a virtual 5K that day but it wasn't the same as being a part of the running and racing community.
Out on the run Kate, Tom and I were in the present moment while also talking about the Foundation, Falmouth Road Race, the challenges of being a mother with a child with serious challenges and how running and kindness are wonderful antidotes to the stress and its concomitant toxicity that builds in the body. We experienced the love and gratitude flowing like the sweat and hydration after the race.
We took photos and basked in the glow of sharing a wonderful 5K race with so many kind hearted and like hearted people, several of whom were part of Team Big Heart!
Although Kate and I have only known each other a short while, we feel as though we've known each other all of our lives. Sunday's run was like a soldering iron cementing the bonds of friendship that grow stronger while out on a run.
All of the stresses and challenges with Ruth Anne seemed to melt away with every foot strike and although we didn't spend a lot of time focusing on the stress in our lives, they were transformed through those 3.11 miles winding through a beautiful Belmont neighborhood.
Tom and I are taking more aggressive steps to protect our mental health. I am running at least 2 days a week and some days 3 days a week now up from only 1 day a week. I allow the running community to embrace and support us on this journey of living with someone with severe challenges and will consider adding in more 5K races to my calendar.
It's time for me to run for my (mental) health!
From my heart to yours
In Health and Wellness,
Mary
Be sure to visit my website at www.marymcmanus.com
Hear my interview with Kendra Petrone on Magic 106.7's Exceptional Women Show by following this link
My books are available on Amazon and at Paper Fiesta in Natick on Mile 10 of the Boston Marathon route.
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